Pakistan’s New Media Dictionary

Published Dec 17, 2009 01:42pm

Advertising: A very important phenomenon in the Pakistani electronic media, where little, irritating films about fairness creams and mobile phone connections become the lifeline of big, irritating seths running really irritating TV channels. Also, the constant source of that wonderfully poignant line, ‘choti si break,’ which, however, may last as long as a military dictatorship in Pakistan.

Asif Ali Zardari: A custom-made punching bag with prominent teeth for talk show hosts to practice their jihadi judo chops and passionate, ‘anti-corruption’ missionary positions on.

Aamir Liaquat: Name of a special Pilgrimage Package offered by Peo Travels (Pvt.) Ltd. to specifically attract fitnahs to go for Haj and get God’s approval of their meaningful hatred of sub-humans (such as Jews, Ahmadiyyas, Hindus, liberals and swine flu carriers). Also the name of a hyperbolic over-actor masquerading as a ‘religious scholar’ on a TV drama masquerading as a ‘religious advice show’ on a gossip channel masquerading as a ‘news channel.’

Aishwarya Rai: Famous Indian tree-hugger (especially on mangals), who is also a favourite of rabid anti-Hindu Pakistanis who will let her go (along with her tree, but not her husband), when they conquer India during the Ghazwa-ul-Hind in 2012 AD and slaughter all the Hindus of the world with their nuclear-powered laser-swords and bad TV shows, such as Muhammad Bin Iqbal Saladin Qasim Ka Pakistan.

Aaj TV: A TV channel you’d rather leave for kal (as in yesterday).

Aag TV: The favourite music channel of freckled, teenaged fascists.

ARY News: A TV channel set up by jewellers. Get the picture?

Bobby Master: Some guy who serves tea at a famous Pakistani TV channel. Most probably the most intelligent fellow there.

Conspiracy Theory: A theory that is not a theory at all but a hard fact on Pakistani TV channels. Anyone disagreeing with the hard and loud factoids (conspiratorially called conspiracy theorists), is a Mossad/CIA/RAW/NASA/KFC agent and a possible swine flu carrier who would be lined up against the walls of Delhi’s Red Fort and shot dead during the Ghazwa-ul-Hind in 2012 AD.

Dr. Danish: A dentist. Duniya TV: A channel on which Sohail Warraich tries to be funny, and Najam Sethi, serious.

Dawn.Com: A place where tiny worthless dots gather at dawn to receive handouts from the many myriad enemies of Pakistan –  such as, Indians, Americans, Israelites and Tellytubbies – so that they can use cyberspace to spread their anti-Islam, anti-Pakistan, anti-Shan propaganda through anti-Islam, anti-Pakistan, anti-Tigar Balm writers, columnists, subeditors, reporters, accountants, tea boys and gymnasts. Just what this article is doing on this site, I have no idea. All I know is it’s a conspiracy because Rana Naveedul Hassan said so.

DawnNews: A groovy hang out where pleasant young men and women practice and sharpen their newly acquired American accents by toning their frequently mobile jaws. Here, cops become ‘caaps,’ jobs become ‘jaabs,’ Pakistan becomes ‘Pai-khis-tan,’ and Karachi becomes LA.

Dr. Shahid Masood: A TV hakeem famous for his tangy concoctions and cocktails made from the equally famous witch-doctor Harun Yahya’s recipes of Vulcan stew, Martian soup, and other out-of-space (and out-of-mind) delicacies. If you look closely, you will notice that the good doctor also has a moustache, which many believe was gifted to him by Hamid Gul on his second birthday in 377 BC, during the first Ghazwa-ul-Hind.

Eeeeek! A common female vocal response after watching Dr. Masood’s moustache fall every time someone mentions ‘PTV’ or something about him having a Canadian passport. ‘Me? No. (Plop!) Oops.’ ‘Eeeek ...!’

Express News: An express-ion connoting something half-baked, done in a hurry. Example: ‘All pace and no substance makes Jack an Express News.’

Geo TV: A Mongolian TV brand that can be watched on horseback while triumphantly marching into Hindustan during the Ghazwa-ul-Hind, Holi,Dewali, and Filmfare Awards. Shows programs hosted by hard, loud factoids bred on prime Vulcan stew and Hilal ki Ding Dong Bubblegum.

Ghazwa-ul-Hind: A forthcoming Lollywood science-fiction blockbuster directed by Zaid Hamid, produced by Dr. Shahid Masood, and staring Maria B., Ali Azmat, Hamid Gul, Irfan Siddiqui, and Yoda.

Hamid Mir: A wrestler.

Hamid Gul: The guy who gave Shahid Masood his moustache and the man Masood hasn’t stopped thanking. ‘Thank you, Hamid Gul sahib, for coming on the show…’ ‘Thank you, Hamid Gul sahib, for coming on the show…’ ‘Thank you, Hamid Gul sahib, for coming on the show…’ ‘Thank you, Hamid Gul sahib, for coming on the show…’ Why can’t his show just be called The Gul-Masood Show? Indus News: A news channels watched on the banks of the River Indus. By fish.

Iqbal Ka Pakistan: The show that makes the great allama roll in his grave each week.

Imran Khan: A man who still thinks the Taliban is a brand name for a series of chubby, cuddly teddy bears.

Kashif Abbasi: A TV anchor whose eyes turned green after he’s had a bit too much of Dr. Masood's Vulcan stew.

Kamran Khan: A very dry man.

Maria B. A fashion designer who is a fan of Zaid Hamid and thus keeps getting a ‘C’ in politics. She should actually be called Maria C., or Maria Z. Or better, Maria GHB (Maria Ghuzwa-ul-Hind B). Munawar Hussain: A guy who believes the Taliban are bigger than Elvis.

Mushtaq Minhas: A very strange man.

Nusrat Javed: Another very strange man.

Nadeem F. Paracha: An abomination brought to life by the Elders of Zion and the illuminati to misguide innocent young Pakistani patriots and mohib-e-watan-Ghazwa-ul-Hind warriors with the help of CIA money, NASA spacesuits, and KFC Zinger Burgers. Most probably has ancient Dravidian Hindu blood running in his veins and is certainly out to destroy the super-duper Muslim master-race.

Nadia Khan: A woman who grew up watching too many Hasina Moin plays.

Nawaz Sharif: The ‘N’ in PML-N, some of whose starlets are still trying to put an ‘N’ in the Tehrik-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) as well. Example: PTT-N. Likely to be disappointed. PTV: The channel only Rehman Malik and Bilawal Bhutto watch.

Qazi Hussain Ahmed: A very old man.

Taliban: Very hairy people who, in spite of being extremely obvious and ubiquitous, are still treated as ghosts by many TV hosts and their guests. They’d rather believe Elvis is alive than agree that it is the Taliban who are blowing themselves up in markets and mosques every now and then. Example: News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast. Host: Who are these men? News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast. Host: Who can these terrorists be? News Item: TALIBAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PINDI MOSQUE BLAST!!! Host: Who can do such a thing? Is it the Indians? Israel? CIA? Elvis?

