The Waziristan yatra

Published October 3, 2012

Click on images to enlarge.

The BJP Ram Rath Yatra started from Somnath and ended at the Ram Janmabhoomi in Ayodhia. BJP leaders converted an air-conditioned van into a chariot and brought hundreds of Karsevaks to the site of Babri Masjid. The assembled yatrees demolished Babri Mosque to build Ram Temple and Lal Krishan Advani demolished congress in the centre and built the first BJP government.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

The Yatra of Imran Khan is going start from blue area of Islamabad, close to parliament house – the house of the idol of western democracy (Taghut). This modern day temple of Somnath on Constitutional Avenue is the mother of all evils. The yatrees march will proceed towards Balkasar, Talagang, Mianwali, D I Khan and then move towards South Waziristan. The yatra will end at Kotkai in South Waziristan, the janam bhomi of Taliban hero, Hakemullah Mehsud who survived the dastardly Americans illegal drone strike. Yatres would include foreign journalists, true blooded liberals, gaddi nasheens and my feudal lords of Multan, Islamic human rights activists, and fibre optics revolutionaries from all across Pakistan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

The march will protest in front of American bases and the CIA headquarters in South Waziristan from where drones are being operated. The great Captaan will have three rings of defense for his safety. The rest of the marchers will be protected by the prayers of their family members. Shah Mao Tse-tung and Javed Chou En-lai will lead the public under the protection of the prayers offered by their sufis at the shrines of Multan. All other foreign minister candidates will follow KM Qasoori in Beaconhouse school buses.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

The Taliban have offered protection to Imran khan and his yatrees. The government of the United Emirates of Taliban will also provide protection to the visiting Pakistani yatrees in South Waziristan against the attacks of Black water, CIA, and uncircumcised RAW agents. The yatra is, however, not allowed by the foreign forces of political administration and the army of Pakistan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

This is will be Imran Khan’ first foreign visit to the Emirates of Taliban. The foreign delegate of yatrees will be taken to the shrines of Baitullah Mehsud, Naik Mohmmad, Ilyas Kashmiri where they will place flower garlands and offer fatiha. The founding fathers of the Emirates of Taliban were innocent civilians who were killed by illegal drone attacks. The innocent civilians will present a guard of honour to welcome the peace delegate at the border of Pakistan and South Waziristan. The delegates will also attend the flag hosting ceremony, like we see at the Wagha Border in Lahore. After paying a visit and offering fatiha for great teacher, Qari Hussain the yatree will gather in Kotkai to celebrate Sunday holiday. After the sermon by Captan yatree, he will proceed to see the model village built by the army in Kotkai on the entry border of South Waziristan.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

Yatrees will also visit hospitals that were built by cutting surrounding mountains during the Afghan Jihad of Zia ud din Ayubi; these hospitals will be replicated in Bani Gala and Margalla hills in Islamabad. Foreign journalist will visit universities in South Waziristan and bring with them guiding syllabi for the uniform, one syllabus to be introduced in Pakistan when PTI comes into power.

Imran will lead them back to Islamabad for a peace conference that would be presided by Soofi Mohammad of Malakand Agency. As we all know, all roads lead to Islamabad, whether from Kargil, Jalalabad, Srinagar or Waziristan. The political mileage from this yatra will yield dividends in Islamabad.

-Illustration by Sabir Nazar

All we need to do is to cast our vote for the gaddi nasheens of Multan and shedatulli. And I promise, within the next 19 days, corruption will disappear like horns disappeared from the head of donkey. The Taliban will lay their arms at the deep mid wicket in front of Caliph Imran Khan; the economy will be running like Sir Agha Waqar Khan’s car, the tax net will catch all the big fish that didn’t vote for PTI. And most importantly, justice will finally be provided by our honorable Jirga elders; and the grand court of jirga/punchayat elders will be shifted to Meerwala, Muffargargh, adjacent to Mukhtaran Mai’s school.

 


The author left architecture for painting but ended up as a cartoonist and now writes Hijjo. He is the jack of all trades.

 


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

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