Dear Auntie,

I am a 17-year-old who just finished a gruelling year of Cambridge Assessment International Education (CAIE) exams. I have a month and a half of vacation left, but I feel completely stuck. Earlier this year, I travelled abroad and the experience changed my perspective. I saw teenagers my age living with far greater independence — taking public transport, travelling between cities, cooking and enjoying everyday freedom.

Coming back home to Pakistan has been incredibly difficult. Suddenly, my world feels tiny. I have no pocket money, my parents are busy, I cannot go out on my own and any activity depends entirely on someone else driving me there. People keep suggesting hobbies such as baking, drawing or exercising, but they only occupy me briefly before boredom sets in.

I don’t want to spend my break doing more studying or random chores. I am struggling with the sharp contrast between the freedom I tasted abroad and the heavy limitations of my current life. How can I make this vacation feel fulfilling and create meaningful memories within these strict boundaries?

Stuck at Home

Dear Stuck at Home,

So, for a little while, you experienced what it felt like to make your own decisions, go where you wanted and do it all without having to ask for permission for every little thing. Of course, coming back home after that is bound to feel restrictive. Many young Pakistanis experience exactly what you’re describing after having been abroad.

At the same time, be careful not to romanticise what you saw. Every country has its own realities. Your parents are raising you in the environment they know and their protectiveness is because of the realities of the society they live in.

However, that said, this time your frustration is justified. At your age, it is normal to want a little independence. The problem is that you are waiting for freedom to arrive, before you can enjoy life.

If your parents won’t let you roam the city alone, how about you negotiate with them to allow you something they might feel more comfortable allowing. Ask them to let you go out once a week with friends. You can also ask them to let you learn to drive, if they are comfortable with it. Start taking responsibility for planning an outing rather than waiting for someone else to organise it.

Hopefully, small freedoms will lead to bigger ones, as your parents also grow comfortable with the idea. It can start with a bus or cab ride with friends to some place. You can also take greater responsibility at home, such as cooking one meal or managing your own money.

Consider this holiday that you took as part of the process of becoming more independent. Just take more ownership of how you spend your time and you will feel better. Read books you’ve never had time for. Watch films you’ve always wanted to see. Learn a skill that interests you. Visit friends and relatives you want to visit. Invite someone over. Start making the memories instead of waiting for them to happen.

In a year or two, you’ll be older and in university, so your parents will have to trust you more. University brings different opportunities and your world will expand. Don’t mourn the freedom you had abroad. Prepare for the freedom that is coming.

Published in Dawn, EOS, July 12th, 2026