Pakistan-China relations: A history

Updated May 17, 2013 02:55pm

When I was a kid in the 1970s, I remember Pakistan’s state-owned TV channel, PTV, used to keep playing a catchy song about Pak-China friendship.

It went something like this: ‘Pak-Cheen dosti wang woye, wang woye, wang woye, wang woye, Pak-Cheen dosti zindabad, zindabad, zindabad, zindaabaaad.’

The words ‘wang woye’ were in Chinese and were the Chinese equivalent of the Urdu word ‘zindabad’ (long live).

What amazing days they were. And what’s more, a bowl of chicken corn soup at Chinese restaurants was not only cheaper but tastier as well.

Some say that was because the Chinese restaurants used pieces from desi Pakistani murghis (chickens) and not from the ones cloned in those inhuman/inchicken poultry farms that sprang up across Pakistan in the late 1970s.

Meat from desi chickens being used by expert Chinese cooks was one of the true reflections of Pak-Cheen dosti (Pak-China friendship). It is the unique chicken corn soup that you can still get from Chinese restaurants in Pakistan that has made the Pak-China friendship so great, legendary, and, well, unique.

Recognising this, the United States tried its utmost to stick a spammer in the relationship between Pakistan and China. It tried to do this by introducing the evil science of chicken cloning in Pakistan. Chicken cloning really became popular among the country’s naïve poultry farmers because it was cheaper to maintain, compared to raising healthy desi chicks.

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The US Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger (also known as Ace Fernley), first visited Pakistan in 1972 right after the country lost a war against Bengali terrorists in former East Pakistan – a war, one must remember, in which the US did not help Pakistan during and which India claimed it won.

Only China came to our rescue. As the US imposed an arms embargo on Pakistan and while the Bengali terrorists were being armed by India that was being armed by the Soviet Union that was being armed by the communist wing of the Illuminati; China sent an army of 77,000 chefs to Pakistan who prepared zabardast, delicious giant bowls of chicken corn soup for our troops. Yum.

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Most Pakistanis had tears in their eyes. Cynics said it was just the chilly sauce in the soup, but the truth was, it was this beautiful gesture by the Chinese during the bloody war that made us so emotional. After all, it was a war in which so many true Muslim Pakistanis of West Pakistan were brutally slaughtered by East Pakistani terrorists.

Impressed with the way West Pakistan so successfully got rid of the troublesome and useless East Pakistanis, Ace Fernley arrived for a secret meeting with Pakistan’s new premier, Zulfikar Ali Babutto.

After congratulating Premier Babutto on the conduct of the Pakistan army and its people in their war against Bengali terrorists, Ace unravelled the real purpose of his visit: China.

Conscious of the growing relationship between Pakistan and China – and jealous of the fact that Chinese food at US Chinese restaurants pretty much sucked – Ace asked Babutto to help US start a dialogue with the communist Chinese regime to neutralise the global communist threat being faced by the world from the Soviet Union and an obscure tribe deep inside the Amazon forest.

Babutto agreed and his government helped kick-start talks between Chinese premier, Zhou Ajinomoto, the Chinese Communist Party Chairman, Mao Something-Tung, and Ace Fernley.

The secret talks took place in a comfy little corner of the Great Wall of China and both the parties – the third party, Pakistan, was sent on a sight-seeing tour – agreed to tackle the Soviet menace together.

It was also decided that the Chinese will share its Pakistani recipe of chicken corn soup with the Americans in exchange for 15,000 Levis bellbottoms for the members of the Chinese Communist Party.

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Ace Fernley thanked Premier Bubutto for arranging the historic first contact between US and China, saying this has also strengthened relations between Pakistan and the US. Premier Ajinomoto of China too thanked Bubutto saying, ‘the soup can now only get tastier.’

But relations between the US and Pakistan began to strain when in 1974 India managed to construct a nuclear device. It was a nuclear powered toothbrush. It was proudly exhibited on the Indian media by the Indian premier, Prem Chopra.

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Prime Minister Bubutto promised the Pakistani armed forces that he will do anything in (and out) of his power to make sure Pakistan too had a nuclear toothbrush. For this, he assembled a team of top Pakistani dentists, one of which was a young man called Dr. No.

Concerned about the concern of its friend Pakistan, the Chinese government sent 60,000 Chinese dentists to Pakistan. Though none of them really helped Pakistan build a nuclear toothbrush, they did end up putting a lot of Pakistani dentists out of work.

This made Dr. No very angry and he began calling Bubutto an atheist and someone who preferred fried frogs legs over fried chicken wings. Dr. No decided to leave Pakistan and travel to Holland.

