MUZAFFARABAD, Oct 7: The building is pristine, magnificent and earthquake resistant too. But all this has not diminished gloom and fear that prevails among its occupants as and when they remember their colleagues who departed them for good on Oct 8, 2005.

One year on, the students of Government Postgraduate College for Girls, located in the heart of Muzaffarabad, have not been able to come out of emotional shock in the aftermath of the killer quake which left 150 of their fellows dead another 25 wounded.

“I was making a phone call to my predecessor when suddenly the earth seemed to be moving up and down followed by heartrending screams from outside,” recalled Principal Dr Shahjahan Saima, as she spoke to Dawn in her office here on Saturday, taking a break from her work on a computer.

The prefabricated structure has been built on the site of one of the two fallen buildings by a Turkish non governmental organisation. However, in view of growing number of students, the college administration is compelled to hold some classes in tents pitched on the premises.

Dr Saima said she was trapped in her (previous) office when the quake struck. “By the time I managed to find a space to rush out, one of the two double storey buildings had crumpled. There was dust and smoke outside, making it too difficult to recognise anyone,” she said.

In the collapsed building, two classes were being held for as many as 800 pupils. “The trapped girls were crying with pain and shouting for help. There was complete chaos. Their white dresses had turned red and blood was streaming on the ground,” she said with bedewed eyes. “I can never forget those scenes. It’s not possible to forget them.”

Asked if the students had recovered from trauma, she replied in the negative. “They are much better than earlier. But if you say the fear is gone, it’s wrong. People (students) are still traumatised, suffering from post traumatic stress symptoms and disorders. It will take them long time to recover.”

A clinical psychologist, Dr Saima said she launched counselling services for students so as to convince them to resume studies. “Initially, they were not ready to return (to college). Nor were their parents ready to send them. But gradually, we have regained our strength.”

Saba Kazmi, a student of 4th year, was in the building which collapsed. In her class alone, 43 girls perished. She was also trapped under the rubble and was recovered after 8 hours with broken jaw by a youth whose own sister was lying dead next to her. “We had lost hopes of life. Our mouths were full of dust and were crying for water to quench our raging thirst,” she said. While speaking of her deceased friend Shakila, whose body was recovered after eight days, she broke down into tears.

“She was such a good girl that despite the passage of one year I have not been able to scratch her memories,” she said, wiping tears with her palm.

Dr Saima told that shortly after the tremor, fathers of many girls as well as students from the town’s college for boys reached her institution and carried out the rescue operation. But the last dead body was recovered on the tenth day of quake. “Had the boys not reached, the toll would have been much higher,” she said. Political Science lecturer Yasmin Imtiaz was also in the same building that caved in, taking her class on the second floor.

By the strike of luck, she walked to the rear classroom and sat on a bench after feeling headache when suddenly the quake struck and toppled the building. Twenty-two students in her class were killed, but she survived miraculously. However, downstairs, English lecturer Fareeda Khanam was not as lucky she Ms Imtiaz.

Narrating her story, she said the girls had become courageous. But in the same breathe she admitted that psychological effect of the quake still prevailed deep down in the hearts and minds of teachers and pupils alike. “I don’t know why I feel sort of suffocation inside the building,” she said of the prefabricated structure.

Student Shamyla Rafiq said fear had not gone. “I know this building is earthquake resistant, but I don’t know why sometimes I am overpowered by a state of fear that we may face an Oct 8 like situation,” said Shamyla Rafiq from a suburban area. However, her colleague Sadia Rashid said their teachers and parents had encouraged them a lot to learn the art of living in adverse situations. “But it is fact that whenever there is talk of earthquake, those horrific scenes are refreshed,” added the 19-year old. “Yes, the landscape of our institution has changed, but those bitter memories still haunt us,” said 3rd year student Ambreen Ibrar.

Earlier, all the students held Quran Khawani for the deliverance of the departed souls and during the recitation of Quranic verses, many lost control over their emotions.

Tears started rolling down their cheeks, dampening the papers of the chapters of Qauran in their hands as they sat crossed legged on a white sheet. The Quran Khawani was followed by a brief function where teachers and some students delivered brief speeches to pay tributes to their fellow students. Chairman AJK Cultural Academy Jawad Hussain Jafri also attended the function.

“Let’s seek forgiveness from the God in this holy month that He should not subject us to further trials. Let’s pray those who have left us cheer in the Gardens of Eden,” concluded Mr Jafri at the function.