Salaam Auntie,

I am a young girl from a middle-class family. I have been a brilliant student throughout my academic career. After my graduation, I decided to pursue the Central Superior Services (CSS) exam.

My first attempt was not good enough. However, I worked hard and did my second attempt. The second time, I failed a subject by a narrow margin, even though I was sure of clearing it. The result has shattered me. I took almost three years to prepare for my second attempt. At this time, I feel that I have achieved nothing and family expectations are adding to the pressure.

My classmates and friends have gone away and, also, I had no communication with anyone during my exam preparation. Now, I feel exhausted and life seems to have no purpose. During this time, I intentionally let professional opportunities pass me by in order to clear the exam, but it has all been in vain.

In Pain

Dear In Pain,

Your main issue is not failure, but a lack of direction after focusing on the CSS exam for so long. Your days used to be organised around exam preparation, which became tied to your identity. Without that structure, you are feeling lost.

For the next three months, stop judging your life. Don’t dwell on thoughts such as ‘I have wasted my life.’ Instead, create a simple daily routine. Wake up at a fixed time, leave the house every single day, even if you don’t feel like it, and do one thing that involves being productive for a few hours.

‘I Feel My Life Is Over After Failing The CSS’

Also start looking for work and grab whatever comes your way, even if it seems like a ‘small job.’ You must enter the professional world. You have to get things moving again, otherwise it’s very easy to sit and mope at home.

If you still feel attached to the idea of doing your CSS, you could start helping others prepare for the exam. Put what you learnt during preparation to good use. Tell your family that you need one year to rebuild professionally and that constant pressure is making you shut down rather than improve. Families often do not realise the damage that their silence or comparisons do.

Another thing you should do is to reach out to people and get back into circulation. Do not wait to ‘feel social.’ Reach out to old friends, old classfellows or a cousin. Tell them that you disappeared during the exams and are now trying to reconnect. Even one human connection will help lessen the mental heaviness you are feeling.

Also, your life is ahead of you and you should stop yourself from seeing this as an ‘all or nothing’ situation. Many successful people did not clear the CSS, or cleared it later in their lives after doing other work. Your life does not end because a door closes.

Finally, if the hopelessness and exhaustion persist, seek professional mental health support. Talking to a therapist can really help.

This is simply a pause, a blip in your life. Take the above steps and keep moving. I wish you the best of luck.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query.

Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, January 11th, 2026