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Meanwhile, the US, through its moles and squirrels in Prime Minister Bubutto’s garden, got to find out about Bubutto’s plan of constructing the nuclear toothbrush. Ace Fernlay asked China to caution Bubutto. The Chinese government did caution Bubutto – but in Chinese.

So, obviously, Bubutto had no idea what the Chinese were talking about, and replied, ‘Yes, yes, thank you. We love you too.’ Not understanding what Bubutto was talking about, the Chinese once more sent him a caution – again in Chinese.

Ace Fernley was livid. He sent a message to the Chinese: ‘Why are you cautioning them in Chinese?’

Not understanding the message, the Chinese replied (this time in English): ‘Yes, yes, thank you. We love you too.’

Frustrated, Fernley is said to have directly called Prime Minister Bubutto, warning him that the US would make a horrible example of him if he didn’t stop his programme of building a nuclear toothbrush.

‘Why?’ asked Bubutto. ‘We have teeth too.’

‘I will break those teeth if you don’t stop,’ said Fernley.

‘Good,’ replied Bubutto. ‘Then we’ll make nuclear teeth as well.’

Only months after the conversation, a movement against Bubutto led by Pakistan’s religious parties erupted. Bubutto accused the Americans for funding the movement. The religious parties denied this and said they’d had enough of a PM who preferred frog legs over chicken wings. They also accused Bubutto of putting thousands of Pakistani dentists out of work.

‘Look!’ said leader of a religious party at a press conference while showing his cavity-stricken teeth. ‘Look! I can’t find a decent Muslim Pakistani dentist anymore. How can a pious Muslim like me go to a Chinese dentist? They don’t believe in God. And eat frog legs!’

As the movement against Bubbuto gained momentum, he turned towards the Chinese for help, only to find that they were still speaking to him in Chinese. Alas, in July 1977, Bubutto’s government was toppled by General Nasim Hijazi.

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But this didn’t impact Pak-Cheen dosti. In fact, not only did the Pak-China friendship remain intact, a new chapter of co-operation and friendship began between Pakistan and the US.

This was the time when the US introduced chicken cloning technology in Pakistan. General Nasim and his partners in the religious parties at once endorsed the technology, calling it ‘in accordance with the moral and dietary dictates of faith.’

Bubutto was hanged in 1979, but the Chinese got to know about his demise in 1988 when his daughter Benazir was elected Prime Minister of Pakistan.

‘Really? He’s dead? Like, gone? Wasn’t he in Libya?’ The Chinese delegation had asked Benazir.

‘He died 10 years ago, gentlemen,’ Benazir had replied. ‘Where have you been?’

The Chinese delegates were surprised by the question: ‘Madam, we were helping our friend Pakistan defeat the Soviets in Afghanistan. You can still see the giant bowls of chicken corn soup that we sent on the battle fields.’

That they did. They also kept a stable relationship with the US, especially with US President, Ronald Claude Van Damme, who was also a huge chicken corn soup fan.

President Van Damme’s remarkable passion for defeating the Godless Soviets through Pakistan and the Afghan mujahideen made him purposefully ignore Pakistan’s ongoing plans to build a nuclear toothbrush.

He knew that his comrade in arms, General Nasim, had continued the programme and also the fact that the General and his supporters in religious parties were now calling it the ‘Islamic Brush.’

Dr. No too had returned from Holland, smuggling sensitive blueprints from various dental clinics in Amsterdam and leading a group of Pakistani dentists to build a nuclear toothbrush.

China knew about the programme and as a friend asked all right-handed Chinese dentists in Pakistan to become left-handed and left-handed dentists too become right-handed so that the Pakistani dentists would start looking better than their Chinese counterparts. It was a great sacrifice.

China again came to the rescue, when after the Godless Soviets were defeated in Afghanistan, the US suddenly abandoned Pakistan and became concerned again by Pakistan’s plans to build a nuclear toothbrush.

US placed economic and aid sanctions on Pakistan and also stopped the sale of halal toothpaste in the United States, leaving many Pakistani Muslims living in the US using Miswak to brush their teeth with. It was a great injustice.

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This made the Pakistan armed forces very angry and they pressurised the government to quicken the process of building the nuclear toothbrush.

Dr. No said that the brush should now be used against Western, Zionist, and Hindu US dentists.

During the economic and political crises that Pakistan went through in 1990s – mainly due to US sanctions and, of course, due to the corrupt, unpatriotic and useless civilian leadership – China jumped in to help.

