Movie review: Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters
A movie's title often tells you a lot about where it’s going, doesn't it? In "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", the new retro-spin Witch-hunting movie starring Gemma Arterton and Jeremy Renner, a witch is offed in 2.5 D (this is where cut-out animations try to get into the 3D fad) with extreme prejudice. The witch, out of a long-line of witches who die blood-splattering deaths in the credits, show that the brother-sister duo have been "professionals" for quite a while now; and despite being a tad bored by their enterprise, they don't waste their time on the job.
One of them, though, looks like she's made it to the plastic surgeon: she is Muriel (Famke Janssen), a grand-old witch who's after Gretel because of her "white-witch" heart. The last line was kind of a spoiler; but then again, in the screenplay by writer/director Tommy Wirkola (co-written by Dante Harper), there is no such thing as spoilers (probably because we've seen all of this before – most of the times in telefilms or direct DVD releases). Of course, Mr. Wirkola's film, which surprisingly credits Will Farrell as a producer, has a bigger budget to flaunt its routine throwing knives at audience in 3D. 3D is probably a good thing for the movie, not because of it’s in your face stereoscopy - far from it. It’s because the higher ticket prices and premium openings will help the movies’ box-office before the word of mouth actually kicks in. "Hansel and Gretel" is one of those fodders that had a bad-review coming ever since its first trailers came out (not that any critic is bias about any film beforehand, mind you). As the reels start rolling, it quickly becomes apparent that the movie is a collection of man vs. witch fisticuffs hanging on a scruffy plot that doesn't care to go into details.
Logic dies as gruesome the death of the film's witches, when at a point Hansel collapses and we find out that he's diabetic (was there even a cure for diabetes then? Who makes his insulin injections, I wonder...).
