Hello Aunt Agni
I am an 18-year-old girl who has set herself the unattainable goal of becoming an actress in Hollywood. I have had this dream since I was a five years-old. I have discussed this with my two elder sisters, my parents and my counselor and all of them have asked me one question: “How?”

And as far as I’m concerned this is the only one question to which I have no answer. Beauty, complexion and acting skills are things which I already have. My English and accent are effortlessly, perfect. I know I will not have any issues fitting in as I have been to England, Australia and America and surprisingly found myself fitting in. It is in Pakistan where I don’t fit in, which is something even my sister says. I won’t have any financial problems as I took up the duty of cleaning and sweeping the kitchen in my own house, every day when I was 13 and I still do it. I get Rs200 per day.

The only thing I don’t have a solution to is that I don’t know how to achieve my dream. Auntie, please help me! What can I do? How can I achieve my dream? For ever obliged
Overwhelmed

Dear Dreamer,
Your Auntie here believes that they whole point of having a dream is for it to be a little unrealistic, otherwise what is the point? For instance, if no one had dreamt of flying we wouldn’t have planes. If no one had dreamt of instant access to information we wouldn’t have the internet. So it pays to be outrageous when you are dreaming and dream beyond what your rational mind thinks is attainable.

To move towards your dreams of Hollywood, you should have a vision in your head about what you want to achieve. See, taste, smell and feel your life as a Hollywood superstar. Close your eyes several times a day and dream of that life in technicolour. Then take a step towards your acting career. It maybe a small step such as becoming active in your college or school’s Dramatics Club. Just keep your eyes on your goal and take small steps towards it. Who knows how things could pan out? One thing could lead to another and if you have it in you, you could end up on national TV or even in a local film that gets noticed abroad. Indeed the universe conspires to bring your dreams to you if you are steady in your goal and turn a deaf ear to naysayers.

You might want to read motivational stories about people’s lives – people who started out with nothing but a dream and who ended up achieving that and more. So get clear on your goal, take the first step, stay motivated and let the universe conspire. You will end up somewhere, which is better than ending up nowhere. Happy dreaming.

Dear Khalajaani,
Recently I got over my ex and now that I think of it, I have realised that I have no love in my life, no crush , nothing . When I think of the time I spent with my ex I laugh at my mistakes. I don’t feel sad. I have nothing to be sad about and that is what worries me. I want to listen to sad songs and get carried away by the lyrics, but I can’t, because my mind can’t drift away in thoughts. I feel nothing. I have friends, but no one is special. I can’t figure out my problem, but I feel nothing for anyone. Is this a healthy feeling? Do you agree?
Numb

Dear Blessed,
Unless you are suppressing your emotions and in denial about your feelings, not feeling much is a blessing in disguise. Maybe you need time to digest the breakup and will react at a later date when it sinks in.

Or perhaps you are just a very peaceful person who does not have an overactive mind. When a crisis happens your mind does not race ahead imagining all the calamities about to befall you. Nor does it regret what has happened in the past and how things could have been different, because internally you feel that you are where you need to be in life. If that is the case, you are a blessed soul who lives in the present which is the most peaceful way to be. Maybe you don’t feel sad because you are not sad. And you see this as a lesson learnt about what not to do in the next relationship. Auntie does not think you have a problem at all. You just don’t have any useless noise in your head to distract you. Nor do you ‘enjoy’ problems like a lot of people do. People spend years meditating in monasteries to achieve what comes naturally to you.

The average person’s mind is full of a lot of needless noise. Your mind is focused and your thinking is probably very clear. You probably deal with many issues without panicking or freaking out.

Do not now start worrying about why you don’t worry. Be glad. However if you have trouble feeling happiness also, start counting your blessings. Make a list and write out all the things you are grateful for and dwell on it. It is good to feel grateful and that’s one feeling you should feel.

In the meantime, stay blessed.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to auntieagni@gmail.com