Not a day goes by when we don’t laugh privately or with our friends and family, and talk about something gross that we find funny. And then there is icky stuff that we would jump away from and never touch even if we had to. Why are we so curious about our bodily functions and why can’t we stop laughing at jokes about poop, pooh, snot, burps or farts? Why do we make a big deal when someone has puked or is sweating and not smelling very nice? How do our bodies generate stuff that smells so bad?

Often grown-ups and our older siblings tell us, “Stop burping like that, it’s rude!” Nevertheless, our curiosity around these things just doesn’t end and we will laugh or squirm no matter how much we are told to be private about these things.

Boogers, farts, burps, sweat and puke continue to intrigue us even though we are we not supposed to speak about these openly. Instead of bugging our elders about it, we are going to talk about this icky or gross stuff right here so we know what it exactly is and why sometimes such a fuss is made when we intentionally or unintentionally happen to do something that is beyond our control.

What is a booger?

Boogers are created when mucous, dirt and debris clump inside our noses and become dry. As tiny children we discover these dried clumps in our noses and, as we grow up, it may become a bad habit with us to stick a finger up our nose to clean it.

Snot is just another name for mucous. Mucous is produced in our nose and has some important stuff to do. Our noses and sinuses make about a one litre of mucous every day, but that is swallowed by us.

Yuck! Exactly, but then mucous protects our lungs. Because it is sticky, it traps all the dust, germs and dirt in our noses when we breathe. Along with some small hairs in our noses called cilia, the mucous is moved to the front so when we blow our nose and get rid of the dirt and germ. We can collect snot in a tissue, but if it moves towards our throat, it gets swallowed by us as phlegm (say flem).

Mucous repels bad stuff such as germs and microbes that we breathe in every day and helps us to smell things. To get rid of boogers, the best thing is to wash your nose with water or to blow it out on a tissue. Picking your nose is a bad idea because your nose contains a lot of germs that you breathe in and these can get on your fingers. Also people who pick their nose don’t often make many friends! After all, who would want to shake hands with such a person?

What is earwax?

It is sticky, sometimes shiny and can have a smell. But where does it come from? Earwax is made in the outer ear canal which lies between the middle ear and the fleshy part of the ear on the outside of your head. The skin in the outer ear canal has special glands that produce earwax. The fancy name for this waxy stuff is cerumen (say suhroomun).

After the wax is produced, it slowly makes its way through the outer ear canal to the opening of the ear. It either falls out or is removed when you wash.

Earwax also has important jobs to do. Earwax acts as a shield between the outside world and the eardrum. It not only protects and moisturises the skin of ear canal so that we don’t have dry, itchy ears, but it also contains chemicals to fight off infections by trapping dust, dirt and germs entering from outside that could harm the skin inside the ear canal.

Do absolutely nothing to get rid of earwax, because if you wash your hair regularly, this is enough to keep your ears clean.

The outside of your ear can be wiped with your towel but cotton swabs, your fingers, or anything else poked around inside your ear is not necessary and could harm your delicate ear canal and eardrum.

In some kids, one or both ear canals make extra earwax. If this sounds like you, tell a grown-up who will take you to a doctor who can deal with it.

What is puke?

Sometimes you feel a bit sick and suddenly you want to throw up something out of your stomach and through your mouth. You feel that something quickly moved inside your tummy and before you know, lots of messy stuff comes out of your mouth. What is more, it may taste bitter and smell awful.

This is puke which is also known as vomit. It is mushed-up, half-digested food or liquid that gets mixed with spit and stomach juices as it makes a quick exit up your throat and out of your mouth. Sometimes it tastes of the food that you ate and has the colour of what you ate too.

If it is greenish in colour and tastes bitter, it is because it has bile mixed in it, which is a fluid produced by your liver. If you feel like puking, a grown up should know who will take control of things from there.

What is spit?

Think of your favourite food and your mouth waters. The liquid collecting in your mouth is saliva, or drool or spit. Saliva is a clear, slippery liquid that’s made in your mouth 24 hours a day, every day, by glands called salivary glands. They secrete or ooze about one to two litres of spit into your mouth every day. Spit makes food wet and easier to swallow. Without saliva, a sandwich would be dry and difficult to gulp down. It also helps the tongue by allowing you to taste. A dry tongue can’t really taste things.

Spit helps begin the process of digestion by breaking food down with the help of special chemicals called enzymes, found in the saliva. Spit cleans the inside of your mouth, rinses your teeth and helps to fight off infections in the mouth.

What is sweat?

When you are running around in the playground at school on a warm day, you feel that your face, back and underarms become damp or wet. This fluid produced by your sweat glands is called sweat.

What happens is that when the body gets hotter than 98.6ºF or 37ºC, your brain wants your body to stay cool and comfortable. The part of your brain that controls temperature is called the hypothalamus and it sends a message to your body, telling it to sweat. The sweat glands start making sweat which is also known as perspiration.

Sweat is made of water and tiny amounts of ammonia urea, salts and sugar and leaves your skin through tiny holes called pores. When it hits the air, it evaporates and your skin cools down. This is nature’s cooling system.

Sweat can be stinky because of the bacteria that live on your skin that mix with the sweat and give it a stinky smell. Regular washing with soap and water can usually keep stinky sweat under control.

What is a fart?

It is natural to fart and everyone does so from Japan to Jordan — cats do, dogs do and so do other animals. It is not a signal of something being wrong in our body. Farts, or flatus, is intestinal gas. When we eat or when we laugh, we swallow air which contains gases. When food is broken down in our intestines, other gases are produced which have to escape and these come out as farts. Some foods such as beans can make you gassy.

If you’re feeling particularly gassy, go to the bathroom, because it’s not polite to fart when you are with people such as in class or at the dinner table. But if it happens accidentally, just remember to say “Excuse me”!

It is not okay to make fun of someone when they pass gas as they have no control over this and you can also do it anytime.

What is a scab?

When you fall and cut yourself, your skin bleeds. While the wound is being cleaned up and medicine being put on it, the blood that comes out quickly starts working to create a natural, protective bandage or the scab for the opening you have created in your body through the injury.

Scab is made out of blood cells and fibrin and it prevents germs from entering the body from outside and blood from oozing out. In a few days, as the wound heals the scab becomes dry and falls off. You should never pick at it.

Why do my feet stink?

You walk, you run and your feet take you so many places. On a hot day, your feet may start to sweat and when you take your shoes off, you are sometimes disgusted by the way your feet smell. When your feet sweat, the bacteria on your skin starts to multiply and eats dead skin cells. The waste they produce is what causes the bad smell.

Make sure you air your shoes, wear clean cotton socks and always keep your feet clean. If your feet still have an offensive smell, tell a grown up so they can sort out the matter for you because stinky feet can be embarrassing.

What is a burp?

Sometimes while you are talking, especially after a meal, air is forced out of your tummy through your mouth, making a sound which can make you feel awkward. This is a burp. Burps are made of gases that you swallow while eating.

Drinking fizzy drinks creates more gas in your tummy so try and avoid drinking them. Indigestion can also cause burps along with heartburn. If you know you are about to burp, keep your hand lightly over your mouth, as you should do when sneezing, and say “Excuse me”. Be as discreet as you can about it.

Published in Dawn, Young World, February 29th, 2020