In Pakistan’s hour of need, China sent about 10 million gold fish bowls to Pakistan. Feeling upbeat by the arrival of the gold fish bowls, Pakistan finally announced that it had made the nuclear toothbrush.

The toothbrush made Pakistan a proud nation of strong, shining white teeth.

Dr. No is now hailed as the father of the brush and in a noble exhibition of his love for faith, he even tried to spread his faith in North Korea by sending them certain parts with which the North Korans too could build a nuclear toothbrush; and brush the US and Europe off the face of the earth, yea baby!

enter image description here Also, though Pakistan’s religious political parties, military, Dr. No and your neighbour still don’t like the fact that the Chinese eat frog legs, they see it being Pakistan’s only true and greatest friend.

Only recently this friendship was once again displayed during the terrible floods that Pakistan faced in 2010.

European countries and the US might have been the first ones to send aid to Pakistan during the floods, but it was our dear friend China who actually put a smile on our faces during the ordeal by sending 10 million stuffed pandas with strings which when pulled made the pandas sing, ‘Pak-Cheen dosti wang woye, wang woye, wang woye, wang woye …’

Relations between Pakistan and China have not only grown on an official and economic level, but on a spiritual level as well. The North West region of Pakistan that hosts Arab, Chechen, Uzbik, Tajik, Somalian and Martian Buddhists, is now fast becoming a training ground for Chinese Buddhists as well.

They are being trained by Pakistani Sufi masters in the mountains to achieve nirvana by exploding themselves at the sight of frog legs. Somehow, the Chinese regime is not very happy with this. Silly people.

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Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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Comments (141) (Closed)


Lim Matthew Levi
May 10, 2013 12:18pm

Pakistan struggles as a country, as a society, as a community, as a neighbourhood and as a family since it became independent.

Pakistan struggles to function properly and normally in the government, in the institutions, in the military, in the political arena, in the religious sphere and as a peole trying to live a normal life every day of their life.

This is one simple reason for its struggle. It does have a firm foundation to live, operate and function as a normal country. Without a foundation, it continues to be influenced by its neighbours and countries from western Europe and the United States.

DAWN being a leading newspaper should lay out the discussion, the forum, the conversations and the spreading on the foundation of a normal country in the next 50 years. Maybe by then, Pakistan will operate as a normal country and the people will live a normal life.

