SUNG well, qawwali is a great and inspiring art form. But with qawwals not of the first rank but of the second or third, it can be quite often a trying experience: the master qawwal, wearing a shining waistcoat and a cloth or Jinnah cap perched at an angle on his head, paan dripping from his mouth, face and lips twisted in a manner meant to be serious but which often is not, belting out a verse and the junior qawwals, to the sound of clapping, repeating the same.

Lest I am misunderstood, the qualification deserves repeating. Good qawwali is the first step on the road to the mystical highlands. Bad qawwali is a tickler, near-cousin to outright farce.

Something of this invitation to outright comedy can be caught in the solo and chorus voices competing with each other regarding the number one issue assailing Pakistan at the moment: the quality of General Pervez Musharraf’s wardrobe. Must he forfeit the glamour and status of the many mantles he wears by taking off his uniform, commando emblems and all, before the year is out? Or for the greater good of us all, can he keep riding into the future with his multifarious wardrobe intact?

Ever being his own judge and jury, let alone his own statistician, the general has let it be known that 96 per cent, no less, of Pakistanis support him on his version of the wardrobe issue: that the Constitution permits him to keep wearing his uniform past December 31.

Under the farsighted stewardship of Chief Minister Pervaiz Elahi, the Punjab general council or whatever of the ruling Q League has passed a resolution not imploring but positively demanding that in the higher national interest Gen Musharraf keep wearing the dual hats of president and army chief.

Not to be outdone, Pakistan’s answer to John Maynard Keynes, Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz, has come up with a constitutional first: boldly saying that in a parliamentary democracy, “...the holding of office of the president by the army chief,” I quote from a newspaper report, “is in accordance with the Constitution.”

The PPP-Patriots, who in the nick of time deserted the PPP to swim to the ruling coalition, were the original drummers, asserting much before the idea entered anyone’s head that the president under no circumstances should take off his uniform. Rao Sikander Iqbal and Makhdoom Faisal of the Patriots were the most vociferous in this regard. No wonder they rank high on the president’s list of deserving and right-thinking persons.

Rao Sikander has now outdone himself by saying that President Musharraf has all the qualities of Zulfikar Ali Bhutto. The Patriots may be small in number but they are proving unbeatable in literary creativity. The Bhutto comparison having been appropriated, Pakistan awaits the coming of the genius who will compare Pervez Musharraf to Muhammad Ali Jinnah.

So as even the stone-deaf can make out, the qawwali gets richer and richer. But this is all unnecessary fuss and bother. Gen Musharraf sought no one’s permission when he seized power in Oct ‘99. He is not likely to seek anyone’s permission if he thinks that he should continue to look his best in uniform.

Does the Constitution say anywhere that you hold a phoney referendum, or any other kind for that matter, and declare yourself president for five years? But General Ziaul Haq of sacred memory did this, even though the referendum he staged in Dec ‘84 was so embarrassing that when he appeared on TV the same evening to thank the nation for the great trust reposed in him, he who was otherwise so cool and collected, looked shaken. Twice or thrice, in full view of the cameras, he took out his handkerchief to wipe his nose and mop his brow.

Even so, the point remains that embarrassed or not, Gen Zia declared himself duly elected president. Following in his footsteps, Gen Musharraf also staged a referendum in 2002 which, although again a comic opera from start to finish, never stopped him from declaring that he was duly elected president for five years.

What does all this prove? That we have a Constitution which is alive and well but one subordinated to what the Supreme Court more than once has described as “the doctrine of necessity”. When an army chief is in power, what he says or what suits his convenience is the law of the land, anyone forgetting this being a fool of the first order.

The Constitution is there but not as a guiding or restraining force. It has been turned into an article of convenience, no sculptor being more creative with his materials as successive army chiefs have been with the Constitution.

If Gen Musharraf doesn’t wish to make any changes in his wardrobe, who is there to make him do that? Qazi Hussain Ahmed of the Jamaat-i-Islami? You must be joking. Qazi Hussain and his clerical comrades cast their votes for Gen Musharraf last December to give his rule constitutional sanction. What are they thundering about now?

Indeed, the clerical firebrands of the MMA are obliged to Gen Musharraf, for it is thanks to his political engineering that they have never had it so good. Their thunder is for public consumption. Ask any child, any political neophyte, and whether it is right or wrong, he or she will say that the holy fathers, whatever their public stance, are in reality hand-in-glove with the generals.

This serves the people of Pakistan right. The leading parties represented in the MMA never had much love for the Pakistan idea. The Jamaat-i-Islami was never able to stomach or stand Jinnah. Today these holy fathers, the guardians of our ideological frontiers, in secret concert with the guardians of our geographical frontiers (never mind East Pakistan), tutor the nation about the shortest route to the Promised Land. Some vindication of the Pakistan dream.

Remember those mafia movies in which every ‘family’ has a smart lawyer on its payroll? Whatever the mafia dons do, whatever outrages they commit, they take care to do it by the book, so that they are not on the wrong side of the law.

Permanent legal counsel to General Zia and then President Ghulam Ishaq Khan (who chewed up two National Assemblies) was Syed Sharifuddin Pirzada in whose hands the Constitution has been so much plasticine. To no one’s surprise, he has been Musharraf’s constitutional adviser since the Oct ‘99 coup.

In his long and distinguished career Pirzada has wrestled with far graver constitutional issues. In comparison, protecting the integrity of the president’s wardrobe is child’s play, the work of a single imaginative afternoon. So who’s sweating? Not the government. Not the prime minister who is already proving worthy of the trust placed in him. Certainly not Gen Musharraf whose personal gallup poll has just told him that 96 per cent of his fellow citizens are rooting for him.

The PPP and the PML-N don’t matter because they stand virtually excommunicated in this system. The mullahs are getting a bit hot under the collar not because they are straining to come to the Constitution’s rescue (leave that to fools) but because their game of collaboration is coming under the spotlights.

But not to fear, this will pass as will their momentary embarrassment. Then it will be back to business as usual, the MMA performing conscientious duty as Gen Musharraf’s most loyal opposition.

And, pray, why do pro-government musicians insist that the president remain in uniform? They predict chaos and worse if he does not. This is a flattering image of Pakistan to convey to the outside world: that stability in Pakistan hangs by a thread and is dependent on the health of just one person.

The world looks upon us as an unstable country and here our sharpest voices lend grist to the mills of our detractors by confirming their worst fears.

Government qawwals, however, don’t stop at this. They go one step further. They say that Musharraf’s being all-powerful president, with the power to make and break prime ministers, is not enough. For the nation’s sake, he must also remain army chief. If not, the heavens will fall, or so their dire warnings seem to suggest.

Then we wonder why Pakistan has an image problem and why no one with money to spare is willing to come and invest in Pakistan.