You hate going to school — not because you hate school or studies, but because you hate being bullied. Well, you are not alone, there are countless children who get bullied, in one form or the other, at school and only those who learn to do something about it get to put a  stop this awful practice.Bullying means a person is picked repeatedly by another person or a group who seemingly have more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing. Bullying takes place in almost every school and in many forms — it can be verbal, physical or emotional. And you can even be bullied by your friends if they keep on making fun of you or tease you about a weakness of yours.

Both girls and boys can be bullies and victims of bullying. And the two main reasons for people to be bullied are because of their physical appearance and social status. Generally, bullies pick on people who they feel don’t fit in — it can be because of the way they look (being fat, short, skinny or wearing spectacles) and how they act (such as those who are shy, withdrawn, serious and studious).

Physical bullying can include any of these: shoving, slapping, punching, debagging, headlocks, pranks, stealing or causing physical injury. Emotional bullying is by keeping the victim out of a ‘group’ and getting a group of people to gang up against the victim, spreading mean rumours about someone, ignoring or provocating the victim, taunting and whispering in front of others. Verbal bullying is more direct like physical bullying and can include abusing, name calling, negative comments and verbal harassment. In this cyber age, another method of bullying has emerged and that is sending mean instant or email messages and posting insults and hateful messages to the victim on social networking site. This has come to be known as cyber bullying.

A person who is bullied tends to feel scared, nervous, angry, aggressive and distracted, begins to lose confidence and ends up with a low self-esteem. This is just what the bully wants. While all these are normal behaviour when you are being bullied, you need to get a hold on yourself and do something to stop being bullied.

Like they say that doing something bad is wrong, it is equally wrong to put up with it or be silent when others do wrong to you.

While it is not advisable to hit back at a bully physically, you must get into action of some sort. And it is better to use your wits than your fists to put a stop to bullying.

Here are some ways in which you can wisely handle the problem of bullying, whether it is directed towards you or your friends and teach a few lasting lessons to the bully.

Tell someone: Bullying must be reported. You should tell your teacher, principal, friends and parents or anyone who can give you the support you need, when someone picks on you for no fault of yours.

Sometimes teacher may ignore a few complaints by students because they feel that it is just some everyday quarrel that children tend to have. You need to make them realise that it is something that is disturbing you a lot and you feel scared in some way. Accepting the fact that you are scared doesn’t make you a real coward because accepting this and asking someone to come to your rescue takes a lot of courage.

Talking is also a good outlet for fears and frustrations that you might be feeling when you are being bullied. Adults are likely to resolve bullying problems without you getting into more trouble and the bully finding out how they came to know about it.

Tell your friends: If there is a bully in your school, there are chances that he is also bullying others. Tell your friends about it and maybe befriend others who are being bullied by him. Form a group and talk about the issue, as a group there are more chances of being able to successfully resist the bully and making him stop doing it. You can all try and catch him when he is alone and tell him to back off or he will get into trouble with the whole group. Once he knows you are not alone, he really won’t feel such a hero.

Don’t blame yourself: It’s not your fault that you are being bullied. No, contrary to what the bully may be saying to you or making fun of you about your weaknesses or shortcoming, remember, it’s not true. If it is making you lose confidence and have a low self-esteem, the bully is succeeding in putting you down. Have confidence in your abilities and don’t let him win.

Ignore the bully: Ignore the bully and simply walk away. Bullies want you to react and enjoy seeing you lose your temper. If you ignore the bully, show him that you are unruffled by his comments and actions, and you don’t care what he does and thinks, he will initially get angry but will eventually get bored and leave you alone.

Walking away is not a sign of weakness, in fact it takes a lot of self-control, so hold your head high and walk away, and this body language will send the message that you are not vulnerable to his attacks.

Don’t get angry: He wants you to lose your temper and control and get into a fight where you are likely to be beaten black andblue or get into a situation that leads you into trouble of some other kind. If you can’t walk away, there is no friend nearby who can rescue you and you have a brick wall behind you and the bully in front… well, face the situation and the bully with humour.

Okay so he is making fun of your glasses or walk or voice and you feel like punching him — don’t, just laugh at whatever joke he is cracking. This is sure to throw his off guard and if you are not crying or fuming at his stinging remark, bullying is no more fun for him. The last thing he wants is to see your smile and laugh and if you do just that, he will be shocked, probably lost for words and by the time he will make up his mind about how to react to this, you would have escaped into more comfortable company.

Once you get home, take out your anger by exercising, talking a walk or playing a sport that lets you release the tension. Or you can tell someone about it or just write it down in a diary.

Stay in a group: Research shows that those who are loners or are found alone by the bully get into trouble. The bully really isn’t as strong as he pretends to be and will hardly ever take on someone who has friends around him. So try to remain in a group as much as you can and tell your friends to come to you the moment they see the bully near you.

Don’t fight physically: Avoid, as much as you can, using physical force when dealing with the bully. You are bound to get hurt and maybe into trouble if it is in school, for the bully can easily twist the facts and put the blame on your for starting the fight and you can be punished. Aggressiveness only leads to violence.

Stand up for yourself in other ways — stand straight and look him in the eye, don’t flinch if he punches the air in front of your face.

Beat with confidence: Practice ways to face and respond to the bully in a more confident matter. Even if your voice is about to crack, try and control it. Everyone perceives a confident person as a strong one and avoids troubling them, so try and present a confident front to dissuade the bully from taking you as a weakling.

Focus on yourself: While you can’t control how others feel about you, you can still determine how you see yourself. Reflect upon the ways in which you will feel better and stronger, and start doing them. If you feel you need to take some martial art classes to learn a few self-defence tricks, then go ahead.

You can start exercising to build up some muscles, start a hobby or activity where you can excel and the resulting accolades will boost your confidence. This will also make those around you see you in a different light and start respecting you.

Don’t reply: If you are being bullied online or on your phone, don’t reply. Just delete the email, block or ‘unfriend’ the person on social networking sites, and just hang up the phone when the bully calls.

Tell your parents or an elder sibling/cousin or any adult you can trust and let them handle it. The most important thing is not to let the bully win by making you a less confident person or a scared one. Even if you can’t stop the bully from bullying you, you can stop yourself from letting it get to you.