Syed Zia
May 09, 2013 02:51pm
Nadeem radical activism is not critique...
AI
May 09, 2013 12:29pm
Take it easy Bro !!!! take it easy .. its sarcasm , if you can’t understand then go back to school – ROFL !!!!! don’t put stress if you do you will need Chinese Chicken Soup!!!
pm
May 09, 2013 11:50pm
Allama Iqbal wrote “Muslim hain hum watan hai sara jehan hamara” Sahir Ludhianvi parodied “rahne ko ghar nahin hai sara jehan hamara”
Devil
May 10, 2013 06:07am
ah! Dentist with Nuclear Tooth Brush ? You, the intelligent sire, with lot dimaag, know better and all, might be due to the (chicken) soup.. that China provided you from time to time... sire now I understand why you got your visa to UK rejected; the revelation that your dimaag will not change, no matter where you go !! you the great sire ! I bow !!
Niranjan
May 10, 2013 01:28am
Probably one of NFPs best pieces ever. Funny stuff, "Rehne ko ghar nahi, saara jahaan hamaara". Inside the satirist is a true pakistani patriot.
Asif
May 10, 2013 12:09am
He was being sarcastic smartypants.
Srihari
May 10, 2013 06:06am
@bluewrox ... Satire definitely is not your cup of soup. NFP.. wang woye, wang woye !! Hats off sir.
HNY2013
May 10, 2013 06:03am
Sir ji.....time for "CHILL PILL"
SBB
May 09, 2013 04:06pm
It doesn't make sense.. why would the author care about India? It's like asking a dentist to check your eyes as well. Passport badalne se dimaag nahi badalta.
Aamir
May 10, 2013 05:59am
so amusing but carrying plenty of dubbed information
United States of India
May 10, 2013 04:42am
I couldn't stop laughing, hilarious... wang woye wang woye
zia khan
May 10, 2013 01:41am
We should not blame another nation for our own shortcomings. We had greedy leaders who never kept country's interest supreme. If Chinese technology can take China to the heights of development then why it is not good enough for us. We know that vested interests will always sabotage you if their interests are at risk. We had moles in civil and military to look after American interests and kept China at arm's length unless we found ourselves cornered at different times. We should blame ourselves for not being consistent in our relationship with China.
XYZ
May 09, 2013 05:48pm
"Be A Man" -Confucius
bluewrox
May 09, 2013 05:38pm
India claimed it won?? dude what is there to claim...bangladesh is a seperate country now...
observer
May 09, 2013 05:26pm
"They are being trained by Pakistani Sufi masters in the mountains to achieve nirvana by exploding themselves at the sight of frog legs" Someone help me off the floor, please. If only the Chinese could read this. Take a bow, Sir.
Global citizen
May 09, 2013 04:51pm
People who can't understand dark sarcasm should not bother to comment on NFP's columns and make laughing stock of themselves.. :-)
Sukrat
May 10, 2013 04:16am
Amazing ! This is the first time I am reading your article and totally impressed. Hilarious and satirical to the core. Congratulations ! Hope to see more.
Imran Haider
May 10, 2013 04:06am
Hilarious...nice presentation too.. gives a good laugh. but jokes apart...It's a real mystery why our "perennial all weather" Chinese friends didn't help when we require their help badly. Can Chinese be really trusted??
Yahya
May 10, 2013 03:55am
This is the reality infact bitter but the younger generation should know the truth.
Meticul0us Reader
May 10, 2013 03:43am
A well-defined hist0ry and a great eff0rt t0 make pe0ple c0mprehend the imp0rtant event 0f past in a light and classical way.... hats 0ff!
S. Covell
May 10, 2013 03:37am
Absolutely hilarious and brilliantly funny, well-written!
shankar
May 11, 2013 12:33pm
china continues sell substandard weapons, planes, railway engines and the like to pakistan. nobody bothers until it s too late
umesh bhagwat
May 10, 2013 02:28am
superb!
siddhu
May 10, 2013 02:21am
Nadeem Paracha is the best. I wish we could have someone of his talent & sense of humor in India.
Jagjit Singh Sidhoo
May 10, 2013 02:03am
Indian PM Prem Chopra L O L u made my day
Alex Sal
May 09, 2013 08:58pm
Anyone thinks that China is Pakistan's friend is on crack. That relationship ended decades ago. Now we are just another consumer of cheap Chinese plastic.
Dr. Amjad Hussain
May 09, 2013 08:56pm
Nice stuff but the Chinese did not come to our aid in 1971 while India mutilated us.
Mustafa Razavi
May 09, 2013 07:42am
One of the supposed accomplishments of NFP's leader ZA Bhutto was Pak-Cheen dosti. No wonder jiyalas hate the word ghairat.
Shah
May 09, 2013 09:13am
Satire must have a point.
truth
May 09, 2013 09:14am
truth
moina
May 09, 2013 07:50am
thats Amazing ! Hilarius ! yes yes we love u too
Guru
May 09, 2013 07:50am
Taller than the Himalayas & deeper than the oceans friendship - laid bare in full glory :-)
prashant
May 09, 2013 11:23am
its called satire
Riaz Akmal
May 09, 2013 08:09am
Great!
Dude
May 09, 2013 08:12am
Bangladeshi Terrorist...... Good one..... Change of heart or sarcasim..
I
May 09, 2013 08:14am
hahahaha awesome!
Ahmed Noor
May 09, 2013 08:14am