Zaid Hamid: A fast-talking rap artiste who stole Ali Azmat’s soul (and guitar), and turned Aag TV into the official Ghazwa-ul-Hind music channel. His biggest hits are ‘Let’s march on Delhi, y’all!’ ‘Hindus are insects, y’all,’ ‘I love wars, y’all,’ ‘M. B. Qasim is ma man, y’all,’ ‘So is Maria B, y’all,’ ‘Even though she’s a woman, y’all.’ Recently, Zaid also claimed that Ali Azmat’s tind is a UFO landing site. Ali was thrilled.

nadeem_80x80
Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


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Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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Comments (341) Closed




Saad Usmani
Jan 23, 2010 07:11am
Excellent dictionary.
Imran
Feb 05, 2010 12:11pm
This is hilarious! rofl@Yoda "Ghazwa-ul-Hind: A forthcoming Lollywood science-fiction blockbuster directed by Zaid Hamid, produced by Dr. Shahid Masood, and staring Maria B., Ali Azmat, Hamid Gul, Irfan Siddiqui, and Yoda."
Aiya
Jan 22, 2010 03:23pm
TOTALLLY AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
S. A. M.
Dec 17, 2009 01:52pm
Its fun to read it but I must say that your definition of Shahid Masood was better before for in one of your article you had named him A Male Nurse. That really suits him.
Zarah Danyal
Dec 17, 2009 09:01am
ha ha ha. Top shot again, NFP. Loved each one of them. But this one takes the cake: "Recently Zaid claimed that Ali Azmat's tind is a UFO landind site. :D
Farrukh hanif Awan
Dec 17, 2009 09:09am
This is awesome! Well written. After a long time you have finally delivered a piece which is very very funny. I loved the last part of zaid hamid and his soon to be launched attack on india!
RJ
Dec 17, 2009 09:11am
Amazing work Nadeem !
Kiran
Dec 17, 2009 09:13am
One sane brain! Good piece.
Dalbir
Dec 17, 2009 09:14am
I wonder why Ali Azmat has turned this way. Most of his songs were hit in 2000-2005 period in India & he seemed to be enjoying all the attention during his Sayonee period in India. This GHAZWA-UL-HIND thing is to good. Hope it does not go into head of too many Pakistan folks. These guys like Ali Azmat, Zaid Hamid are doing a great disservice to innocent Pakistani minds by their outlook & ideology. People like NFP, Kamraan Shafi , Irfan Husain are the REAL HEROES , hope more & more Pakistanis listen to them .
Salman Javaid
Dec 17, 2009 09:14am
LMAO @ Zaid Hamid's tind. :P
waqas
Dec 17, 2009 09:16am
Begam Nawazish ALi: The only Indian woman in Pakistan. WAQT News: A channel that only tells time. Express News: The source of railway schedule in Pakistan. Talat Hussain: A man who only speaks the truth in Pakistani media. Altaf Hussain: 1st live broadcaster of Pakistan.
Natasha
Dec 17, 2009 09:21am
Over-exaggerated.
umair
Dec 17, 2009 09:26am
The problem with Nadeem is that he's obsessed about other people's negativity while thinking he's the only patriot. Zaid Hamid sahab, I agree he has negativity like talking fast but look at the positive side: He's being emotional cause it
Ali Raza
Dec 17, 2009 09:28am
Hilarious!
Kashan Ahmed
Dec 17, 2009 09:38am
Nadeem F. Paracha doesn't even deserve to be here.. but I liked the definition for Aamir liaquat hussain and Ptv (a channel only watched by Rehman Malik and Bilawal Zardarii)..lol!
pakka papi
Dec 17, 2009 09:53am
This was shocking, I first cried and then laughed and then I gave up. I think it
lucky
Dec 17, 2009 09:53am
Paracha I think you need some fresh air to breath. Better go for an holiday.
Komal
Dec 17, 2009 01:36pm
Wow! What tremendous critic, Paracha!
Shehrum
Dec 17, 2009 09:58am
Seems like the writer is running out of Subject Matter to talk about, gone are the days when he use to write about Pakistan's music in "MAG" something worth reading in that age and time and now to this stage. Coming to this point I must say is the work of too many joints and too many attempts to be "Cool" in reality "Over cool".
Ashok
Dec 17, 2009 01:25pm
very truthful! hats off from an indian
rakesh
Dec 17, 2009 10:03am
Dear NFP, In jest you have spoken a lot. Quite perplexing. A lot of Indians do read Dawn News Blog for a simple reason- It has made a lot of us change our perception on Pakistan.
Hunain Shahid
Dec 17, 2009 10:05am
N.F.P is an absolutely insecure and a senseless guy who can do anything for cheap publicity.
Gul Bukhari
Dec 17, 2009 10:07am
Hilarious.
Amna
Dec 17, 2009 10:07am
I've never seen a more accurate dictionary. You forgot to mention Allama JJ.
Reasoner
Dec 17, 2009 10:07am
"""Recently, Zaid also claimed that Ali Azmat
Sengathir Selvan
Dec 17, 2009 10:14am
A news channels watched on the banks of the River Indus. By fish. ///// Hehehehehehehe... :D
hari
Dec 17, 2009 10:14am
Hi! I'm your fan and like reading your witty notes. How do you get the ideas? Ha Ha!!
Soumitra Kandpal
Dec 17, 2009 01:10pm
Lol. You made my day!! Keep up the good work.
Tanzeel
Dec 17, 2009 10:17am
LMAO, very interesting - specially about Shahid Masood, DAWN TV and the wrestler!
I E
Dec 17, 2009 10:17am
Hilarious :)
Fahad
Dec 17, 2009 10:18am
Showed your class yet again :)
shiva
Dec 17, 2009 10:20am
Very good insight into pakistan! he! he!
M Akhtar
Dec 17, 2009 10:24am
Very Very Interested mention high
Rajat
Dec 17, 2009 10:26am
Ohh, Hilarious Kudos to NFP
Rizwan
Dec 17, 2009 01:07pm
Mr Paracha, you do live up to your title (of a critic).
Osama
Dec 17, 2009 10:26am
Hey NFP. Your bad at being funny, you keep on repeating the same things over and over again and the depressing themes of your articles indicate your own frame of mind.
Ali
Dec 17, 2009 10:34am
"Mossad/CIA/RAW/NASA/KFC agent" dear God does this get any better or what!? Thumbs up as always NFP!
TEE BEE
Dec 17, 2009 10:40am
Dude NFP have you done anything in your life besides criticizing. Each and every piece of your writing has 'Criticism'. And what has Zaid Hamid done to you? Why are you so much after him? Let people do what they are doing.
Hassan
Dec 17, 2009 01:06pm
Well the article is more of "ANTI ZAID HAMID" rather than comic due to the involvement of the fact "Ghazwa e Hind" time and time again. Nadeem got some really articles back there. You got some personal grudges with Zaid Hamid. A whole article on him, not even on Asif zardari :p
kara
Dec 17, 2009 10:45am
I just waste my time and still wasting by posting my comments on this senseless and stupid article by an equally senseless or should I say hopeless MR. NADEEM F.PARACHA. :-s
Xaeem
Dec 17, 2009 10:48am
Oh wait! Fantastic piece NFP. Sheer brilliance!
Ahmed
Dec 17, 2009 10:50am
Nadeem, each and everyone of these are hilarious and informative in the true sense of the word.
Indian
Dec 17, 2009 10:53am
totally hilarious , thanks Paracha.
AamirRaz
Dec 17, 2009 10:53am
On of my favs. Taliban: Very hairy people who, in spite of being extremely obvious and ubiquitous, are still treated as ghosts by many TV hosts and their guests. They
waqas paracha
Dec 17, 2009 10:55am
What do I say. Speechless..
Sarfraz
Dec 17, 2009 10:58am
Nice article,LOL. Keep the good work specially your comment on Zaid Hamid.
noor
Dec 17, 2009 11:01am
Hilarious! Very funny and sadly true in many ways. Love the explanation of Taliban.
Rimli
Dec 17, 2009 11:04am
Nadeem, Bravo! Can we have a few million of you? Ok, a few hundred will do. Rimli
Jawed
Dec 17, 2009 11:04am
Another excellent piece of article that opens eyes wide; thought provoking.
Faisal
Dec 17, 2009 11:06am
"passionate,
OI
Dec 17, 2009 12:56pm
Fun read! Despite the sarcasm every description is extremely accurate as well somehow.. Brilliant!
