Painting faces on wooden spoons to transform them into low cost dolls is a fad generations of little girls have gone through, the more inventive opting for wooden handled dish mops with their masses of convenient 'hair' ready to be tweaked into the most outlandish styles imaginable. Both versions wear faces invented by their owners, most of whom prefer smiley ones to frowns although, whatever the expression is chosen, that is 'it' forevermore. No matter what happens their expression doesn't, cannot, alter and they meet friend and foe, good news and bad with the same vacant look.
This is all fine and dandy as far as toys are concerned but transfer this facial paralysis to humans and severe problems inevitably follow. The 'wooden spoon syndrome', a term coined by yours truly and better known as shock, usually manifests itself hard on the heels of an out-of-the-blue personal catastrophe, so shockingly destabilising that it literally knocks the 'victim' off balance; the dizzying tail-spin they enter being far too much for their coping mechanism to take, they react by entering 'total shut down mode'. This can happen in seconds, minutes, hours, sometimes even weeks after the traumatic event but the result is the same a shutdown of rational thought and a facial expression that doesn't alter come what may. Think of the painted face of Judy that keeps smiling even as Punch batters the living daylights out of her and you will see what I mean.
The symptoms are clear. The person suffering shock, trauma or, as I call it, 'wooden spoon syndrome,' undergoes a complete metamorphosis of character due to reasons known or unknown. A previously outgoing, vivacious person becomes completely morose, a talkative one silent, a positively ambitious one a whingeing loser and the whisperers amongst us inevitably murmur 'It's the shock', 'they'll get over it in time' and other such platitudes as they quickly distance themselves from the problem.
Meanwhile the sufferer retreats deeper and deeper into a parallel world of their own creation. A world where the daily necessities of life increasingly lose meaning, where personal contact is abhorred and where they become vulnerable prey to any persuasive opportunist in the vicinity. Unfortunately, people in a state of shock or depression become a magnet for vile creatures, who prey on others' woes and use it to line their own pockets.
These obnoxious predators have perfected the art of asset stripping shock sufferers down to their last penny. It may be property they are after, jewellery, cash or even the very soul of the victim and they are quite prepared to beaver away towards their objective for as long as it takes. Like vampires, they suck their selected target physically, emotionally and financially dry, caring nothing for the husk they eventually discard.
Amongst their prime targets are the recently bereaved whom, unless they are securely surrounded by an impregnable fortress of family and friends, can be extremely vulnerable to the machinations of such fiends. Fiends who can spot 'wooden spoon syndrome' from literally miles away and automatically switch into attack formation as, quite often, they do not work alone.
In rare cases, someone afflicted with 'wooden spoon syndrome' may, albeit unsuspectingly, actually seek the vultures out of their own volition. Subconsciously realising that they need help, they may crawl from one doctor to the next, each visit becoming more and more expensive, the pills they are prescribed rendering them increasingly lost and vulnerable along the way with tests and additional tests draining their resources fast.
Alternatively they may seek salvation through giving alms to anyone who decides to ask, they may be exploited by 'Pirs', be unwittingly victimised by rouge religious organisations, et al. Whilst their resources are thoroughly scavenged though, there is one thing that doesn't change and that is their expression, which, if anything, becomes even more indelible as whatever tenuous grip on sanity they have so far retained, is slowly but surely leached away.
Those unfortunate enough to have developed 'wooden spoon syndrome' need all the heartfelt, honest assistance they can get, although they are highly unlikely to either admit this or even to realise the dangerous waters on which they float. It takes a very special person indeed to help them before they sink.