It was "You Yi Wan Sui", not "Wang Woye", literally meaning "friend ship ten thousand years" or simply "friends for eternity".
Shahid Hamid
May 09, 2013 08:20am
NFP does it again. Another hilarious straight-faced satire that is bound to be read very seriously by a lot of people. Haha.
RAW is WAR
May 09, 2013 08:28am
LOL.
Tauseef
May 09, 2013 08:51am
NFP "WANG WOYE" "WANG WOYE" "WANGE WOYE"
peace
May 09, 2013 08:52am
Good observation. How did you miss out Bubutto!
Tauseef
May 09, 2013 08:53am
Why you can't take a simple satire in lighter way? NFP mentioned WANG WOYE means ZINDABAAD. He never claimed that WANG WOYE means freinds forever!!!!
chump
May 09, 2013 10:58pm
Ahmed Saab, you have to be Al Bakistani to understand NFP.
Ram Krishan Sharma
May 10, 2013 05:57am
Hindi--- Chinee Bhai Bhai was a slogan in India before 1962 . Not now.
hell
May 09, 2013 09:17am
India claimes it won?? India won that is why that country is known as bangladesh.. till when you will keep your countrymen in dark
Shehryar
May 09, 2013 09:18am
Excellent. Really enjoyed reading it.
Blitzer
May 09, 2013 09:24am
What the heck did I just read?
salman
May 09, 2013 10:17pm
i really was expecting something better, sir
Shahryar Shirazi
May 09, 2013 10:19pm
Ever heard of the word sarcasm ? thats what this article is ...
Dr. Shaiq Kapasi
May 09, 2013 10:16pm
The Chinese disappeared in the 1971 War and we were let to fragment
Tauseef
May 09, 2013 09:33am
Yes there must be a point to make and you have missed the point.
Irrfaan Akhtaar
May 09, 2013 09:39am
And Simraan Khan or Lajaawaab Sharif looking forward to take pak-chini wang woye to new heights.
Alan
May 09, 2013 09:43am
India did not claim it won it actually won.... if you still have a confusion, please go through Pakistan map once again....now do u see the land of "Bengali terrorists" still there? ? dont worry it happens some time...have some good quality chicken soups they actually known to open some blocked nerves of eyes and brain.
Sauron
May 09, 2013 09:48am
Its a joke buddy.... get it?
Capt C M Khan
May 09, 2013 10:10pm
NFP THE SOUP SUPPLY IS GOING TO STOP SOON. Pak-Cheen dosti will only be Ping Pong. Beacuse a New Pakistan is in the making ..TALIBAAN "B" team iis going to come in power. MQM/PPP/ANP voters scared of bombs...only PTI/N league voters feel safe to vote and will come to vote...CJ does not notice this nor ISI/EC...this is HIJCAKING of ELECTIONS. There must be EQUAL PALYING GROUNDS for all teams but it is not. Sad very Sad. No LAW AND ORDER in the country...only exists for the poor and NOT for TALIBAAN. There is not going to be any new investents for a long while.
omer
May 09, 2013 10:07am
You ever heard of satire?
gotti
May 09, 2013 10:09pm
Entire point of the piece seems to be, why didn't the Chinese help Bhutto and stop Zia from having him hanged. The premise is that the Chinese are self-interested, disloyal people and by people, the reference is to the government and not the actual population (no overt political correctness intended). Now, you didn't need to go too far to understand the answer was the Russians, another supposed ally of China that they wanted destroyed and have been competing with in the Golden Triangle. I also understand the author's point of view when he implies that Russians/Leninists are more trustworthy and loyal given the Indian example, and even today, Putin didn't visit Pakistan at India's request. Is he right in assuming Russian loyalty? Look around the world or just look in Pakistan - the Steel Mills. Maybe he is right. However, loyalty and emotional attachment does no good in geopolitics because if it did, USSR would've been intact and China wouldn't be where it is today. Although, the author is a "good" person by being a proponent of genuine political allegiances, I believe world history has shown that there is no direct link between political success and loyalty, which is why I completely disagree with what was written (despite its good message). Exception is the Nazis, who shouldn't have invaded Russia for their own survival, but the world is a better place, now, without them, so their betrayal of the Russians wasn't that bad after all, now, was it? Treachery isn't a bad thing and karma doesn't serve justice to those who are treacherous - this is a simple rule of this world - anyone who disagrees may continue to live in an alternate/parallel universe. Had that not been the case, people like Clinton, Tiger Woods or our very own Meera wouldn't be where they are today - they would've been sucked into Earth in a sinkhole in their own homes whilst they slept - but, where are they now? They are lliving the high-life. Where are the "good" monk-type folks? Either in high-altitude Himalayan mountains with no human interaction or indulging in self-immolations. The values that people expect to be upheld in the world are only in existence there, yet no one wants that life and would rather live in the concrete jungle. If that's your preferred location and lifestyle then don't try to apply the rules of the former, here. In this world, unfair means advantage and selfishness means intelligent. This is the reality of this world, people. Redefine what values or "what's right" means because your previous definitions are fallacious and null and void. Humans aren't intrinsically bad. Because well, it just depends how you define what "bad" truly means. China is relevant today because of its self-interested lechery. The day that stops, we will be referring to it as the ex-PRC. That's what happened with Bhutto, too. He was a cut-throat, selfish and vengeful man - the day he confided in and trusted Zia, genuinely, we awaited his demise. Sorry folks, that's the truth. Take it or leave it, it will continue to exist, as is.
