I'm often informed what tragically difficult lives women lead, from being genetically forced to bear children to cultural pressure. Now, this has begun to really annoy me. Men get it, it's not cake being a girl. But let’s clear something up: it's no easier being a guy.

I doubt most women will agree with me (mankind has been losing arguments against women since Adam was hoodwinked by Eve’s convincing, “why don't you just try the apple... One small bite?”). But the fact remains, guys have their own set of problems.

Money: All parties, particularly match-making aunties, are concerned with how much we earn. After all, it's a man’s responsibility to make the dough. If a women decides to bring in a chunk too, that's great. Ultimately, though, it's the guy’s job for the very practical reason that if and when a couple have children, the break in the female partner’s salary shouldn't drastically change their standard of living.

Partnership: Girl's like to talk about the pressure they are under to get married and find the right guy. Join the club! For men, the stakes are much higher. In Pakistan, when a couple gets married, they usually move in to the guy's family home. A wife seems a lot less perfect when she is tightly ensconced within the man’s family unit than if the couple were to live in a different zip code.

And if it's a 'love' marriage, then you can be sure it's a diplomatic catastrophe waiting to happen. Men will always be blamed for not bringing home an ‘appropriate’ girl (publicly, the girl is admonished for trapping the boy), no matter how perfect she may actually be. Try placating your own mother and partner at the same time without taking sides, all while living in the family home and not going insane...I dare you.

Working: Women’s rights activists lament how few women there are in the workplace. As true as that may be, having women in offices throws off the long-established rules of cutthroat competition. If a woman comes in, does well, and gets promoted ahead of a similarly qualified guy, that’s equal opportunity. But if a guy gets promoted ahead of a girl, it’s sexism, favouritism, nepotism, and unfairism. We’d be lucky to get a card and a high five out of it.

Careers: For the most part, at least in Pakistan, women don't have careers, they have hobbies. Guys, on the other hand, are expected to have career goals. Plenty of women quit their nine-to-fives once they get married, or, in the very least, when they have children. But a guy has no way out. Trust me, a lot of guys I know would love to wake up late mornings, yell at the sweeper for being lazy, and then take an afternoon nap, but we don't get that option. If a guy has a mind-numbing, soul-crushing job, then he needs to man up. Women get to find themselves.

Jobs: If a guy has a boring, repetitive job, he ought to smile and bear it. On the other hand, if a woman has a boring repetitive job, it’s exploitation.

Decision-making: Women who make couple-oriented decisions without the man’s consent are liberated. Men who make decisions without consulting their partners are chauvinistic. Go Figure.

Errands: Does “Can you grab the laundry, fix the tap, and bring the pile of bricks indoors” sound familiar? Well, if you’re a guy, you've heard some version of this exploitation. Even though a guy will (eventually) do all that’s demanded of him, in our heads we're screaming: “Why can't you grab the laundry? Do I look like a plumber? What part of ‘I have a slipped disk in my back’ did you not understand? And can you please tell me why we bought a pile of bricks?” In her case, she’s asking you for a favour. If a guy were to make the same demands, he’s taking advantage of her.

Pain: Men are never allowed to express pain, and if they do, they risk being labeled as wimps. When women give birth, however, are they expected to pretend that the pain is non-existent? Nope, the doctor shoots them up with as many sedative drugs as legally permissible.

Material world: Guys are judged by their cars, shoes, watches, wallets, homes, and (preferably offshore) bank accounts. Women are judged on their looks and clothes. Which do you think is tougher to accumulate and more superficial?

Dating: For men, it is a privilege to pay for a date, and that should always remain true. But unless you’re the son of a seth, having to take your girlfriend to Aqua Lounge and Okra on a weekly basis gets extraordinarily expensive. Shopping expeditions are a whole other story: if we're dragged along, it's not for advice (we're obligated to say, “you look good in anything sweetie!”). Let’s be real, we’re there to tactfully pick up the bill and pretend that we really, really want to. In truth, when a guy sees the restaurant check or a girl’s shopping bill, he sees a potential X-Box down the drain.

The Big Idea: It’s as tough being a guy as it is being a girl. Society judges men in many of the same ways that it judges women. Since that’s settled, let’s stop hatin’ and start cooperatin’.