Y Khan
Dec 17, 2009 12:57pm
Very enjoyable. You can be hilarious. Bravo
krishnan,India
Dec 17, 2009 11:11am
Man you have done it this time. Waiting for the verbal burst (hope you do not meet the fate of Kamran when it went beyond verbal) from Zaid fans. Humor in these polluted days is always welcome -especially if it is farcical
Magans
Dec 17, 2009 11:15am
It was a typical NFP satire. But I am afraid you are loosing the battle dude. These conspiracy theorist with their Masala theories are entertaining Pakistanis more than your truth laden humorous satires. Any ways keep up the GREAT job without worrying about the final outcome. God be with you in this endeavor.
Sunil Gautam
Dec 17, 2009 11:15am
Though I missed out on some of the local jokes, but you are a star Nadeem. May the force (and in some cases, the farce) be with you.
Arshad Mughal
Dec 17, 2009 11:16am
A wonderful Blog, mirroring today's Pakistani media's real face.
illusion
Dec 17, 2009 11:16am
Simply Brilliant. Very well done Nadeem Paracha.
sajjad
Dec 17, 2009 11:21am
Here, cops become
Mahwish
Dec 17, 2009 11:26am
Haha. The funniest part is the definition of "Nadeem f. Paracha";) But Paracha you seem so much obsessed and horrified by PTT and Zaid Hamid.
TV Man
Dec 17, 2009 11:33am
[[Conspiracy Theory: A theory that is not a theory at all but a hard fact on Pakistani TV channels.]] Bulls-eye!!
Hamza Farooq
Dec 17, 2009 11:34am
Loved it , the fantastic blend of a blur honesty and a good sense of humor.
tajwali
Dec 17, 2009 11:35am
Very well done. Keep the fire going.
Haris
Dec 17, 2009 11:36am
Nice article
Parus
Dec 17, 2009 11:44am
Awesome depiction! NFP always do justice to his writings. Great work.
Absar
Dec 17, 2009 11:51am
Not something worthy to read. "The show that makes the great Allama roll in his grave each week." Sheer irregularity from top to bottom of this write up!
Usman Bashir
Dec 17, 2009 12:22pm
What should I say about this article, although it seems every one has their own opinions but being writer so many responsibilities come upon us. Therefore, even as blog writer we have responsibility to think and weight what I am speaking is aligned with my actions. Actually we some time do the same mistake when trying to mock others. Why we always goes on peaks. I love dawn because I think they have kind of balanced view but looking at this article and mentioned views I believe this is other side of story. I wish we Pakistani start living in the world where other side of story is also acceptable rather than just branding them conical.
Ameer Hamza
Dec 17, 2009 12:21pm
As always, a classic piece of writing. thank you for sharing.
Zain A Ansari
Dec 17, 2009 12:02pm
Amazing!!!! Can
seeker
Dec 17, 2009 12:20pm
You might not agree with NFP, but you can't deny that he is hilarious. This article yet again is characteristic of the wit, humor and satire we have come to associate with NFP. Importantly, there is a very strong in-your-face message in between all the comedy.
Indiansawaal
Dec 17, 2009 12:43pm
Awesomely written. This is seriously funny..
Faheem
Dec 17, 2009 01:13pm
Quite selective in your satire. Quite harsh on Zaid and very soft for Kamran Khan. On the whole it is a good effort. However, you revealed your camp by talking about Allama Iqbal in such a way and mentioning Ghazwa-e-Hind too often.
Bilal Munir
Dec 17, 2009 01:20pm
Awesome.. and btw about Duniya TV.. he is Sohail Ahmed.. Sohail Warraich is on GEO..
S. A. M.
Dec 17, 2009 01:55pm
About Amir Liaquat Hussain : The pakistani version of shah rukh khan. I have noticed many times that the way he is acting is very similar to the acting, postures etc etc of the famous indian actor.
Adnan Khan
Dec 17, 2009 02:07pm
Simply put, 'Awesome' piece of work
Ali Ahsan
Dec 17, 2009 02:07pm
NFP, you forgot to mention Zaid Hamid's 'laal topi' being part of the official Ghazwa-ul-Hind merchandise sales on both AAG TV and Nadia Khan Show.
Raghu
Dec 17, 2009 02:08pm
Dude, it's Cool :) :)
Changezi
Dec 17, 2009 02:16pm
You made my day! Bravo NFP
ashutosh
Dec 17, 2009 02:30pm
Hey! what's the meaning of ghazwa & fitna? please let me know. just a curiosity. regards.
Ziad
Dec 17, 2009 02:32pm
Lovely. Witty to the core, except for nadeem's description of himself, which is self-flattering.
Saahil Malik
Dec 17, 2009 02:32pm
Nothing positive here, just more hate and more mocking of Pakistan and its media. Maybe the most accurate part of this blog is your description of yourself.
Suresh
Dec 18, 2009 11:17am
NFP: The article is nothing but childish sarcasm & like all NFP articles lack depth. Being more analytical & neutral in your approach could make you write better!
Sajjad
Dec 17, 2009 03:04pm
NFP, in all honesty, your humor and satire is not as good as your serious stuff. And even your serious stuff is a hit or miss most of the time.
Laika
Dec 18, 2009 10:53am
Awesome.... :) good shot
Talha Arif
Dec 17, 2009 03:12pm
NFP!!!! you have a great skill of communicating messages in such an incredible style..!! hats off to you!!!!
Natasha
Dec 17, 2009 03:17pm
Monotonous, Unfunny, Dramatized. A failed attempt at comical satire.
NaveedAli
Dec 17, 2009 03:26pm
LOL. Though I am not a fan of yours. But impressed the way you defined yourself. Thumbs up.
Jey
Dec 17, 2009 03:27pm
KABOOM!!!! NFP is hilarious. No one in Pakistan can fill in his shoes in writing funny and at the same time provoke thought. I like this piece a lot: Taliban: Very hairy people who, in spite of being extremely obvious and ubiquitous, are still treated as ghosts by many TV hosts and their guests. They
hisham
Dec 17, 2009 03:33pm
kamal!!!!!
Imran Bhatt
Dec 17, 2009 03:38pm
Great piece. Thoroughly enjoyed it.
Ayesha
Dec 17, 2009 03:41pm
Superb! Hilarious! Fabulous! I just can't stop laughing! :D
Jaydev
Dec 17, 2009 03:48pm
Ha Ha.. I liked the News channel's host asking repeatedly "who are they " part..
Faisal
Dec 17, 2009 03:55pm
Classic Piece of writing, NFP you never cease to amaze me, just when I think you can't do better then this, you prove me wrong you are the best.
zahid
Dec 18, 2009 10:51am
Very interesting writing that explicates the reality. At least these definitions are not based on any conspiracy theory and does not come from pseudo analysts of TV channels. So we should trust them. However, I wonder either these can pass Zaid
Firoz Ali
Dec 17, 2009 03:58pm
LOL, hilarious still sensible peace. Great work NFP. Keep writing. Can't wait for more of such writings. NFP rocks.
kammi kameen
Dec 17, 2009 04:05pm
Would have loved reading this around a year ago. Now it's just too much repetition. Come up with new material man.
Raghu
Dec 17, 2009 04:14pm
NFP you rock!!! lol. Just can't stop lauging. Keep the good writing up. Man kudos to you for having the courage to call a spade a spade
Omer Qureshi
Dec 17, 2009 04:16pm
Very interesting. Right about Imran, he seems oblivious to ground realities now and still keeps on saying "I told you so" NFP, 100 marks to you for this brave effort, ignore the negative comments, you made a lot of us laugh while we shed tears for our beloved land.
greaterparacha
Dec 17, 2009 04:30pm
Sire! your best ever! the only disappointment is that you left out Altaf Bhai. I wonder why?
rehman
Dec 17, 2009 04:31pm
UFO landing site hahaha. This is hilarious your imagination is out of this world. You are just awesome.
Abdul Rahman
Dec 17, 2009 05:11pm
Emotional, and words nearly got out of control. Unlike original NFP.
Amit
Dec 17, 2009 05:21pm
Well done!!!. Funny although I only know couple of names that you mentioned in whole article.