Robin
May 09, 2013 10:16am
lol obviously you did not grasp the sarcasm by the brilliant author.
Khan
May 09, 2013 10:24am
No one is in the dark in Pakistan about this my friend. The winning claim that was made by Indian PM was about falsifying "two nation theory, which means sub-continent should be divided based on the two nations - Muslims and Hindus". For "the claiming" winner, it will be much harder to compete with two sovereign states, along with (the current) 20+ separation movements within! Moreover, Bangladesh is feeling the hidden hands behind their current situation. ummmmmm Let's not guess about who that can be :)
Atif Ehsan
May 09, 2013 10:24am
NFP epic....i think the gem of the article was General Alladin as general Nasim ;)....oh man...i cant stop laughing ..enterprising pakistani...and chinese achieving Nirvana
Pavas Ambashta
May 09, 2013 10:36am
The Last portion was just amazing..Pakistan sufi masters training to achieve Nirvana by exploding themselves"..Just amazing!! :D
Nirav
May 09, 2013 10:38am
it was really funny and I did have a good laugh at some of the dialogues (like .. 'we also have teeth',, '..Third Party was sent for site seeing..' etc. Too good, Mr Nadeem. You can be an excellent script writer of a Black Comedy in Bollywood/Hollywood!
khan
May 09, 2013 10:41am
SO MANY ARE JELOUSE OF PAK-CHINA FRIEND SHIP WHICH GOES BEYOND OUR IMAGINATION THAT HOW CLOSE THE COUNTRY ARE . MAY ALLAH KEEP THEIR FRIENDSHIP ALIVE FOREVER.
Parvez
May 09, 2013 08:00pm
China has changed, its leadership has changed................we still have not understood this.
hakeemullah mehsud
May 09, 2013 11:25am
ali haider geelani no wang woye wang woye wang woye
Ajay New York
May 09, 2013 11:34am
As a former Indian citizen I invite the author to turn his delightful wit and satire towards the Indian scene. There are many pompous corrupt politicians saying and doing absurd things.Another excellent article!
hakim
May 09, 2013 11:35am
I was also trying hard to find a hint whether it was a sarcasm. Difficult to say how it was meant.
An Indi
May 09, 2013 07:53pm
"a war, one must remember, in which the US did not help Pakistan during and which India claimed it won." Unfortunately General Niazi who was also POW, is not alive today otherwise General would have told the truth of who surrendered in the war and who released 45000 POWs in the meeting at Ramna Race Course in Dhaka on 16 December 1971. Real history...or real joke???
shabbzz
May 09, 2013 11:52am
Rehnay ko ghar nahi hai ... sara jahan hamara !!! simply awesome !!!!
saqib
May 09, 2013 11:59am
Paracha, you should start writing stage dramas; you are good at it.
Mahendra
May 09, 2013 02:46pm
Did I read as China left Pakistan in (chicken)soup when they needed Chinese help the most... i.e. during 1971 war with India and recent floods when every one else helped Pakistan generously... I may be wrong in interpretation though...
Rizwan Rana
May 09, 2013 12:09pm
should have called your article "just give them soup!"
sudipta
May 09, 2013 12:10pm
you could not appreciate the subtle wit and humor of the article
affan
May 09, 2013 12:16pm
Yet the best of Nadeem Paracha
An Indian
May 09, 2013 12:20pm
Hilarious !!!!! and I like the line “ reahane ko ghra nahi , sara jahaa hamara” .. simply superb sir!
Khurram
May 09, 2013 12:22pm
Every country keep their national interests supreme. We in Pakistan keep our personal interests and then the interests of other countries supreme over our national interests. Pakistan has served China well over the years buying their junk, actually our politicians and bureaucrats have served themselves well buying the Chinese junk. Substandard railway engines and bogies is a good example. A few years ago I read the news of a high level meeting about power shortage in Pakistan, the decision was to buy 25 nuclear power stations from China. Then I read a news item in a Canadian paper that China wants to buy Canadian CANDU brand nuclear reactors, meaning they don't even have their nuclear technology developed, how can they sell it to us. Our turkey brains people who are in-charge of making high level decisions do not have a clue that the most expensive way to produce electricity is by nuclear, and the cheapest after hydro is by coal. Coal which Pakistan has in abundance. In Sandak, Chinese have the permits to blast the rocks and they haul it to China, for who knows what kind of mineral. The bottom line is that no friendship or interest is supreme than the national interests of a country, and we do not realize that when dealing with Chinese.
