IS our country and all who sail in her just there as a matter of form? Does Rehman Malik, the unelected minister of interior and senior-most member of the cabinet, and his out of control empire say(s) things just for form`s sake?

Why, only two days ago the news was flashed on our TV screens telling us that three, not one, not two, not four, but exactly three tractor-trolley loads of explosives were seized somewhere within the precincts of Islamabad the Beautiful. Upwards of 800 kilos we were told had been confiscated.

Yet, the next morning`s papers were silent on any of this. There was not one word that let alone three tractor-trolley loads, even one donkey-cart load of explosives was seized by Master Rehman`s elite troops.

So, is it only for form`s sake that we do any of what we do, and say anything of what we say? Take the DG FIA`s earth-shaking revelation before the Senate committee that, let it be said, quite efficiently and in timely fashion took up the matter of the huge intelligence and security failure that the bombing of the Marriott, right in the heart of the capital of the Citadel of Islam, certainly was.

The dump-truck that carried the many hundreds of kilogrammes of death and destruction was blue in colour, the Director General Sahib Bahadur informs us. Well, so? So what, sir? What if the truck was red, or orange, or vermillion? How will this nugget of information help anyone?

Did the Federal Investigation Agency, at whose head sits the DG, note the colour of the truck as it passed one of its checkpoints? Did its own intelligence arm inform the agency that the blue truck noticed by its sleuths was being followed and was on its way to the so-called Red Zone in Islamabad the Beautiful — at a time, please note, when trucks are not allowed into the city?

If this was the case why did someone not try and stop the dump-truck from going where it should not have gone? On the very day that the new elected president of the Islamic Republic had addressed parliament; on the day that all the VVIPs in the country, well, virtually all of them, were in the Red Zone partaking of a feast?

If this is not the case and one of the DG FIA`s minions collected the evidence from a piece of the truck found at the site, it is trivia and should never have been brought before the Senate committee as if it were a great example of forensic/intelligence expertise. Surely something that can straightaway be called another example of saying something for form`s sake.

Let`s take another look at the Marriott and the already ongoing reconstruction of it. Has any forensic examination been made of the hotel`s own firefighting equipment and sprinkler systems as suggested in this space last week?

Has any detailed examination been made of the structure of the hotel which was subjected to high heat over several hours, before the CDA`s great firefighting effort bore fruit, i.e. when the fire exhausted itself out the following late-morning? Which reminds me what a pathetic defence CDA put up by saying that 39 firefighting vehicles arrived at the Marriott inside of whatever minutes. Either those of us watching television, or those who saw the goings on at the site itself, are blind AND deaf or the CDA is lying through its teeth.

Which immediately brings me back to the hotel Anyone notice that the Marriott is set back from its drive (upon which would stand any firefighting truck) by about 200 feet? In this protrusion, so to say, are the corridors, the reception, the Chinese, Japanese and Thai restaurants, the Crystal Ballroom and the Nadia Coffee shop, the last the favourite haunt of politicos, their hangers on and various deal-makers described as vultures in this same space some months ago.

Now then, even if the CDA miraculously had the requisite fire trucks and the training, where in the world would the trucks park so as to get their snorkels and ladders up outside the rooms to rescue people in case of a fire?

There isn`t a snorkel or ladder in the world that can go up even three floors with its base 200 feet away from the building! So is this not a huge design fault in the hotel building itself which would be a potential hazard in any, God forbid, future fire?

Incidentally, I am up to here with those who say that one does not condemn those that cause incidents such as suicide attacks. They have obviously not read one enough, or carefully. These beastly incidents are caused by beings that are worse than beasts. Killing the innocent can never be condoned.

But I reserve the right to denounce what are evidently intelligence failures of the worst kind in the tribal areas by the plethora of agencies that abound in the country. As a very little example, why did it take the agencies more than a year to choke off Mullah Radio`s FM station? These very same agencies make the life of ordinary peaceable citizens a living hell because of the great power they wield. By even making people disappear off the face off the earth.

I reserve the right to condemn the State of Pakistan when it blindly and cruelly bludgeons the innocent merely to prove to, let us not be afraid to name it, the United States, that it is more loyal than the king. That it is a better little poodle than any other country in the world.

I absolutely reserve the right to castigate and criticise my own country when it will not say sorry for the loss of innocent life, when it will not make recompense for the loss of life and limb and property of the innocent and the weak. All of those who think the American and Pakistani forces are doing a good job should go visit the refugee camps of the poorest of the poor Bajauris around Mardan.

A short comment on President Asif Ali Zardari`s threat to hug Palin. Gravitas, sir, a little gravitas. Being cute is good once in a while, but the “Wow you are gorgeous” should have been enough. Also, this gunslinging hockey mom could as easily have pulled a Derringer from her stocking.

I must say too that Zardari must be the second person on the planet, after the duffer Bush of course, to think that the world is a safer place because of Bush`s policies. Just look at Pakistan, Mr President, and tell us if our country is safer than before Dubya got off his tree?

PS Why do I detect Husain Haqqani`s fingerprints all over this “the world is safer because of Bush”, AND the Sarah Palin thingy?

kshafi1@yahoo.co.uk