Saleha
Dec 17, 2009 05:28pm
You missed out Talat Hussain!
Ashish
Dec 17, 2009 05:40pm
You cant get better than this. Awesome.
KKNIAZI
Dec 17, 2009 05:56pm
Can NFP say anything without mentioning Zaid Hamid since the talk show embarrassment of NFP? Cheers, Kaleem
Noor Ahmed
Dec 17, 2009 05:57pm
Brothers, I noticed that this article is more stressed on the character of Zaid Hamid, there are at least 6 sub headings in this article regarding Zaid Hamid. So far I know that Mr Zaid hamid used to be a accommodative approacher, but amazingly Nadeem bhai has grabbed a proactive instance regardless what Mr Zaid Hamid is doing. So my brothers and sisters It's very good to hear that Nadeem bhai is going more faster than Mr Zaid Hamid
Atab Kenneth Wilson
Dec 17, 2009 06:22pm
I was reading your column alone in my room and during this process I was laughing unstopped and in a very loud way, all of a sudden my children gathered around me and thought perhaps our Dad has gone out of his mind but when they saw and read what I was going through, they started laughing louder than myself. Well NFP, I have always admired what ever you pen down. Today I was too much disturbed due to the verdict given by our 17 SC Judges, but your column proved to be medicine of relief for me. Keep it up and May God Bless You.
kets999
Dec 18, 2009 10:10am
As usual you rock. Even once if anyone reads your article, he will keep coming back to again and again to Dawn. I had no idea that I will be regular reader of Dawn earlier. Being Indian from western country, I used to read only Indian papers now I first search for your article and then go to Indian sites. I wish you were in India and written some satire on Indian politicians, Hindi movies and TV Channels. Wish you lots of success every time.
Sohaib
Dec 17, 2009 07:14pm
I think he meant Sohail Ahmed, not Sohail Warraich. Sohail Ahmed tries to be funny on Dunya News every day, during Hasb-e-haal. Rookie mistake by Mr. Paracha. Highly disappointing.
atif
Dec 17, 2009 07:23pm
Awesome !!! Love every one of them.
Schazad
Dec 17, 2009 07:24pm
I love the rap. Thanks for standing up against this "Zaid Hamid". I love it.
rehan
Dec 17, 2009 07:24pm
Uncle paracha is so jokey and makes fun all the time.
rajeev
Dec 17, 2009 07:37pm
NFP: What a concise, hilarious and meaningful article! I liked this one where NFP used his own example to convey something.
Anoosh Khan
Dec 17, 2009 07:59pm
I think the times we are going through, we really need satire like this! Keep up the tangy flavor!
Reluctant Fundamentalist
Dec 17, 2009 08:01pm
The article was a half-hearted attempt at humor so I would suggest NFP to please leave the humor to the comedians. I
Ali Zaidi
Dec 17, 2009 08:35pm
Extremely funny but truth to the bottom. I loved every single line of this article. Great Job!!!
saeed
Dec 17, 2009 08:50pm
NFP is a very good analytical writer. In the past, he has done extremely good serious research work. I my humble opinion, he should stick to it.
Saleem B.
Dec 17, 2009 08:55pm
Excellent work! those who are in deep slumber will not wake up...so might as well have a good laugh :)
Kaleem
Dec 17, 2009 09:11pm
Great piece, NFP I had not watched Zaid Hamid before but after reading this blog, I went to youtube and searched for Zaid Hamid and Ghazwa-e-Hind. This guy Zaid Hamid seems to be a losing it totally
Assad
Dec 17, 2009 09:18pm
Absolutely brilliant NFP! that just about made my month....
salman
Dec 17, 2009 09:42pm
This one is soooo brilliant. It is good that you vented out your frustration. Too much anger is not good for your health. I am also impressed that NFP boosts of name calling ability that would make any aunty proud!
H. Zuberi
Dec 17, 2009 10:06pm
Very very nice!! Loved the Ali Azmat ki tind part. seriously!
Mahwish Zeeshan
Dec 18, 2009 10:13am
Well Mr NFP. The article is too good, witty and hilarious.
Rehan
Dec 17, 2009 10:38pm
Mr. Paracha, please keep up the brilliant satire and exposing the conspiracy theorist such as Zaid Hamid.
Muhib
Dec 17, 2009 11:14pm
Said it all about himself... Good!
kat
Dec 17, 2009 11:32pm
This was actually quite funny, you totally made lol. But I would expect more from you than just critiquing Zaid Hamid. You give him way to much publicity! Also, suggest you come up with some solutions to these problems rather than bang on about what's wrong in your country. Please try being more progressive and constructive, cause it seems like you just keep going around in circles with the whole Zaid Hamid nonsense.
Rin
Dec 17, 2009 11:41pm
Haha, brilliant! I salute thee, NFP!
Osama Siddique
Dec 17, 2009 11:46pm
Hilarious
Nadeem Paracha
Dec 17, 2009 11:53pm
Nadeem Paracha, what is it that you don't like about Zaid Hamid? What has he said that is wrong? Come out and openly debate!
Tania Ali
Dec 18, 2009 09:37am
LOLZ!! Funny as hell. NFP's king of social satire. Tons of people read his stuff, but there is no middleground between them. Half of them totally love him, half of them totally hate him. That's the impact NFP has. This man just can't be ignored. More power to you NFP!
Pakistani
Dec 18, 2009 12:04am
Desperate attempt of being funny. Shame on you Paracha, it was more of an abuse than funny and certainly shows your mentality. You have no respect for 'The Great Allama Iqbal' as well, what a pity.
Faisal
Dec 18, 2009 09:32am
Brilliant work dude!
Naseer Qureshi
Dec 18, 2009 12:17am
What nonsense?
Engr. Haji Muhammad
Dec 18, 2009 01:06am
Mr. NFP why you seem to be afraid of Zaid Hamid, why are you targeting him, earlier you wrote a complete column against him. Instead, you should explain your own point of view with logic and reasoning rather try to be funny.
Ishaq
Dec 18, 2009 01:21am
Very funny Nadeem. Long live NFP
Raja Naveed
Dec 18, 2009 01:53am
NFP you have written absolutely correct about yourself.
Mohamed
Dec 18, 2009 01:57am
Hilarious, esp. what Nadeem stands for!
Naveen
Dec 18, 2009 02:05am
What is this Ghazwa-ul-Hind in 2012 AD ? Sounds very interesting for all its relations to the theories on 2012. Can you write one exclusive piece on this . Also waiting a good piece on Jamaat E islami from you
Mohamed
Dec 18, 2009 02:22am
Imran Khan: A man who still thinks the Taliban is a brand name for a series of chubby, cuddly teddy bears.. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
VERY FUNNY
Dec 18, 2009 02:44am
It's all truly defined.
far
Dec 18, 2009 02:46am
I doubt sometimes weather you are a one of us or not. You play a great negative role.
Vijay
Dec 18, 2009 03:03am
LOL. Love you Nadeem. You opened up the world of Zaid Hamid to me. Loads of stuff to watch and enjoy for my holiday season. Am enjoying watching him on you tube.
Bilal Salim
Dec 18, 2009 03:05am
Man this guy is so obsessed with Zaid Hamid!
ashok
Dec 18, 2009 03:13am
I must say Nadeem Paracha is the only Pakistani journalists who has been hosting the flag against failure
Nasser Yousaf
Dec 18, 2009 03:33am
Hahahaha, best humour in these difficult times.
Mahwish Zeeshan
Dec 18, 2009 03:34am
Well Mr. NFP. The article is too good, witty and hilarious. I would request you to write something on the NRO Decision and our president as well.
sumaira
Dec 18, 2009 03:42am
So virtually you hate every one. Can you please tell us what makes you happy?
samyak gowda
Dec 18, 2009 04:00am
News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast. Host: Who are these men? News Item: Taliban take responsibility for Pindi mosque blast. Host: Who can these terrorists be? News Item: TALIBAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR PINDI MOSQUE BLAST!!! Host: Who can do such a thing? Is it the Indians? Israel? CIA? Elvis? I think this part was funny. Better than Paracha's extreme left jaded clich