Shuja
May 09, 2013 12:31pm
I like paracha's satire though i disagree with his point of view
dgoy
May 09, 2013 12:39pm
Mr Paracha This was not one of your best. I hope that next one is better.
Irrfaan Akhtaar
May 09, 2013 12:41pm
why should he care about india?
Aanand
May 09, 2013 12:44pm
Its called sarcasm.
dsp
May 09, 2013 12:46pm
this is not this authors line it belongs to some legendary person guess who???????
sanjay mittal
May 09, 2013 12:55pm
As always real history of the world which is hidden behind official history!
khalid
May 09, 2013 01:03pm
:D ..
v
May 09, 2013 01:40pm
Mr. NFP, you give your audience too much credit.
Lakhkar Khan
May 09, 2013 01:49pm
The great Pakistani poet Alama Iqbal?
Guest
May 09, 2013 01:53pm
In the first place, I totally agree with you. In present world, their is no friendship without buisness interest. Why would China be friends without gaining something out of it.
John
May 09, 2013 01:59pm
Never trust the Chinese.
HNY2013
May 09, 2013 02:03pm
really? so u do admit making friends with a non-muslims is good. So why the hatred against other kafirs?
HNY2013
May 09, 2013 02:08pm
Dosti badnaam hui, Chicken soup tere liyye! Awesome satire NFP....lagey raho
HNY2013
May 09, 2013 02:10pm
bhai serious hi ho gaye ap to! Chill sir ji ....even if China has vested interest so does pakistan in maintaining a friendly relation with china ....isnt it? Har ek dost kamina hota hai......:)
HNY2013
May 09, 2013 02:11pm
Halal or .....? just kidding
asghar
May 09, 2013 02:12pm
most of the world does; and in a good way if i may add..
gopal
May 10, 2013 11:37am
you need to be practical. There is no permanent friendship between nations, just permanent interest.
NFP wang woye wang woye
May 09, 2013 02:36pm
The pleasure of getting high with NFPs articles is awesome. Special advice to people with low iq on satires to stay away.
Imran Haider
May 10, 2013 05:01am
@NFP, where is thy sting?
rama
May 10, 2013 05:17am
Dude have you ever read a satire before??
Human
May 10, 2013 05:29am
Anyone's line but sutis amazingly well to North Korea who keeps on believing."saara jahan" north korea ka.
ds
May 10, 2013 05:47am
There is no need to claim bomb-areas!
Devil
May 10, 2013 06:09am
Pak-Cheen dosti wang woye, wang woye, wang woye, wang woye !!!
Nauman
May 10, 2013 06:09am
Whether you are in Dearborn or now moved to Toronto, one can still buy Chinese products in both places.
Devil
May 10, 2013 06:10am
wang woye
Devil
May 10, 2013 06:12am
so ... do you also believe that Prem Chopra was India premier ?
roshan
May 10, 2013 06:13am
Great talk brother
roshan
May 10, 2013 06:17am
well said bhai jan
vjaiswal35
May 10, 2013 06:20am
Hello Paracha Saheb, Bahut acche sach bole to "paisa wasool hundred times" Great bhaijaan keep waiting to read you. Just great. Salaam.
vvd
May 10, 2013 06:29am
Man, you are first rate. Pakistanis should realize that the Chinese are prudent people who know how to guard their self interest.They are not emotional & foolish & unlike Pakistanis know how to guard their future.
Dixit
May 10, 2013 06:35am
Yes.... Iqbal..... who wrote Saare Jahaan Se Achcha Hindostan Hamara...
P,Mishra
May 10, 2013 06:43am
Our great leader , Late J.L. Nehru trusted Mao Se Tung and rest is history.Pakistan will meet same fate soner OR later.
P,Mishra
May 10, 2013 06:52am
This is a satire not a history lession. Pleas do not go deep. You and me know what happened.
JV
May 10, 2013 07:05am
Excellent article. Had a good laugh. Nice work
murali
May 10, 2013 07:20am
Its a satire.. If you haven't read NFP before, better start now. He is one of the best we have.
C
May 10, 2013 07:23am
Well... it would be interesting to see what China does in case it needs to take sides in a Indo-Pak conflict today... need not necessarily be a war but any conflict.... India is a much bigger market for Chinese products.. a more secure place for investments (even if it is routed through Hong Kong & Singapore).. a tough call but I think I know what China would do.
Raj Hukkoo
May 10, 2013 08:01am
It is time we redefined South Asia and acted to make it a reality. The new South Asia will include: Tibet, Nepal, Bhutan, Myanmar (Burma), Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Maldives, Mauritius, Afghanistan, Pakistan and India. This federation will have a common defense organization and will act to end the illegal occupation of Tibet by China. South Asia with over 1.5 billion people will be the next superpower, mightier than the USA.
Pushkar
May 10, 2013 08:03am
Dear NFP, once again gr8 article. be a writer of a film.. I know you already are famous. But this would add one more feather in your cap. Keep it up.
MOTIRAM LALWANI
May 10, 2013 08:04am
