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Quarrelsome behaviour


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WE see no time in human history devoid of wars and killing. Human history is full of such events. Every nation takes pride in its heroes who fought wars against its enemies. But the question is: why do humans fight and kill each other?

The above question invites us to think about the root causes. Humans live in societies. They are different from each other in many ways such as habits, thoughts, interests and perceptions etc. These differences propel people to struggle for self-assertion and can lead to confrontation, intolerance and violence. Parochial thinking and egoism also create bad blood among different sections of the population.

Some people remain unhappy with the existing conditions of their societies; they feel deprived, mistreated and marginalised, which leads to confrontation and rocks society as a whole. Such societies are more vulnerable to frequent clashes and conflicts.

The Holy Quran highlights this issue. It says “…But man is more quarrelsome than anything” (18:54). This means that every human being has a natural tendency to quarrel. Quarrels start when a person, in response to some grievances, entertains grudges against others and feels indignation, followed by vengeful thinking.

Thereafter, a stage is reached when interaction between individuals touches the point of irrationality. It is amply proved in history that the spirit of revenge has resulted in horrid enmity, driving people to take up arms.

Vengeful thinking damages society at large. Therefore, a civilised society tries to nip vengeful thinking in the bud. It provides many avenues where one can vent one’s frustrations and seek redress and justice.

Islam abhors violent and quarrelsome behaviour in society. It urges Muslims to solve their disputes through reconciliation, mediation, negotiations and other ‘soft’ means of conflict resolution. It warns believers that the devil sows disagreement among them (17:53).

In this connection, we find numerous examples in the life of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) which promote compromise and mutual concession in order to build friendship and confidence.

One such example is the incident of when the repair and renovation of the Holy Kaaba was over; a serious quarrel arose as to who was entitled to put the Hijr-i-Aswad (black stone) back in its place. Leaders of many Makkan clans were in dispute, each claiming the honour and the right to set the stone back in its place. There was an impasse, which was solved with the Prophet’s humane and intellectual approach.

It was suggested that the first person to arrive at the Kaaba the next morning would have the right to put the stone back. As it occurred the Holy Prophet was the first to arrive at the Kaaba, but he wished to share the privilege. He spread a sheet of cloth, put the Hijr-i-Aswad in the middle and asked all the leaders to hold the sides together and thus carried the stone back to its place.

In several places the Quran refers to solving disputes amicably, calling upon the disputing parties to forgive, for to forgive is ennobling. It enjoins believers to “…do good as Allah has been good to you. …” (28:77). It states that “Believers are brothers. So make reconciliation between your brothers and fear Allah, that you may receive mercy” (49:10). Islam commends those who forgive peoples’ mistakes and do not hold grudges.

However, conflict is a necessary part of life. And resolving conflict is one of the most difficult areas of human endeavour, but not something impossible. Every conflict is resolvable through negotiations if conducted in a spirit of openness, firmness and willingness to accept the ground realities.

Parties need to abjure the use of force, intimidation, rigidity, intransigence and uncompromising attitudes in settling disputes, as these are the biggest obstructions while fluidity paves the way to settlement. These are some basic requirements of resolving conflicts, but each conflict has a unique history with unique characteristics.

Each party to the conflict has its own concerns and fears. The challenge is to find the right inducement to draw the parties off the battlefield and into the negotiating room. The success of negotiations is often attributed to the readiness of parties to exploit opportunities, confront hard choices and make fair and mutual concessions.

It is very unfortunate that the Muslim ummah, during the last many centuries, has seen numerous conflicts turn ugly causing disunity, mistrust, discontent and unhappiness in its ranks. These have prevented smooth development and caused us to remain backwards. Centuries-old issues lurch back to life every now and then causing tensions.

It is a fact that the world will never be free from disputes and differences. But the need of the hour is to promote pluralism — to coexist in spite of differences. There are divergent views even in a family, so the nation at large must consider it a strength rather than a weakness.

Modern man needs to embrace diversity and curb all the irritants that cause differences to turn into animosity and bloodshed. Many disputes erupt due to hearsay and the Holy Book enjoins us to verify before taking any action (49:6). We should keep our faith in Allah’s promise that He “will judge you on the Day of Resurrection about that wherein you used to differ” (22:69).

Equally, it is necessary to inculcate sound ethics in the younger generation so that disputes can be solved with broad-mindedness. Those who live by the sword often die by the sword. Violence breeds misery and ruin. Therefore, in the modern era, one must seek peaceful means of solving disputes.

The writer is an educationist.

The views expressed by this writer and commenters below do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

Comments (10) Closed

Robin Akbar Apr 05, 2013 11:02am
In theory what is said is ok but in reality a tree is know by its fruits it bears. Where is the the fruit anywhere in Islamic world?
Humane Apr 05, 2013 11:39am
All nations worship their warlords except one. India. Their most famous King is ashoka known for stop fighting altogether than starting it. His emblem of Lions is Indias official symbol. His wheel of dharma is utheir official flag. That is what makes subcontinental culture unique. We used to think different from the rest of the world. Not any more. At least in Pakistan.
ramesh rao Apr 05, 2013 03:23pm
a sound analysis and advice. all religions more or less teach the basic civic responsibilities,but also intolerance toward other faiths. if humanity has to survive, all religions must die. fortunately, advances in science will eliminate ignorance and all religions will probably be extint in a few hundred years. all major religions,except islam, has gone through reforms and their followers are reducing in numbers. islam is the only religion currently expanding because of high birth rate and money spent by oil rich Saudis to convert people in Africa and asia.
p r sharma Apr 05, 2013 03:30pm
But extremists don't follow the path of reconciliation Dispute is solved by them with the use of force. and they claim to follow the puritan Islam. .Why there is so much violence and in tolerance in Islamic countries ? Does it not indicate that majority of the population do not follow the teachings of Islam. Why?
VIVEK Apr 05, 2013 04:55pm
he stopped fighting ONLY after there was no one who could oppose him left alive
Yawar Apr 06, 2013 01:11am
Excellent article. Unfortunately, very few of us will forgive and forget when we are in a position to take revenge.
Agha Ata (USA) Apr 06, 2013 01:36am
It did bear fruit during the first four calif's period, it is claimed, when three of them were assassinated by their own people.
Kamal Gupta Apr 06, 2013 01:51am
"Believers are brothers"? And what about the 4.5 billion people who do not subscribe to Islam?
BRR Apr 06, 2013 11:39pm
For a so called educationist, the writer believes and writes like an Islamic proponent - a mullah. He is not really an educationist - but an Islamic apologist at best. What sociological study can he cite to prove that "humans are inherrently quarrelsome". What article in which scientifically reviewed magazine can he quote? A very poorly written article that is passed off by Dawn as coming from an educationist - my foot.
BRR Apr 06, 2013 11:42pm
Good question - where is the accountability - as they say - show me the money. All this feel good sentiments need to be backed up by data and real results. Where is the glorious world of Islam that writer aims for and claims exists - if all that the writer "educationist at that", claims is true of Islam and muslims - there must be some concrete proofs, some examples.