Ajaya K Dutt
Dec 18, 2009 04:33am
If your message goes through even 10% in Pakistan, then whole Pakistan and India both will flourish with prosperity. Sad state of affairs, that though you are trying to be funny; but as I see it; you are crying for your beloved people.
Junaid
Dec 18, 2009 04:35am
Brilliant!!
sam
Dec 18, 2009 04:45am
I love this man's articles .....
Ahmed
Dec 18, 2009 04:46am
ha ha ha. very funny. ;)
Marvi Sirmed
Dec 18, 2009 04:49am
OMG that's hilarious! NFP at his best. Well, that's my usual response after reading every piece by NFP. Great going man, thumbs up! :)
adeelkunwar
Dec 18, 2009 04:51am
:) Talat Hussain: The only educated anchor. Dawn.TV: The channel representing 1% of our population. Nadeem Farooq Paracha : A strange man, who is the best friend of Zaid Hamid for promoting him. :P
Jehangir
Dec 18, 2009 04:55am
It didnt really impress me any.
mahr
Dec 18, 2009 05:07am
Oh God. Its damn good form of humor in modern days and all your targets do deserve this treatment, particularly Zaid and other T.V anchors.
Rafiq
Dec 18, 2009 09:17am
NFP, hilarious, I had tears in my eyes while reading it, I have turned into a much bigger fan of yours. thanks for letting your pen roll.. Great stuff
Danish
Dec 18, 2009 05:44am
Does anyone know zaid hamid past, it makes a "really" interesting read.
dunmattr
Dec 18, 2009 05:45am
Love the humorous sarcasm.. Was it meant to pinch or used for laughs doesn't really matter :P
asmat jamal
Dec 18, 2009 05:47am
A very well written article. Media is so far putting its corporate interests before every thing else.
Ali
Dec 18, 2009 07:55am
Awesome, My favourite Imarn khan and Taliban.
Rajnish
Dec 18, 2009 06:03am
NFP, Please be considerate on Zaid Hamid. He is our entertainer no.1. Without his conspiracy theories, we will not know what our nation is capable of. Please don't destroy his credibility like this, he may stop getting invited to TV shows. You are outstanding as usual.
khaqan
Dec 18, 2009 06:03am
Great well done keep it up
ZSiddiqui
Dec 18, 2009 06:07am
Hahahaha. Love the social satire.
Tauqir (Cali)
Dec 18, 2009 06:15am
Your the best. thx tq
Salman Salim Rajan
Dec 18, 2009 06:17am
Paracha is tooooo much fun. He defines the atrocities that Pakistan is facing with a touch of hilarity. We need visionaries that ink every bit of seriousness through humor. Salman Rajan
Naushervan
Dec 18, 2009 06:48am
Repetitious and boring! Nothing intelligent/deep in his sarcasm. Just making childish fun of people.
Rajeev
Dec 18, 2009 06:56am
You are simply the best man. I am yet to come acrosss any one better. Thanks for making my day. Regards, One of your most sincere and loyal fan. Rajeev
Faisal
Dec 18, 2009 07:07am
UMAIR "A person who
Murad Akbar
Dec 18, 2009 07:10am
I enjoyed every sentence, a few in particular i.e. Ptv. Cool.
Khaqan Ali Khan
Dec 18, 2009 07:16am
I loved the way you defined yourself, I like your writing but please can we have an article that doesn't mention anything regarding Zaid hamid.
Faisal Khan
Dec 18, 2009 07:17am
He writes mighty good satire, which does not make any sense. !! By the way, Ghuzva is a battle in which the Prophet (PBUH) himself took part. A writer who writes for Dawn should atleast have some basic knowledge of the religion held by 95% of population in the country in which he lives.
Jyoti
Dec 18, 2009 07:19am
ROFL:)
Atif
Dec 18, 2009 07:27am
Good shot man very good shot lol Hilarious
dil aftab khan
Dec 18, 2009 07:34am
I really enjoyed it. Hilarious.
Rahim Zulfiqar Ali
Dec 18, 2009 09:14am
Zabardast !
B Mohan
Dec 18, 2009 09:15am
Nadeem, Your writing style is really GREAT!! I 'discovered' you only a few months ago. You are planting laughter bombs in Dawn! Earlier I used to read blogs of Kamraan Shafi & Irfan Hussain only. Now I started searching for your blogs as well. I am hungry for more from you - keep on feeding me! Best wishes, One of your Indian Fans.
Jamil Ali
Dec 18, 2009 10:22am
This is extremely awesome. Creative writing, Very well done.
Mian Nawaz Sharif
Dec 18, 2009 10:36am
Brilliant work
Mehdi ali frm muscat
Dec 18, 2009 11:37am
Zabardast It's really wonderful...
Rajeev
Dec 18, 2009 11:41am
Ghazwa-ul-Hind!!! LOL!!! Do they really talk in these terms in Pakistan? I am really curious to know. But of course, with people like Zaid Hamid (I've seen him on youtube), anything should be possible.
em.Es
Dec 18, 2009 12:16pm
Hahahha good shot bro. Keep the pen rolling.
Naeem Butt
Dec 18, 2009 11:42am
Extremely funny and true.
Rizwan
Dec 18, 2009 11:51am
Mr. Paracha, I would like to record my strong protest against your article because you forget to mention the name of Ansar Abbasi.
son of Yousuf
Dec 18, 2009 12:20pm
Dear NFP, Please come out of Zaid Hamid nightmare, none of your articles cant go with out his name now. Why are you so obsessed with him? He didn't even mention your name. Come out of that dawn program please. God Bless
Hassan
Dec 18, 2009 01:07pm
I would love to see you on one of the Pakistani TV channels with your own show!
Kaleem.U.Butt
Dec 18, 2009 02:22pm
As a Brit chap would say .Well done, my boy!
verming
Dec 19, 2009 07:17am
yet another masterpiece, but Mr. Nadeem you can't match the comic timing of the legendary Zaid Hamid
Amna
Dec 19, 2009 08:32am
Poor dear! I think too much criticsm of Zaid Hamid, Jamat Islami and The Mullahs have done this to you. Maybe they have cast a spell on you.I hope you get well soon.
Nabeel
Dec 19, 2009 08:53am
Hilarious.
Indigo...
Dec 19, 2009 08:59am
Excellent NFP! Bravo. I can see some Pakistanis still protesting against you. It is very sad state of affairs. But they don't know that yours these sarcastic comments are like a bitter pill for the Pakistani youth which is subjected to by these guys like you mentioned. I guess only DAWN is responsible & worried about well-being of Pakistan. But I have to say it is very disturbing to see the english speaking generation in Pakistan so seriously & curiously listening & inspired by these crackpots. & until unless people like you would not take this fight to their level they can't be defeated. & Pakistan will find itself in more mess in future.
Mini
Dec 18, 2009 03:33pm
Hello NFP, Very good article with the right amount of sarcasm and wit to make your points. Since I read your article "Little Monsters", I have been coming back to look for your blogs. Keep on penning!
Uzair Khan
Dec 18, 2009 03:58pm
Too much childish.
Fatima
Dec 18, 2009 04:54pm
Thumbs up!!
Noor Ahmed Janjhi
Dec 18, 2009 05:04pm
Very nice write up depicting the politico-picture
Desi
Dec 18, 2009 05:12pm
Hilarious!
Desi
Dec 18, 2009 05:15pm
We too have similar people on our country (not as many). We just need more journalists like you! Watch your back though!
Desi
Dec 18, 2009 05:19pm
"Most probably has ancient Dravidian Hindu blood running in his veins and is certainly out to destroy the super-duper Muslim master-race." You are officially my ANNA (brother) now .... ROFL!
Usman Malik
Dec 18, 2009 05:47pm
It shows NFP wish he was in some "dictionary" :)
fan from India
Dec 18, 2009 06:23pm
I never miss reading you, absolutely hilarous. Loved it. Great going.
Indian Manoos
Dec 18, 2009 06:30pm
NFP rules!!!!! We miss some one like him here in India. I urge him to write something on Indians.
Navroze Sandhar
Dec 18, 2009 07:04pm