WELL DONE NADEEM PARACHA WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SATIRE VERY VERY HUMOUROUS. KEEP IT UP. IT MAKES OUR DAY IN THIS GLOOMY UNPREDICTABLE WORLD.
Krish Chennai
May 10, 2013 08:23am
Wow, Ronald Claude van Damme. How could you ignore Sylvester Stallone, Arnie Shwarzenegger ?
Haider
May 10, 2013 08:37am
Keep your suggestions to yourself.
Devil
May 10, 2013 08:44am
Navjot Singh Sidhu .. he is quite funny ! ain't he .. ;-) People of South Asia have this habit of praising someone to such an extent that it sounds like obsequiousness.
Raj Hukkoo
May 10, 2013 09:45am
I hope you accept that it is a Great Idea. Within the federation individual states should be allowed to secede. Jammu and Kashmir should be allowed to become a secular country independent of both India and Pakistan. There will be a common army, free movement between all members, just like EU and eventually a common currency. Federal government will have limited powers but have monopoly over defense.
Alan
May 10, 2013 10:14am
why did he use india in his article say a zillion time?
Ahsen
May 10, 2013 11:28am
So will india , with the second highest population you are going to outrun china in 2014 , i wonder what your fate would be , maybe you need to worry about that more rather than Pakistan ;) Cherio
a-jay
May 10, 2013 11:46am
The article starts "When I was a kid in the 1970s". who says you have grown up, you are still a kid.
shera
May 10, 2013 12:47pm
NFP ... super hilarious ...u r one the best satirist the world has ever produced ... keep it up...
shera
May 10, 2013 12:51pm
NFP is good no doubt...we have many like him ... like Khalid mohammed n many regional satirists who write in non-english media n print media....
Balach Tahir Baluch
May 10, 2013 02:52pm
I stopped frequenting Dawn News a year ago, and today, as the elections approach, I decided to re-visit to see what the paper had to report. The only reason I respect Dawn, and will continue to, is because my Founder, Quaid-e-Azam, has a photo with him reading it. Anyway, I kind of just remembered why I stopped reading it. Pseudo-intellectuals like NFP write in this paper, and they write utter nonsense. I understand satire, I am a Foreign Service student who just graduated from Georgetown, so it's not that I can't understand satirical pieces, but NFP is just utter garbage, and all those praising him are pseudo-intellectuals.
Devil
May 10, 2013 04:00pm
because he uses carefree ;-) style of writing ....
Pavas Ambashta
May 10, 2013 04:49pm
Hey, Please dont mind but I am really fed up with the word "Superpower"..Why cant we Just try to be a socially, economically and politically advanced country which provide quality life and security with equality to all its citizen?? One need not be militarily superpower to protect its interest..
indian nari
May 10, 2013 05:24pm
Disgusting shameless line of thought.
IndianM
May 10, 2013 07:53pm
We have much & don't forget the humor you are talking about is being drained 60 year back from india.
TrollyMcTrollton
May 10, 2013 11:54pm
And whose fault is that?
Rafiq Ahmed
May 11, 2013 12:07am
Pointless self deprecating sarcasm.
zia khan
May 11, 2013 12:25am
Well you should also consider Chinese trade passing through Pakistan and that friendship between Pakistan and China will not be influenced by Chinese trade with India or any other country.
Nazim
May 11, 2013 12:49am
Nadeem F Pracha, a similar article on India Pakistan history please.
Parag Shripad
May 11, 2013 04:34am
I dont think this is feasible at least in the current situation. India will go back decades if that happens. Pakistanis has damaged their nation to the core. Uprooting that fundamentalism from pakistan will take good amount sincere efforts from pakistani people and that won't happen in near future. I think what India should do is shore up her defenses and keep working hard towards progress as she is doing now. Giving good quality life and social security to our citizens should be our vision rather than indulging in the meaningless rat race for super power. I think we all can co-exist with better life if try to delete that religious fundamentalism, hatred towards each other and develop trust.
Arthemis
May 11, 2013 04:34am
HAHAHAHAHA.... the way you express PAK CHINA relation that is amazing, marvellous, fantabulous. i have no words to say. But pakistani's are not going to learn any lesson from all these.
Lion King
May 11, 2013 05:30am
former Indian should not bother about present India anymore.....
Raj Hukkoo
May 11, 2013 05:57am
Superpower does not have to be limited to superpower in military terms. It can also mean superiority in economic terms.
KhanChangezKhan
May 11, 2013 06:27am
India never let it be because they want to be a leader of South Asian States! We never accept the supremacy of India to their neighbors. Equality is the only answer for friendship!
akhter husain
May 11, 2013 07:26am
You are right Mr Sharma though your government tried to be smart which they were not.
akhter husain
May 11, 2013 07:29am
It was a good reading Mr Paracha ,but difficult to understand the message.