Parents are the key personalities who play a vital role throughout the journey of the growth of a child.

On the way back to the hostel from university, a driver shared a brief story about his two kids. The driver works two jobs. He is a security guard at the university in the morning hours and a part-time driver in the evening. His sole reason for doing two jobs is connected to his crystal-clear intentions of providing his kids with quality education.

Recently, I came across another father who works on daily wages. The father is not strong economically, hence, his kids cannot and do not attend school. Amidst inflation, it is nearly impossible to provide kids with quality education, since it is so costly.

These two stories depict various dimensions, one of which is the unimaginable love of parents for their kids. Usually, in the fast-changing world, children — as they grow up — do not fully realise and appreciate the love and sacrifices of their parents. The feelings parents have for their children are very special and unique in every aspect. Nobody can give you the love and care you receive from your parents. On different occasions, you do receive sympathies, support and love from others in society. Nonetheless, there exists a natural difference between the two types of love.

The family is a baby’s first school and the parents are the first teachers. Informal schooling begins from day one and continues forever. Due to this endless continuity and the infinite love of parents, children are obliged to respond to them in a defined way. The way children treat their parents depends upon the family’s traditions and the teachings of their religion.

In Islam, there are clear Quranic verses and sayings of the Holy Prophet (Peace be Upon Him), that instruct children on how to behave with their parents even if the parents are non-Muslims. Treating parents in a good manner is a duty that has been urged upon repeatedly in the Holy Quran.

Sadly, in many cases, children fail to respond to their parents with the love, care and respect that they deserve. As children become older, they forget the sacrifices their parents made for them.

A companion of the Holy Prophet (Peace be Upon Him) once asked the Prophet about the good deed that is most loved by the Almighty Allah. The companion received the following response: “To offer the prayer in its proper time”. When the companion asked again, the Holy Prophet (Peace be Upon Him) replied, “To be good and dutiful to your parents”. (Bukhari)

When one sees children deviating from the above standard, does not it raise questions and curiosity in the mind? What are the consequences when children do not respect their parents? Why is the adage “What you sow, so shall you reap” forgotten?

There are numerous reasons contributing to this, however, knowing how to tackle it is more important than the reasons. Children unconsciously learn from parents and imitate their habits. In other words, the training of children — Tarbeya — is shaped by parents, though the surrounding environment impacts the behaviour of children equally. Logically, the parents are the shapers of their children’s personalities.

In the case of formal education, apart from a topic on parents’ rights in the subject of Islamiyat, students do not study a subject that is pertinent to making the parent-children bond stronger. With the absence of such character-building academic subjects, it is incumbent upon every learner to self-learn about the precious relationship with parents and practice it.

The university instructors shall add some content on the topic of parents for they are spiritual parents. Additionally, such topics must be discussed on the mainstream media. Apart from the political discussion, there should be programmes on how to make this bond stronger. On the community-level, conversation on this topic has to frequently take place because it is an important part of the teachings of our religion and culture.

The amalgamation of good informal and formal education shall fulfil the personal and academic education, or “Tarebyat-o-taleem” of students. In such a way, the sense of the responsibilities of a good citizen would be automatically induced in them; hence, forming a congenial society.

Remember! Good parents breed good children. Dutifulness to parents must not be reduced to cards and presents on certain occasions. May Almighty bless our parents.

Published in Dawn, Young World, July 2nd, 2022