Nadeem, Great work my man! Hilarious! Your articles are read by a lot of Indians and I think most of us go away with a positive image of Pakistan. A country that has honest journalists like you can surely change for the better.
Pritash Chaudry
Dec 18, 2009 07:44pm
EK NUMBER! I support your stand against Zaid Hamid.
diablo86
Dec 19, 2009 09:31am
I can't find the humor. I mean there is no point in making fun of the unfortunate situation in our country. A society that laughs at itself becomes the laughing stock for the rest of the world. Poorly written Mr. NFP...
Asad
Dec 19, 2009 09:35am
Awesome piece. Love the way you over simplify things :P Imagining you and Zaid Hamid having a conversation cracks me up! :D Again. Brilliant!!
Maryam Khan
Dec 19, 2009 10:00am
Perfect analysis! :)
Sam Mathur
Dec 18, 2009 10:07pm
NFP, Out of this world! Your Pakistani readers appears to be very mature, intelligent and with a great sense of humor. May be through your blog Pakistanis improve their understanding of each other.
AnonymousPakistani
Dec 18, 2009 10:10pm
Did you confuse Sohail Ahmed with Sohail Warraich @ Dunya TV?
Sukhwinder
Dec 18, 2009 10:56pm
Very funny, the best parts were Anyone disagreeing with the hard and loud factoids is a Mossad/CIA/RAW/NASA/KFC agent and Ali Azmat
Shaikh Mehwish
Dec 18, 2009 11:06pm
Looks like NFP is feeling sad these days. Well dear writer you're great and you're playing your part in this country's history. I don
Saptarshi
Dec 18, 2009 11:10pm
Excellent satire once more! Satire is a very effective tool for a reformist in a stifling environment. I have great appreciation for the work you do.
desihungama
Dec 18, 2009 11:36pm
You Rock!!. That was EPIC.
Siddiq Ahmed
Dec 19, 2009 10:53am
Poorly written article as usual! Every time you criticize those whom you don't like and is always harping on the same old things Good comments by MAGSI,
R S JOHAR
Dec 19, 2009 11:41am
Excellent Sir Nadeem, with your permission I may like to add- AJMAL KASAB: An innocent Pakistani non state actor, caught and framed by RAW agents during shooting of a movie 'Ghazwa-Ul-Hind' by Zaid Hamid home productions at CST Mumbai.
Rakesh
Dec 19, 2009 12:15pm
And in a You tube Article the definition of Zaid Hamid is pretty different- Zaid hamid is the most erudite, and knowledgeable security expert to have come out of great land of Pakistan. Atleast he can be lifting our spirits in hard times with his comical one liners. Patrticularly when it comes to GHAZWA UL HIND. Ali Azmat Tind...LOL
Sarmad Palijo
Dec 19, 2009 11:32am
Hilarious. Awesome. MQM is missing though!
Alam
Dec 19, 2009 12:51am
Paracha, you made my day. Felt so relaxed after reading this.
GP65
Dec 19, 2009 01:32am
What about M for the Mullah who comes on TV and says suicide bombing against Pakistanis is haraam (implying that it is jaayaz against others?
shafik
Dec 19, 2009 01:46am
Very brilliant and intelligent.
Saif Khan
Dec 19, 2009 03:00am
One of your very best articles. I'm a fan...
Magsi
Dec 19, 2009 04:20am
Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com. I do not see any seniority and maturity in your article. We people are just born to criticize NFP, people asking for different people you forget to write about I think you only make fun of whom you personally don
Jimshed
Dec 19, 2009 11:37am
More power to you!
Rezwan Khan
Dec 19, 2009 04:42am
samyak gowda
Dec 19, 2009 04:50am
"Ghazwa-ul-Hind" is not a joke. Some people - even educated - in Pakistan have taken it seriously. They flaunt a map which encompasses India/Pakistan/Bangladesh and is painted in green (of course). To others it might sound silly and funny. I don't dismiss it as lightly.
Omar
Dec 19, 2009 05:02am
Hahahahaha, Great Ali Azmat tind and Hilal ke ding dong. Lol you rock my man.
Al
Dec 19, 2009 05:10am
hahahaha, Awesome NFP
mathur
Dec 19, 2009 05:39am
I enjoy reading all your articles. I am very curious to know if you are based in Pakistan, if yes, you should get the highest bravery award.
sam zaid hamid jones
Dec 19, 2009 05:48am
Ghazwa-ul-Hind is here, where is my horse and red cap ;)
Ullas
Dec 19, 2009 06:16am
Yeah that's the way Pakistan. Loosen up. Don't take everything seriously. A society that can laugh at itself is well on it's way to better times.
Kesar
Dec 19, 2009 02:13pm
More power to your pen. Many right thinking Pakistanis cannot disagree with your sentiments. However, after reading some of the comments, it appears that there is still a significantly minority whose heads are firmly stuck in the sand
ranasamir
Dec 19, 2009 04:21pm
OMG there you go again. Bad humor from the great critic! a senior dawn columnist.
Syed Abid Raza Rizvi
Dec 21, 2009 09:47am
lol.... loved the ending 'Recently, Zaid also claimed that Ali Azmat
mansoor
Dec 21, 2009 09:53am
Bulls eye!!! Awesome. Its interesting to see that people support Zaid Hamid :S. I thought only Taliban and ali azmat liked him. :D
John
Dec 21, 2009 11:12am
Just a waste of time and energy.
Mariam
Dec 21, 2009 11:40am
Very well written. You have hit the nail on the head except when it comes to describing yourself! no offense intended but seems like you define yourself in a 'poor me' context.
Farah
Dec 21, 2009 11:46am
I must say the article was a mere useless piece. Just like many other readers commented, nothing original or constructive to offer. Yet, it is ironic to see the comments where most of the Indians love the article and find this line of thought encouraging as against the one that is taken by those trying to propagate the 'ideology' of Pakistan. Sadly, too many of Pakistanis find it funny without much thought!
Haris
Dec 19, 2009 10:07pm
This is hilarious - Very very funny. Thank you for another masterpiece Nadeem. You are a brave soul. All power to you.
Farhan
Dec 21, 2009 08:49am
Well done NFP. All those misguiding voices on our Tv channels truly deserve this.
Saqib
Dec 20, 2009 05:05am
There is no Sohail Warraich in Dunya TV. The person about the writer is talking is Sohail Ahmed, Artist.
acuvue oasys
Dec 20, 2009 05:21am
LMAO - very funny stuff! :)
M.Saif (Karachi)
Dec 21, 2009 08:40am
One of your best satires Mr. NFP, keep it coming!
fed up
Dec 20, 2009 06:16am
"Paracha is to much fun. He defines the atrocities that Pakistan is facing with a touch of hilarity. We need visionaries that ink every bit of seriousness through humor." "Perfect analysis"
Mansoor
Dec 20, 2009 10:33am
LOL! Hilarious!
Ahsan
Dec 20, 2009 11:00am
I have seen little kids make fun out of everything. Good thing you talked about people and not ideologies.
waqas
Dec 20, 2009 11:00am
That was one of the worst compilation of accounts I have ever come across. The ideas which the writer has tried to convey is really strange. I am unable to understand one thing that what's the outcome of this useless compilation? Is it for entertainment or to shed some light on few issues or what? It's a total mess except for few reasonably placed arguments.
waqas
Dec 20, 2009 11:19am
I think it is an attempt to poison your readers Mr. Paracha. I think as a critic you should be able bring out your readers what
Pradeep
Dec 20, 2009 12:24pm
@Diablo86 "A society that laughs at itself becomes the laughing stock for the rest of the world" And a society which takes itself too seriously dies from high blood pressure. Soviet Union is case in point.
Waqar Khalid
Dec 20, 2009 01:09pm
Not a fan of yours, but this was a good piece. Even though you failed to mention MQM.
Ammar Haider
Dec 21, 2009 12:02pm
Well said... love the Zaid Hamid part...:)
Adnan Khan
Dec 21, 2009 12:03pm
