BESLAN (Russia): Fatima Kochiyeva survived. But 20 months after being held captive in a school in the southern Russian town of Beslan, not a day goes by when Kochiyeva and her children do not feel death’s chilly breath.

“My life stopped in September 2004,” Kochiyeva said. “I fear for my children. I am not sure the drama will not be repeated.”

She recalled in minute detail the moment when she took her daughter Larisa and son Soslan, both aged five, to the yard of Beslan’s School Number One to join in the festivities marking the first day of the academic year. In the blink of an eye, the party turned into an unprecedented nightmare.

“When I saw the hostage-takers come, I could still have run. But I couldn’t move. I stayed in the yard, completely paralyzed,” said the 33-year-old Kochiyeva, now pregnant with her third child.

Tears filled her eyes as she slowly leafed through a photo album with pictures of those killed.

“I knew them all. They were neighbours, friends.”

The pro-Chechen gunmen seized 1,127 hostages at the school and demanded that Russia withdraw its troops from Chechnya. When Russian troops stormed the school three days later 331 people were killed, 186 of them children. All but one of the 32 hostage-takers also died.

“The authorities told the media that there were only 300 people held hostage. When they heard that, the terrorists told us: ‘They have abandoned you. We will kill most of you and leave only 300 living,’” Kochiyeva recalled.

“There were many hundreds of us jammed in the sports hall. Children cried. On the first day I was convinced we would be let out of there. The terrorists allowed us to go to the restrooms, to drink water. But on the second day they became aggressive.

“They told us: ‘Now you will be without food or water until our demands are met.’ A little girl with diabetes died because they refused her water,” Kochiyeva said, pointing to the child’s photo in the album.

“On the third day it became unbearable. The heat, the smells. We were soaked with sweat, the floor was stained with urine. Many people were dead in the room, maybe of heart attack or dehydration, and their bodies remained in the room,” the young woman remembered.

“My daughter told me: ‘Mom, I want to live so much!’ The terrorists threatened constantly to blow us all up. I had no more hope but I tried to reassure my children and told them that all would be well,” she added.

“On the third day, the terrorists became excited. They told us that there would be an assault and that our soldiers would fire on us. They changed into civilian clothes. I heard a blast and lost consciousness.”

When Fatima came to her senses, she rushed to the window to push her daughter out of the building.

“I was afraid of touching her. She was all covered in blood and bits of brains. Luckily, it was not her blood,” the ex-hostage said.

Then she went to look for her son, who had been thrown across the room by the explosion. She helped him flee too before fainting again after another blast. Her last memory was of “a little girl, her throat cut by a splinter, her large eyes watching me attentively”.

“I thought I would take her with me when I left the school. But I forgot. I forgot everything, even my children. I jumped out a window and ran,” she recalled, lowering her eyes.—AFP