Consider your audience’s assumptions

When you give a presentation, you’re trying to change your audience’s beliefs about something. Focusing on what people care about will make them much more open to change, so it’s crucial to consider what assumptions they’re making about your topic.

— Ask yourself, “How do I want their attitudes or emotions to change?”

— Acknowledge the difficulty of what you’re asking them to do in order to accept your idea.

— If you want to make it clear that you understand their point of view, explicitly acknowledge their concerns and outline a concrete idea to address them.

(Adapted from the HBR Guide to Persuasive Presentations, by Nancy Duarte)

Overcome your reluctance to negotiate your salary

Negotiating your salary can reap huge long-term benefits. But most of us are reluctant to try. Here are some common excuses and how to overcome them:

1. ‘What if they get upset with me for asking?’ To avoid potential backlash, let the other person know in advance that you wish to negotiate. Give him time to prepare.

2. ‘What if they say no?’ Stop thinking about how bad you’ll feel if you hear a no. Think instead about how good you’ll feel when you’ve initiated the conversation.

3. ‘It’s not like me to ask.’ This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Throw out this mental picture and replace it with an image of a person you can view as a negotiation role model.

(Adapted from Overcome Your Reluctance and Start Negotiating Your Salary, by Judith White)

Head off your next angry outburst

When you’re angry or disappointed with a colleague, it can be tempting to dash off a text or email to say so. But an angry message sent in haste can ruin a relationship. Before communicating, ask yourself:

— What outcome do I want? Think about your end goal and respond in a way that will achieve it.

— What should I communicate? If, for example, you want to be included on a project, saying ‘I’m concerned that you didn’t include me in that meeting’ is clearly a better choice than ‘I can’t believe you didn’t include me!’

— How should I communicate? If you listen to others, they’ll most likely return the favour. Be curious and ask questions. Ask your colleague whether you’ve understood his perspective.

— When should I communicate? Wait until you can approach the conversation with curiosity, compassion and clarity, and until the other person is likely to be generous and calm.

(Adapted from Outsmart Your Next Angry Outburst, by Peter Bregman)

Decline a meeting invitation without burning bridges

There it is in your inbox: An invite to a meeting you really don’t want to attend. How do you decline without burning bridges? Ask yourself:

— Can I recommend someone else? Find the right person to attend the meeting so you don’t appear to be shirking the responsibility.

— Can I contribute in advance? Take a few minutes to pull together some notes and brief a suitable participant ahead of time.

— Can I attend for part of the meeting? If one or more agenda items don’t apply to you, ask if you can attend only the parts of the meeting that do.

(Adapted from Polite Ways to Decline a Meeting Invitation, by Liane Davey)

Overcome a bad first impression

A bad first impression can be hard to shake, but it is possible. Here are four ways to overturn entrenched beliefs:

1. Surprise people. For example, if you’ve developed a reputation for never speaking up, make multiple comments.

2. Overcompensate over time. Bombard people with evidence to suggest that their first impressions were wrong — do it not just once, but consistently.

3. Get closer. If you’ve started out on the wrong foot with someone, find ways to get to know that person better so he can see who you really are.

4. Wait it out. Sometimes the bad impression your colleague formed has nothing to do with you. If you act in ways you’re proud of, most people will come around eventually.

(Adapted from 4 Ways to Overcome a Bad First Impression, by Dorie Clark)

Published in Dawn, Business & Finance weekly, August 22nd, 2016