Dear NFP, Really enjoyed your comments but seems like you are really obsessed with Zaid Hamid. The flip side of the coin is you seriously are another form of extremism.
Raza
Dec 20, 2009 02:13pm
NFC once again blatant humor. You got to take journalism serious man.
Nadeem
Dec 20, 2009 02:21pm
This guy has nothing original to say. Always makes fun of other people with arrogance. Mr. Parcha thinks he is the best in the world. Produce something original and meaningful. No serious journalists talk or care about you.
Khadim Hussain
Dec 21, 2009 01:40pm
Really interperated the mass perceptions here. Its really great!!
Daud
Dec 21, 2009 02:08pm
Nicely done...
Lyari
Dec 20, 2009 02:52pm
Just hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Mrityunjay Tripathi
Dec 20, 2009 03:05pm
Dear Sir, Great Article! People like you across the border keep such hope in me alive that two brothers, after the division of property should not necessarily be taken as enemies.
Mary B.
Dec 20, 2009 03:07pm
This GHAZWA-UL-HIND thing is to good. Hope it does not go into head of too many Pakistan folks. These guys like Ali Azmat, Zaid Hamid are doing a great disservice to innocent Pakistani minds by their outlook & ideology. People like NFP, Kamraan Shafi , Irfan Husain are the REAL HEROES , hope more & more Pakistanis listen to them .
Zulfiqar Ahmed
Dec 20, 2009 03:19pm
A job very well done. Satire right up there with South Park which makes me wish if you Mr. Paracha and some of your affiliates could produce something like this for Dawn Tv. It would really roll some heads in Pakistan.
nuzhat
Dec 20, 2009 03:54pm
I am still laughing. Keep them coming NFP. I love "Mushtaq Minhas: A very strange man" still laughing.
Umer
Dec 20, 2009 04:00pm
You are so pathetic. You don
salman
Dec 21, 2009 07:52am
An awesome awesome piece.
Syed Ali Raza Usama.
Dec 21, 2009 07:51am
Its Very Good...!!!
salman
Dec 21, 2009 07:52am
It is curious why so few people bother to post when a blog is Anti-Pak.
Sapan Kapoor
Dec 20, 2009 04:16pm
Dear NFP, I am an aspiring journalist in India and I have no hesitation in telling you that you have become my role model. You are simply brilliant. I have been reading your articles for a long time now and believe me you are one of the best journalists in the subcontinent. I do not see as patriotic and pragmatic journalist like you here in India. I know you are being criticized for your articles in Pakistan. Some have even gone to the distance by labeling you an agent but believe me Mr. Paracha, nobody loves Pakistan more then you. I just hope and wish Pakistan had more NFP's then Zaid Hamid's. You rock man.
Nazzia
Dec 20, 2009 04:38pm
A brilliant satire.
Noman
Dec 20, 2009 06:51pm
Lol, good truthful comments on Amir Liaquat.
Rabidtooth
Dec 20, 2009 07:16pm
Hahaha!!! NFP I love your Irreverence, hilarious how you can get under everyone's skin. keep it up NFP, Love it, Y'all.
anon
Dec 21, 2009 07:37am
Aamir Liaqat has been correctly and very accurately defined! Great read! Thanks!
fjk
Dec 20, 2009 07:27pm
Once I loved to read NFP articles for his hilarious tone but since he started propagating a certain thought, I lost the interest in his articles.
Aamir
Dec 20, 2009 08:01pm
I am still laughing
ZUKIN
Dec 20, 2009 09:16pm
I think that NFP is ridiculous. All you do is criticize the ignorance that you see around you and blame this person and that. You should try to offer some constructive criticism for once and offer some solutions. I don't exactly know what your designation of 'cultural critic' means, but I am sure it encompasses more than just pointing your finger at people while you sit at your computer and do nothing about it. I'm not saying that I am better than you or that I make a difference to society, but I do not go around picking the flaws and exposing them for no reason. You continuously blame the media for propagating conspiracy theories, yet you are part of the media and do nothing to dispel them. If you are that senior a member of Dawn, then use your seniority to make a difference and make an appearance on the shows you so often-criticize and do something about it. Once again, I am not saying that I am a saint in this matter, nor am I a defender of the ignorance and apathy that surrounds our society, but just to sit and talk about it is completely worthless.
Shahid
Dec 20, 2009 09:26pm
Hahaha, this is hilarious. You should also pick on some Indian personalities. I must confess that in India we have an image that in Pakistan, media is not free and is too scared of hardliners and hardcore nationalists but I am surprised. Please don
kharbindersingh
Dec 20, 2009 10:53pm
Very very interesting. Excellent but needs to be updated regularly.
Hassan
Dec 20, 2009 11:40pm
Surgically accurate and very hilarious ! Well done.
Very Funny
Dec 21, 2009 07:16am
I enjoyed (and found it really funny)reading your article. We all cannot be serious all the time, need some funny break as well. Well done!!
true patriot
Dec 21, 2009 04:11am
Amazing as always. We need hundreds of you !! Please never stop :)
Vishu
Dec 21, 2009 04:21am
Great! India badly needs an NFP!
ashutosh
Dec 21, 2009 05:41am
This guy is a great satirist and very provoking. Should be careful about himself in case he lives within Pakistan. I seriously doubt there is freedom of opinion there and the guys can stop his mind (and pen) from working in case they spot and identify him.
Abdullah Hussain
Dec 21, 2009 06:00am
I wish NFP has the courage to sit and debate with Zion Hamid on issues confronting him (NFP). Zion Hamid looks inch by inch a scholar, a learned person having full grip on his subject. I think only a handful of scholars can match him and NFP is certainly not amongst them. Ah
bps
Dec 21, 2009 06:10am
NFP is the King of Satire!! feel relaxed after reading your piece as I laugh a lot and there is sadness as well!!!
Zaraki Kenpachi
Dec 21, 2009 06:14am
Looks like the author has just woken up after reading a children
Mady'sdad
Dec 21, 2009 06:17am
Well written, good time pass and that is all this article is. The title should be: "Dictionary of People hated by NFP" I would've loved see MQM, Ansar Abbasi, Chaudhry Brothers, Musharraf, Obama, Rehman Malik etc. Perhaps in the next volume.
Khurram Mansoor
Dec 21, 2009 06:34am
Lovely, its a good way of laughing at ourselves.
Khurram Mansoor
Dec 21, 2009 06:43am
An abomination brought to life by the Elders of Zion and the illuminati to misguide innocent young Pakistani patriots and mohib-e-watan-Ghazwa-ul-Hind warriors with the help of CIA money, NASA spacesuits, and KFC Zinger Burgers. Most probably has ancient Dravidian Hindu blood running in his veins and is certainly out to destroy the super-duper Muslim master-race. Is not it too flattering.
Fawad Siddiqui
Dec 21, 2009 07:58am
That's a brilliant piece of writing. Good sense of humor !! except Zaid Hamid. His talks are really encouraging in the present situation. Keep writing Mr.Paracha. We are waiting for your next volume.
mustafa
Dec 21, 2009 02:48pm
Very biased.
Shan
Dec 21, 2009 02:56pm
I have read your article then read loads of comments left here now I am just wondering should I laugh or cry because as far as I see only Indians are there laughing and keep encouraging you which is a shame.
Rehmatullah Chinggisi
Dec 21, 2009 03:14pm
Remarkable and not disagreeable comments on Pakistani media outlets. I wholeheartedly appreciate Nadeem F. Paracha, one of the competent and impartial writers, who commented much agreeably about infant Pakistani media. Rehmatullah Chinggisi Quetta, Balochistan
