Not let your default reactions get the best of you

We all have default behaviours. And the way we handle these automatic reflexes during meetings, conversations, negotiations, conflicts etc can be the difference between success and failure. Say you butt heads with a co-worker over a project’s next steps. If you jump to defend your position, you might fail to hear the other person’s side, ending up in an erratic, emotional dispute. How do you override automatic reactions like these? First, know what triggers your emotional or competitive side. Then make a list of your default behaviours, like interrupting, becoming aggressive or passive etc. Then anticipate them. If careful listening is your goal — but frequent interruption is your default — rehearse a plan for better listening before your high-conflict meeting.

(Adapted from How to Override Your Default Reactions in Tough Moments, by Lee Newman)

A breathing exercise can help you refocus

In order to get work done and perform well, we need to be able to fully concentrate. Anxiety and stress diminish our ability to focus — and in high-pressure environments or during periods of change, it can be difficult to get these under control. You need to find a way to ignore the stress and get into a calm state so you can achieve your goals. Here’s a simple method for staying calm under stress: Every morning before you go to work, carve out time to simply focus on your breath — perhaps a 10- to 20-minute session. Whenever your mind starts to wander, just let that go and refocus on your breath. This sharpens attention and calms the mind.

(Adapted from How to Concentrate Under Pressure, by Daniel Goleman)

Bring meetings to a close effectively

A common complaint among managers is that despite holding so many meetings, few meetings actually produce results. “We keep talking about the same issue over and over, but nothing seems to ever happen!” The issue? Most meetings lack closure — the necessary link between meeting and impact. To deliberately and effectively close a meeting:

Check for alignment: Ask, “Is everyone OK with where we ended up?” to surface any questions or concerns, and to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Agree on next steps: Ask, “What needs to get done before our next meeting?” Nail down specific commitments, concrete deadlines and follow-up schedules.

Reflect on what you accomplished: Say, “These are the five things I’m taking away from this,” to validate the conversation and the team.

(Adapted from The Right Way to End a Meeting, by Paul Axtell)

Get feedback on a failed business case

What do you do if your business case fails to win over decision-makers? First off, don’t despair that your project wasn’t approved. You’ve contributed to the success of the company by helping it identify that the project wasn’t a worthwhile investment. The real purpose of a business case is not necessarily to win approval for your proposal — it’s to provide enough information that the committee can make an informed decision. But don’t just say thank you and walk away. Always ask “Why?” If you know precisely why the decision-makers rejected your case, then you’ll be able to follow up appropriately.

(Adapted from HBR Guide to Building Your Business Case, by Amy Gallo)

Stop waiting for the perfect job

Many people don’t advance in their careers because they’re holding out for that perfect job. But perfection is an odd goal when it comes to our professional lives. We learn not to limit ourselves to perfect when it comes to choosing partners and houses. So why are we obsessed with the idea of a job that will fulfil all our fantasies about work? When we focus on the ideal role, we fall into an all-or-nothing trap. Holding out for perfect means hoping and waiting, but doing little. But actively reaching out for ‘good enough’ can transform your career. Find work that inspires you and is reachable. If you have an idea about what your dream job might be, go find out what it feels like from the inside. Don’t allow employer branding or media portrayals to make you starry-eyed. Get firsthand information from those in the field.

(Adapted from Stop Fantasising About the Perfect Job, by John Lees)

Published in Dawn, Economic & Business, August 3rd, 2015

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