I am glad you have at last understood the meaning of the word 'honorific.' You have also understood me correctly when I tried to tell you that the real names of great men should not be disremembered in order to call them by glorified honorifics.

“A great man should not be given any khitab (title). He does not need one,” said Babboo.

“What's that?”

“Why should great men be glorified with titles?” he repeated.

“Must you throw up a preposterous proposition every now and then?” I said.

“Obviously, you have failed to comprehend the meaning behind my 'preposterous proposition'.”

“Please elaborate your PP.”

“PP?”

“I am referring to your preposterous proposition.”

“Why should I? You are not a school boy. You should pay attention to what I am saying.”

“Are you saying that since you and I are NOT great men, the real great men in the country should be ignored and titles be conferred on you and me instead?” I said.

“There you are! This is what you have understood,” he said.

Ignoring his sarcasm, I asked, “Tell me honestly, how would you feel if a title was conferred on you? Wouldn't you feel great?”

“Far from it, I would feel very embarrassed.”

“Why, because you have this false notion that you are a great man and therefore do not need a title?”

Babboo looked a bit puzzled and did not reply.

“OK, tell me, if at all you accepted a title, what kind of a title should be bestowed upon you? You already have one - BABBOO - which is very funny. Everyone knows your real name is Mahboobul Hasan.”

“Babboo is not my title, stupid. That's my pet name.”

“You have been a pet too? What were you, a dog or a cat?”

“Can't you cut this silly conversation?” he said angrily.

We sat in silence for a few moments before I asked, “What were we discussing?”

“We were talking about titles and great men.”

“Oh, yes! You said great men should not be given titles.”

“Yes. That's what I said.”

“Can you give me one name of a great person who was not given some khitab (title) or the other by his people?”

“I can give you ten names. What was George Washington's title?”

I strained my mind, “Was he called 'Great Father'?

“Grandfather?”

“Not Grand Father! Great Father of the American People! Or, may be, Great Vanquisher of the Red Indians? I am not sure.”

Ignoring my reply, Babboo said, “What khitab was given to Abraham Lincoln?”

“Liberator of the Black?”

“Don't be silly! Forget the Americans! Tell me, what was Mao's title? What was Chou en Lai's title?

“Leader of the Great March? Visionary of the Yellow Race?”

“Now you are creating titles even for other nations? You should be careful.”

“No, I am just asking you. These titles fit these guys.”

“Forget the Chinese! What title was conferred upon Nelson Mandela?”

“Tormentor of the White Race?”

“Shut up! Tell me, what was the title given to Churchill after he won the war for the British?”

“I can't think of any title for him because the very thought of him brings to mind his cigar like a pole.”

“Forget the Brits! What was Che Guevara's title?”

“Smartest Cap this Side of the Pacific? Or just Smart Cap!”

“I think you have gone mad,” said Babboo. “OK, tell me, what titles were conferred on Beethoven and Mozart?”

I had run out of ideas, so I kept quiet. All I could think of saying was, “Churchill was conferred with knighthood. Wasn't he?”

“Sir Winston Churchill! But that's something else. I am talking about glorified honorific.”

“Glorified what?”

“Honorific!”

“What's that?”

“Forget it, if you don't know what is honour.”

I kept quiet. Suddenly a number of 'glorified honorifics' sprang from nowhere.

“You think I don't know what is glorified honorific?” I looked at him confidently.

“Tell me!”

“The Quaid-i-Azam! The Quaid-i-Millat! The Shaheed-i-Millat! The Madar-i-Millat! The Quaid-i-Awam! Daughter of the East! The Mufakkir-i-Islam! Sarhadi Gandhi! Baba-i-Urdu! The Aftab-i-Mauseeqi!”

“I am glad you have at last understood the meaning of the word 'honorific.' You have also understood me correctly when I tried to tell you that the real names of great men should not be disremembered in order to call them by glorified honorifics,” Babboo had a satisfied smile on his lips and he appeared happy with me.