Contrary to what you may have been led to believe, that clown called Ronald has had no part to play in the origination or evolution of the hamburger. Neither has the little girl named Wendy, or Mr Wimpy or even the so-called King of Burger.
Believe it or not, legend has it that the mighty Mongols, also known as the Tartars, are directly responsible for what we today know as the hamburger — which has never contained any ham but is so-called because its evolution is deeply connected with the German city of Hamburg.
But that's jumping ahead in our story; back to the Mongols. Inspired by Genghis Khan and Helagu Khan, the fearsome army was so busy conquering the world that soldiers found little time to enjoy a hot meal cooked by the camp fire — let alone a home-cooked one. So they placed patties made with scraps of raw meat under their saddles in order to tenderise it and eat on the go. A 13th century version of 'drive-thru' convenience, so to speak.
This means that in 1258 when the Golden Horde savaged Baghdad by killing thousands of its inhabitants, burning down libraries and eliminating the Abbasid dynasty, they probably did so with a hamburger patty in one hand and a sword in the other. Truly horrifying I know, but please remember hamburgers don't kill people; people kill people.
Before they arrived in Baghdad, the Mongols had invaded and occupied western Russia. That encounter was smoother (if only by comparison), wherein the meat snack caught on among the Russian populace. In no time a dish known as 'steak Tartare' made primarily of finely chopped raw meat became a common feature of the local cuisine. The conquered people had come to believe that the diet of raw meat (including horse meat) was what made the Mongol soldiers invincible.
(Tartare sauce has nothing to do with Mongol-Russian culinary fusion; the pickle-speckled white fatty glob was invented by the French to accompany steak Tartare, or what they preferred to call 'beefsteak l'Americaine' and served with a raw egg yolk on top. Thereby proving that long before America's neo-conservatives retaliated with 'Freedom fries', the French were seeking ways to provoke the White House).
Steak Tartar made its way to the German port city of Hamburg some centuries later when Russian sailors came seeking trade with Germany. Over time, the Germans made the dish their own by cooking up shredded low-quality meat with local spices and renaming it the 'Hamburg steak'. German sailors and immigrants brought it to the US with them during the 1800s. By the 1830s restaurants in New York offered the 'Hamburger steak' and in due course started to serve it between two slices of bread or inside a bun. Which is how, over several centuries, a Mongol staple food with a German name became an American food icon which has conquered the world.
So it was only during the last century that the hamburger, as we know it today, came into being. Most popularly topped with lettuce, tomato, chopped onion, cheese and sliced pickles, the variety of toppings and condiments that can go into the making of a hamburger is by no means limited. Regional preferences mean that in Texas you can expect a hamburger topped with chilli, while in California a dollop of guacamole would not be out of line. There are rival schools of thought comprising those who believe that ketchup should be dribbled on to a burger, and those who don't; those who insist that pickles be used as garnish, and those who don't.
Clearly we have come a long, long way from the days of soldiers tenderising meat under their saddles. But that timeless question still remains to be asked would you like fries with that?
