The sudden thudding of the heart, those hot flashes, racing pulse, galloping blood pressure and a constant feeling of being out of control. All this and more leave a mark everyday on what is called my ‘life’.

People say quite frequently to me, “Why do you take so much stress? You should try to breathe easy! You are an ungrateful person that’s why you feel stressed out all the time!”

Trust me I have heard it all, and believe me when I say that such comments add on to the pressure, not lessen it in any way. Had stress been a source of burning calories, I would be the thinnest and most fragile supermodel of all.

However, such is not the case. The disappointed glances at the measuring tape showing an increasing waistline every month, the lingering echo of sarcastic comments by super-thin friends and the constant yearning for yummy food add further kilos to my weight. Yes, this is the true story of my life — it starts with the heading of stress and ends with the conclusion of fat.

Live in the moment, laugh, cry, sing and dance because you never know what might happen tomorrow

Let’s begin by looking at the first chapter in most teenagers’ life. As a 15-year-old, I can relate to many stressful things happening around. The stress of achieving top grades academically, participating and succeeding in co-curricular activities, becoming a part of the school culture, taking care of my appearance, trying to please friends and kin, and finding time to pursue a hobby or two takes the pressure cooker of my brain to its last limits. Sometimes when I look around I feel as if I am the only one getting this anxious, hence making me believe that I really could have been a wonder in the fashion industry if only stress burned calories. But then realisation hits, which brings me back to the cold hard reality that some things just have to come and go naturally. Things like stress and weight just come and then refuse to go!

I am a girl who gets worked up on issues like where to start studying from and when to end. At times I just cannot force myself to wear that cute top lying in the closet simply because I feel that it will not suit me, even though it probably will. I try my level best to get the best grades and the highest post in the students’ council. I work hard to fulfil the expectations of all my loved ones. However, the most difficult part is to meet the high standards that I have set for myself. These problems might seem very petty to some people, but I am different.

Having the basic knowledge of some of the side-effects of stress, including headaches, stomach issues, blood pressure instability and confidence problems, put me under further strain. Not knowing how to deal with them, adds up to the whole debacle. I wish we could have more support groups to discuss and hence resolve the issues of our age, or otherwise some labs where we can transform our stress into fat-burning pills.

As the story of my wonderfully stressful life continues, I would like to give you all an advice which is to live in the moment, laugh, cry, sing and dance because you never know what might happen tomorrow. And I will always hope that one day stress starts burning calories and I become a supermodel, because what’s life without some dreams, right?

Published in Dawn, Young World, January 21st, 2017