24 July, 2014 / Ramazan 25, 1435

Zero IQ Thirty

Published Jan 31, 2013 12:39pm

Recent Hollywood blockbuster, ‘Zero Dark Thirty’, was quite an experience. Though sharp in its production and direction and largely accurate in depicting the events that led to the death of Osama Bin Laden, it went ballistic bad in depicting everyday life on the streets of Pakistan.

With millions of dollars at their disposal, I wonder why the makers of this film couldn’t hire even a most basic advisor to inform them that

1: Pakistanis speak Urdu, English and other regional languages and NOT Arabic;

2: Pakistani men do not go around wearing 17th and 18th century headgear in markets;

3: The only Urdu heard in the film is from a group of wild-eyed men protesting against an American diplomat, calling him ‘chor.’ Chor in Urdu means robber. And the protest rally was against US drone strikes. How did that make the diplomat a chor?

4: And how on earth was a green Mercedes packed with armed men parked only a few feet away from the US embassy in Islamabad? Haven’t the producers ever heard of an area called the Diplomatic Enclave in Islamabad? Even a squirrel these days has to run around for a permit to enter and climb trees in that particular area.

I can go on.

The following is what I have learned …

Pakistan according to Hollywood

Zero IQ Thirty 12

Zero IQ Thirty 4

Zero IQ Thirty 7

Zero IQ Thirty 9

Zero IQ Thirty 2

Zero IQ Thirty 15

Zero IQ Thirty 14

________________________________

America in the eyes of Pakistanis

Zero IQ Thirty 6

Zero IQ Thirty 11

Zero IQ Thirty 16

Zero IQ Thirty 3

Zero IQ Thirty 8

Zero IQ Thirty 5

Zero IQ Thirty 1

Zero IQ Thirty 10

Zero IQ Thirty 13


Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com

 


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.


Nadeem F. Paracha is a cultural critic and senior columnist for Dawn Newspaper and Dawn.com


The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.

More From This Author

State of the nation

When we begin to identify ourselves as Pakistanis first, our watered down concept of nationhood will finally shape the

Comments (287) (Closed)


