LAST week I picked up bootleg stuff worth Rs 6,122 from Islamabad and felt happy if not triumphant that at least for a few weeks in Chakwal I would not have to look to the local Christian Colony for moral sustenance. This morning (Thursday) I am feeling ashamed of myself. What would Rs 6,122 not mean for a family in Thar or the drought-hit areas of Balochistan?

This is a national emergency. It is also a challenge to what remains of our national honour after the piled-up humiliations of the last year and a half. If anywhere in Pakistan human beings and animals are dying from hunger and thirst, food and drink (and bootleg stuff) for the rest of us should come seasoned with a bad conscience. I say 'should' because immune to so much else, it is possible to be left untouched by starvation and suffering in remote regions most of us have never seen and perhaps never will.

But then other considerations prey upon the mind. If a dog went hungry by the banks of the Euphrates, said Caliph Omar, the Lord of the Universe would hold him responsible on the Day of Judgment. In the entire corpus of Islam there are no words more ringing than these. In Thar and parts of Balochistan not only are dogs dying but goats, donkeys, cattle, camels, men, women and children. This is an awful lot to answer for when the final bugles sound and the walls of Jericho come tumbling down.

Three days ago the caliph we have was gracing with his presence another of those meaningless functions without which Islamabad would not be Islamabad: a national conference on 'employment promotion, human resource development and industrial relations'. May God have mercy on us. Till this killer drought in the south lasts can we not do without such high-minded ceremonies?

The Chief Executive has acquired a reputation for being always on the move. For the next few months he might consider cutting down on his travel plans, leaving all else alone and reserving his attention for the calamity which has struck Thar and Balochistan. Like his counterpart across the border is it not high time he too went on television to make an appeal, an impassioned one if possible, for funds and other forms of relief aid?

But it is not only the government which needs to kick itself out of its torpor. What about the rest of us? What about the well-heeled citizens of Pakistan? If only they were to forswear their Black Label and their determined partying this summer, and put the money thus saved into a properly supervised national fund, there would be resources enough to fly - yes, fly - water to the thirsty regions of Sindh and Balochistan. If only they could forswear their foreign trips this summer imagine the money that would be saved.

We do not have to spread our hands before foreigners for this purpose. There are other disaster regions of the world competing for foreign sympathy and attention: Ethiopia, Mozambique, other parts of Africa, large swathes of India. Southern Afghanistan I have left out of this list because the West, and the US in particular, wants to punish and not help Afghanistan. We can come to the help of our own with our own resources provided: (1) there is a clarion call to arms and (2) some remnants of shame and humanity are still left in our hearts.

What then, as this cruel summer gets underway, should be the national agenda? To begin with, the caliph we have should get his priorities right: with a ruthless pencil he should cut pomp, glitter and waste from his schedule and devote the last ounce of national energy - or what remains of it after the constant exercise of cynicism and despair - to the plight of Thar and Balochistan.

A moratorium on seminars and similar functions at which the good and great like to congregate. No verbal histrionics, please, from Lt-Gen Moinuddin Haider. No further additions to the sum of national confusion on the part of the finance minister, Shaukat Aziz. For any three days running I find it hard to make out what his latest position is on tax survey and the documentation of the economy. Javed Jabbar was supposed to have his heart bleeding for Thar. What is he doing round the lecture circuit? In the constitutional petitions before the Supreme Court Sharifuddin Pirzada is regurgitating the same old arguments that a thoroughly tired nation has heard so often before. Is he being paid for his pains? Since this is not the age of miracles, very likely he is. Wouldn't this public money be better spent elsewhere?

The chattering classes need not sweat or worry too much. Just a bit of excess fat cut from their conspicuous and often tasteless consumption could mean the difference between life and death in the desert.

To the various jihadi organizations holding aloft the banner of righteousness a word is in order too. There is no greater jihad at the moment than the one waiting to be joined in the southern districts of Pakistan. Some of the intensity of these organizations needs to be turned in that direction.

But speed and a sense of urgency are essential. For better or worse General Musharraf is the commander of the faithful. More than anyone else it is his responsibility to sound the gong and summon up the spirit of sacrifice among the people. But before he does that he must rouse his government to a consciousness of its duty.

This government has justly been pilloried for its confusion and cluelessness. Six precious months (an eternity in politics) it has wasted without being able to find a direction for itself or the nation. The cup of popular patience is already full. Soon it might spilleth over. This is the chance for the government to redeem itself in its own eyes and in the eyes of the people, gullible as always, who saw the events of October 12 as the answer to their dreams.

The constitutional petitions in the Supreme Court, the plane hijacking appeal before the Sindh High Court, the Chinese torture that is General Amjad's concept of accountability, the district power devolution plan which is the smokescreen behind which wittingly or unwittingly confusion is being spread, the district monitoring system which has already demoralized the bureaucracy and looks set to further demoralize the people, are not the important issues before the country. All these pressing things can wait till meaningful (as opposed to token) assistance is rendered to the devastated areas of Sindh and Balochistan.

But what about myself who have been so free with advice? A bit, I must confess, like Joseph Surface, the smooth hypocrite in Sheridan's School for Scandal who is generous with his advice and little else.

The sense of contrition I felt at hauling bootleg from Islamabad does not mean that like Emperor Babar before the battle of Kanwaha I will break my cups or pour the guilty liquid down the drain. That would be a waste. In any case, the municipal drain in front of my house is so full of uncleared sludge (so much for the heroic exertions of the army monitoring team) that any honour done it will go unnoticed. What is more, from long experience I know the sad truth that with me the stern resolves of the morning all too often turn to dust by the time the day is done. No, there is little point in testing the flesh beyond its limits. But short of that there is still plenty that even slothful souls can bring themselves to do.

First, contribute in cash, which I propose to do, to any properly organized drought relief fund. Second, three months' voluntary service in the desert which I pledge to undertake with any decent NGO (are there any decent ones around?) or with something like Medicins sans Frontieres should it happen to set up camp in the drought-hit areas of Pakistan. A further pledge: while in the desert, no use of moonshine. From an occasional hauler of contraband spirits what greater sacrifice can be asked?