NA
Dec 22, 2009 09:39am
Thank You Mr. NFP! I couldnt agree more with your dictionary.
Atta.Ul.Haque
Dec 21, 2009 03:56pm
Best one is your comments on Geo TV. What you said is 100% true.
A Patriot
Dec 21, 2009 04:15pm
I think Mr NFP needs to stop hatred in this yellow journalism way. Someone has forgotten his past. Zaid Hamid is good or bad, leave it to the people. Muslims are bad or good leave it to the people rather than putting your communist remarks there.
Salman hafeez khan
Dec 21, 2009 04:42pm
NFP, nice work but the Zaid Hamid thing, I would rather disagree with you on that.
HJ
Dec 21, 2009 06:17pm
Just an ANTI- EVERYTHING article not really posing any logical arguments rather just making a fool out of everything. Though some are justified. A nice quick comic relief.
Sheikh
Dec 21, 2009 06:34pm
Light hearted fun and no more. Nothing constructive but self-beating/defeating. Learn to respect yourself and the world will respect you.
mj
Dec 21, 2009 06:50pm
Absolutely hilarious Mr. Paracha. There is a glaring deficiency in humor. Thanks for giving us something to laugh about. I think we all needed a little levity.
adnan
Dec 21, 2009 07:45pm
Great article. Thanks for exposing the Zaid Hamid. Keep it up.
Ahmad
Dec 21, 2009 08:36pm
Hi really enjoyed reading them very creative why have you left out Altaf Hussain and so on out of your list?
Bhupendra
Dec 21, 2009 09:25pm
Simple yet very deep sarcasm. I think we should always keep aside serious talk for a bit and give some time to fun things like this, this may arise a introspection in someone.
Ussamah
Dec 21, 2009 10:42pm
Love the comment on Ali Azmat's tind!
Hussain Bukhari
Dec 22, 2009 07:23am
It is fine to be a critic but mere criticism would not let the mare go. We must have solutions for all that we criticise. Please be a constructive critic.
sunil
Dec 22, 2009 01:58am
Nadeem - you truly love your country. Voices like yours will be heard by millions in Pakistan in the days to come. Truth is not an easy medicine to administer - but will have to be done by someone anyway.
Rajat
Dec 22, 2009 07:12am
People like you keep Pakistan hope alive
S. Singh
Dec 22, 2009 02:39am
Dear Nadeem, Kudos to you! You do all of us in the Subcontinent proud! Your articles are casting Dawn in a very positive light in Europe. Thanks Nadeem for providing hope!
Eddie Wharry
Feb 05, 2010 06:46am
I like your writing style.
Max
Dec 22, 2009 06:48am
Loved it! your the man, NFP :-)
zafar
Dec 22, 2009 07:53am
Loved every word of dictionary along with its meaning. its pretty much what media is in pakistan.
Hussain
Dec 22, 2009 04:56am
Lol. Zaid Hamid is the funniest guy in Pak media and NFP is most sane!
Asim
Dec 22, 2009 04:59am
All you do is sit there and criticize everyone and everything around you. Any real achievements that you're proud of? Any contribution to society? Or is your humor the result of the finest stuff one can find?
IQ Khan
Dec 22, 2009 05:21am
Good stuff....Satirical......almost 300 comments, that's amazing!
nasrat
Dec 22, 2009 06:43am
Congrats, very well written dictionary. You really defined very truly I 100% agree all you a written about all specially about Dr Shahid Masood and Hamid Gul. Very well done.
swaleh baig
Dec 22, 2009 12:06pm
Interesting and very close to reality as majority would like this.
Ahmed Ilyas
Dec 23, 2009 10:39am
I feel sorry for this writer. Recently I started reading his work and to be honest I feel this guy is so bored with his life that he sits all day thinking about what is wrong with this country or people around him.
Chibbz
Dec 22, 2009 06:39pm
It is commonly seen for people like Nadeem 'F' Paracha to criticize anything and everything in Pakistan without coming up with a solution for any..
Tariq
Dec 22, 2009 07:40pm
Funny but very true! Like Aamir Liaqat Hussain and Hamid Gul's lines. You should have mentioned some more names like Hazrat Allama JJ and Moulana Inzi.. Anyways Great work once again and let me tell you NFP! We the Pakistani youth are with you. Keep on Writing and Keep on Saying the (Harsh) Truth
Janjua
Dec 22, 2009 07:45pm
"Name of a special Pilgrimage Package offered by Peo Travels (Pvt.) Ltd. to specifically attract fitnahs to go for Haj and get God
N. Baig
Dec 22, 2009 09:02pm
Brilliant. Incisive. Funny.
Abdullah Hussain
Dec 23, 2009 12:42pm
Ahmed Ilyas says:I feel sorry for this writer. Recently I started reading his work and to be honest I feel this guy is so bored with his life that he sits all day thinking about what is wrong with this country or people around him. -------------------------------------------- Brother you are not alone in thinking so. A vast majority of the readers think so. At times we have to taste a sour grape as well. AH
Ali Ahmad
Dec 24, 2009 08:55am
Lol..Brilliant work Mr. Nadeem! But Mr. Hamid could be named something else. Something more funny! Nice article.
Fahad
Dec 25, 2009 01:56pm
True... from the beginning till the end
Shafiqa khan
Dec 26, 2009 11:29am
Very nice dear :) Keep it up Sir. Regards
Raza
Dec 25, 2009 08:01pm
Nadeem F. Paracha Keep it up Good job.
hindu infidel
Dec 26, 2009 03:28pm
I hope people listen to this man rather than Zaid Hamid.
Faryaz Shaikh
Dec 28, 2009 01:55pm
good one!
Ammar
Dec 26, 2009 09:26pm
Awesome.. two thumbs up.
mustafa
Dec 27, 2009 12:25pm
Good, keep on writing.
Bertrand Ghussel
Dec 29, 2009 07:53pm
Interesting and funny, and relatively true.
farrahshah
Dec 30, 2009 02:50pm
Excellent outburst of creative humor. What surprise me though is the Indian comments surprised if they watch our media this much than God Bless them as we do not watch it that often neither do we take it so seriously.
AFTAB
Dec 31, 2009 07:28pm
The whole article written above makes me wonder what humor is. There shouldn
Faisal
Dec 31, 2009 08:41pm
Great Work NFP.. Aptly described the state of our media and the propoganda machine.. Keep Writing...
Amir
Dec 31, 2009 08:43pm
Awesome.. Keep it coming.
Fátimah Isabelh
Jan 02, 2010 10:16pm
Ol
observer
Jan 03, 2010 04:58pm
Pakistani channels have achieved the height of fiction. The anchors think of themselves as philosophers and I think the viewers take them on their words, what a sad state of affairs! The guests and the anchors of Pakistani TV don't deserve to be on TV!!
Nina
Jan 11, 2010 07:50am
It's nice and very true
Owais
Jan 15, 2010 09:28am
Another master-piece - but im getting a bit irrated now - This Zaid Hamid and Mullah bashing all the time just makes you extremely one dimensional and rather boring now.
honey
Jan 15, 2010 05:40pm
Wow man great thinking.
Danish Falah
Jan 20, 2010 09:54pm
I agree with all the meanings of your dictionary, except for Nadeem F. Paracha.
Gowt k
Jan 21, 2010 01:06am
Great job... brother... LOL... specially about Zaid Hamid..
Pakistani Resources
Jan 26, 2010 10:52am
Very interesting funny post. I like PTV one. PTV: The channel only Rehman Malik and Bilawal Bhutto watch. This is really a funny philosophy...................
Luv it
Jan 29, 2010 10:36am
Ghazwa-ul-Hind: A forthcoming Lollywood science-fiction blockbuster directed by Zaid Hamid, produced by Dr. Shahid Masood, and staring Maria B., Ali Azmat, Hamid Gul, Irfan Siddiqui, and Yoda. Simply awesome!!!
Mu118
Jan 29, 2010 03:58pm
Awesome piece buddy! :-)
Sana Roger
Feb 01, 2010 02:16pm
Off the hook! hilarious!
Maliha Aqueel
Feb 01, 2010 07:44pm
HILARIOUS!! and exactly to the point too =D loved each and every one of these you KFC agent. You're a wonderful writer not like all those vegetable writers out there. Much appreciated NFP!