HNY2013
Feb 01, 2013 12:24pm
well isnt the perception of pakistanis being of arabic origin and not "indian" roots being taught all around ..............
curiousforeverr
Feb 01, 2013 12:07pm
on n I loved the way you've added "AL" to Eng n Urdu words in the pics.. "AL-Too Hilarious Paracha"...lol
Inayat
Feb 01, 2013 08:31am
very true! Ignorance on both sides.. that is what this war is all about. war of ignorance!
Kiani
Feb 01, 2013 08:23am
Zero Dark 30 was a fictional CIA propaganda. PAF knew when the Helicopters entered our airspace. Even the Army knew. They wanted Americans to do their Dirty Job. Unfortunately, a low life terrorist murderer is admired so dearly in Pakistan that our Country wanted someone else to clean up their mess. Every kid in the world knows that certain factions of ISI were hiding obl in Abbottabad.
abhishekou
Feb 01, 2013 08:31am
hahahaha that was best.
curiousforeverr
Feb 01, 2013 12:01pm
on n I love the way you've used "AL" in Eng/Urdu words in the pic Paracha...Hilarious ...or should I say "AL-Too Good"? :P ;) lol
curiousforeverr
Feb 01, 2013 11:58am
oh n I love the way you've add "AL-" to Eng/Urdu words in the pics... hilarious or should I say "AL- TOO GOOD" ? lol... ;)
AJ
Feb 01, 2013 09:25am
Wow. Just wow. You're a genius.
AJ
Feb 01, 2013 09:27am
Then what? You didn't complete the sentence.
AJ
Feb 01, 2013 09:33am
Hahahahaha!!!! Hilarious! Really feel for you guys man! You should see the stereotypes they show in movies where the location is India, or a character is Indian. Every indian man only wears a kurta, all women are decked up in gaudy jewellery and bright clothes even if they're just waiting for the bus, all of India is a slum, and all Americans going for work in India are coming for slum development projects, the list goes on and on. Lol!!
Pakistani Muslim
Feb 01, 2013 11:40am
bhai jee app koo pata hai kay pakistani qoom duniya kay har konay main mojod hai our mazay kee baat yeh hai kay pakistani koo apni pehchan nahin kerwani perti. pakistanion nay too in koo punjabi our urdu bhi sikhai hai. jahan tak too awam ka talaq hai un koo pata hai pakistani kea bolty hain our kea khatay hai. but what they showed that is funny. even they knew we are from indo-pak region. lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
curiousforever
Feb 01, 2013 11:43am
hahahaha...funnnyyyy...you cracked me up NFP..you turkey..!! .lol...very funny captions on the pics too..i'm gonna share it w/ my americans friends today...good job...also now i wanna see the flick too..will comment on that later perhaps.. lol.
B
Feb 01, 2013 11:37am
NFP, this was funny indeed, yet still, you manage to make Pakistanis look more ridiculous than Americans. What is wrong with you? I can assure you that even most educated Americans have s*** knowledge about Pakistan (as proves to be the case from Zero Dark Thirty). The same cannot be said about educated Pakistanis however.
AJ
Feb 01, 2013 09:38am
Actually that's not true. Native Americans were always referred to as Red Indians. But as and when political correctness got more and more aggressive in America, were they referred to as Native American, just like Negroes are now called African American. Red Indians were named so, as they were coloured people, and Columbus assumed then to be Indian. Later, to distinguish them from the "Dot Indians" ie the Indians from the country of India, the Americans referred to them in the now politically incorrect term "Red Indian."
Seher Hassany
Feb 01, 2013 11:24am
This is your best work so far.I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while. Thanks. Seher
Imran
Feb 01, 2013 08:45am
I would be the happiest person to see OBLs dead body dangling somewhere. However it defies belief that after a full decade of a manhunt, when they finally claim to kill him they follow it up with such a cover up. No pictures, no dead body while all the world was treated to Saddams and his sons pictures. Remember this is coming from a nation that swore on the presence of WMD in Iraq, attacked that country and almost a million people have died. So everything that the US claims needs to be taken with a very big pinch of salt. Americans lead the world in many things and also in the art of lying and spreading false propaganda.
Observer
Feb 01, 2013 11:00am
Then Pakistanis would have same fate as Indian Muslims. I hope people know how deep hatred and prejudice coming from Indians can be. Keep in mind Hindus in India are divided in castes for centuries. Muslims are even below the lowest caste (punishment that forefathers converted). Indian Muslims have to be Indian first, Bihari/Tamil/Gujrati/etc. after that, and Muslims then. Indians also carry scar of their country broken by the British into pieces. So, they would love to call Pakistan kind of a satellite province of India (in the name of joining hands). Indians want to conquer of Pakistan in economy, society, and military terms. They may not annex Pakistan geographically though. For our lives, Pakistanis have to compete with India in all fields. There is no other option. It is either competition or subservience. However, let us not war with India or any other country. Let us compete positively. Let us use recent Indian development as a positive inspiration. We can make Pakistan better too if we start working hard and create some unity among ourselves. It pains me when our cricket stars of the past talk about Indian team and suggest Tendulkar to retire and Dhoni to bat up in the order, and so on. Why don't they talk about Pakistani cricket. Similarly, too many Pakistanis carry a sincere desire to be friends with India. Pakistanis are fools if they expect reciprocity of sincerity from Indians. Pakistanis must keep in mind all the time that Indians are 1000 times more patriotic and ambitious about their country than we are. So, expect no sympathy from them. Just work hard and make Pakistan better too so that we are equal to India or slightly better in some feilds or slightly behind in some others. I can go on and on but newspaper comment section is not the place to let these honest feelings out. These can be misunderstood or ignored.
