Oh dear, I am so happy that I have been asked to write my experiences on Facebook. The social networking site has become an extended part of my personality and, as they say, I take to it like a duck to water. After initial hiccups I have shown all and sundry how tech-savvy I am and all my socialite friends from kitty parties and walking groups to neighbourhood groups are shocked, flabbergasted and taken aback all by turns. It proves that I am not a run-of-the-mill aunty but a high-tech and net savoir-faire one.

Well, to tell you the truth, FB provides me an excellent opportunity to upload my pictures and blatantly flaunt my riches, and you see how innocently I do that. Wherever I go I update my status so the whole world could know that I am at a fashion show, attending a ball, or having lunch and dinner at a fêted place. To keep my photos captivating I have to hit the gym to keep that well-toned figure. Oh, I know for sure that most of my friends are so jealous of my designer clothes, accessories and branded bags that they buy the same stuff after me and then pretend that they got it first. Oh, these new money people. But you know for sure that none of them can have my style and aura and that makes them green with envy.

And when I post photos of my numerous foreign visits they have to click the ‘like’ and write a compliment too. Ha ha, I know the feelings behind the comments, ‘oh so sweet’, ‘looking gorgeous’, etc. Oh, this is called double whammy.

The other advantage is that you can stock your exes and old flames very conveniently and keep an eye on them. You know whose relationship is complicated, who is having an affaire de coeur and whose marriage is in trouble. Oh what a convenience, now you are not dependent on those gossip sessions and lengthy phone calls to know what is happening in other people’s lives.

I want to share one more secret; I have discovered a website through FB which sells fake but first copies of branded bags. You know all those brands that make my friends’ heads spin and mouths water, like Burberry, Louis Vuitton, Chole, Balenciaga, Birkin, etc., In fact, you name it and they have it. I have most of the original ones but it is no harm in carrying fake ones too as no one is going to doubt it.

But you know like all good things in life, here is a spoiler too. My kids and hubby are not very happy with my FB friendship. They believe that the virtual world is an oxymoron and one should deal with real people and friends. All this crap gives me a headache. They have no idea that all these likes and compliments give my self-esteem a boost and flatter my ego no end.

I could go on but bye for now as my Facebook is calling me. Coming! n —Moniza Inam