AoA Auntie, I am an 18-year-old student. I am doing my bachelor’s and live in a hostel. I share my hostel room with a guy who is really reserved and antisocial. Now I am facing a difficult problem. I cannot tolerate his body odour after he comes into the room after playing. As awkward as it may seem but I am really tired of this problem as I usually have to walk out of the room or open the windows in this cold weather. He doesn’t use body sprays or perfumes. I did try to mention this issue to him nicely but he either pays no heed or forgets about what I said. Please tell me a nice way to put my thoughts into words or any other way in which I can express my problem to him without hurting his feelings or disturbing our hostel life.

Strangely oppressed 

Dear Roommate,

Body sprays and perfumes will not remove the smell of sweat and the bacteria that is causing this problem. Sometimes the smell of body spray mixed with that of sweat is worse than the smell of just sweat. You, your roommate and anyone who has body odour should all be using an antiperspirant or a deodorant. An antiperspirant blocks sweat from the body while a deodorant removes the smell of sweat. However, bathing with a soap or shower gel before using either is essential. Using a deo or an antiperspirant should be as important a part of your routine as using toothpaste.

‘I cannot tolerate my roommates’ body odour’

Having read about the importance of using deodorants and antiperspirants you could have a conversation with your roommate regarding your ‘discovery’ that deodorants and antiperspirants are more important than perfumes and body sprays to maintain personal hygiene. You could rush out and buy these and tell him you are excited about using them. You could also buy him one — they are not that expensive — to start him off. However, this is an indirect approach and your roommate might just miss the point.

A better but trickier approach is a direct one. Go up to your roommate and draw his attention to the problem. He might feel embarrassed but could also agree to bathe more regularly and use the right products. You will need to sit him down to do this. Don’t attack him. You could start by saying ‘I cannot get used to the smell of your sweat, especially after you have been playing sports. …’ Set down times when you will use the bathroom and also other general hygiene rules regarding issues such as old food in the refrigerator, cleaning up and clearing up clutter. This should do the trick.

However, if this doesn’t work and it gets unbearable you might have to find a new roommate.

Hey Auntie Agni,

I am a 14-year-old young adult (teenager). My major problem is that I have the most boring life! People say being a nerd is not that boring as it is to be me. They say my whole life revolves around sleeping and studying. I can’t help it, I can’t control my sleep and my contentment is about studying the whole day. My life has started being the saddest and very monotonous since this grade. I rarely go out and rarely enjoy. I don’t know what to do. I think the whole problem is bad time management. I complete one small work in two hours. Honestly, I am sick of life. Suggest me something.

A better but trickier approach is a direct one. Go up to your roommate and draw his attention to the problem. He might feel embarrassed but could also agree to bathe more regularly and use the right products.

Dear Proud Nerd,

What is coming across in your letter is that you enjoy studying and that is actually a very good thing. Other people may find that boring, but they are who they are. If you enjoy opening your textbooks and burying your nose in them, then all Auntie can say is ‘Good for you!’ If that is what fulfils you, then, go right ahead and keep at it. Do not get swayed by other people’s opinion of how you spend your days. Apart from the good grades that I am sure you are getting, this also shows that you have the focus and the discipline to apply yourself. This will probably serve you well in the workplace as an adult. Auntie firmly believes that dazzling talent can be found everywhere. It is the hard workers, who apply their skills and talents every day, who put their heads down and get on with the work, that are the ones who get ahead in life. So don’t let people’s criticism get you down.

At the same time, take some time off your studies to rest. This will help you get inspired. You will find you are more productive when you go back to your books. So even if you think you cannot take a break … in fact, no, let’s rephrase that … the time to take a break is exactly when you think you can’t take one. So take your break, call a friend and step out for an ice cream or snack. Then get back to doing what you do best.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query.

Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, March 19th, 2017