Shubs
Feb 01, 2013 05:26am
"Silver screen is reality in America, the street is simply a dull copy. Many if not most people here think 9/11 was staged." What a load of bunkum!!!!!
Khalid
Feb 01, 2013 10:51am
and you know what. their media is the one who feeds hatred to Indians. No matter English (targeted towards so called educated Indians) and local language.
Krish Chennai
Feb 01, 2013 05:27pm
Get the statistics right. 1/5th of Indians are stupid, 1/4th of Pakistanis are so, and above all, 1/3rd of the Americans are that ! Let's start with gun control, shall we ?
Mr.T
Feb 01, 2013 10:44am
Grow Up
Khalid
Feb 01, 2013 10:45am
Wow.. what a comment? would you mind reading it again for yourslef... that was nonsesne
Khalid
Feb 01, 2013 10:42am
you comment starts with "May be", you are not even sure. When someone thinks that a Pakistani mother tongue is 'Arabic' this is not just ignorance, this is studpidity or at least ignorance at its worst. in the end it is you who felt the 3rd degree burn..
Waseem
Feb 01, 2013 10:36am
Today I got to know that one (at least) of my Canadian friends believed that Pakistan's biggest crop is opium and Pakistan is the largest (may be the only) exporter of heroin. Problem is, these days electronic media and movies have become one of the largest source of informal education. Many people believe what they see in movies. Probably same is happening in non-world (world out side of us borders). Many people perceive Americans by their movie characters. This trend in increasing day by day. What you guys think the future has for us?
IndiaUSA
Feb 01, 2013 09:14am
Nobody gives a s*** about Pakistan in USA
Khalid
Feb 01, 2013 10:24am
Or may be most of Indians now think that finally NFP has joined LeT.
sattar rind
Feb 01, 2013 09:47am
nice
IndiaUSA
Feb 01, 2013 09:09am
Tariq, really too long...may be we have met..one of many assumptions Pakistani's make everyday...as far as visiting my Homeland..I do it very frequently
IndiaUSA
Feb 01, 2013 09:13am
Ofcourse the Pakistani ones
excalibur
Feb 01, 2013 10:09am
That is our problem we do not care a toss if Pakistan or our nation was maligned and stereotyped globally. Instead of getting into any investigative journalism and establishing that it was all a CIA drama and no OBL was ever there we gladly lend credence to the lie "WMD like" by endorsing the very objective of this stupid movie. Pity the nation!
aminaminahamza
Feb 01, 2013 10:06am
Sad but true. It is a shame that even thoughbour country is pictured so negatively in some flims, we hardly work towards improving the image
farid
Feb 01, 2013 05:43pm
You should read Pakistan's history. Who brought Pakistan to this stage? Who created and supported terrorists and corrupt army generals in Pakistan? The answers are the west and particularly America. You probably belong to the small number of Pakistanis who live in Islamabad and attended a class based western school. You don't even know what is happening in "CHICHUN KI MALIAN"
Imran
Feb 01, 2013 06:12pm
errr.........no. Sorry but you are wrong. Lost your bet.
Raoul Ciao
Feb 01, 2013 07:40am
NFP, it was Groovy. And then some......esp darth vader and the Islamabad traffic jam ;-)
Ali
Feb 01, 2013 07:38am
Great work
hassamkd
Jan 31, 2013 11:58pm
Hold on a sec. I live in Peshawar, And no one wears turbans here. Even if they do, they're hardly enough to be noticed. Most wear the chitrali topi. And we've had tons of afghan refugees here, they speak pushto or persian. Not arabic. In fact, in my 26 years in Peshawar, the only arabic i've heard is the maulvi at prayer time.
Ganesh
Feb 01, 2013 07:24am
Satire at it's best
Indian Harami
Jan 31, 2013 08:53pm
Yes they truly depict USA
Gautham
Feb 01, 2013 07:16am
Yes, dont trust the media. You can ask CIA about ISI or vice versa. You will get the same glowing tributes about each other. After all, they have been hard working Americans and hard working Pakistanis for almost half a century!
Farhan
Feb 01, 2013 07:14am
Hahaha - one of your better articles
Jamal
Jan 31, 2013 08:53pm
What is wrong in being friends with India, or any other country?
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 08:53pm
May be your man did not take you out there yet sweetie
Shubs
Feb 01, 2013 05:08pm
"Pak will solve its problems sooner or later, but with Hollywood feeding these 330 millions Zero Dark Thirty, will America ever rise again?" Delusion is sometimes useful as a source of humour.
Imran Siddiqui
Feb 01, 2013 06:22am
Thand pae gaee LOL.
farida
Jan 31, 2013 07:55am
I though you are picking up on Politics but it show your verstality - brilliant
abbastoronto
Feb 01, 2013 06:19am
Shubs: Greetings from Dearborn MI Many thanks for your comment. May I presume that if you picked up only this snippet as objectionable, you agree with the rest of the post? Best wishes
Ahsan
Feb 01, 2013 04:51pm
there is no other as awesome country as Pakistan. beauty, talent, resources. everything is here.
Amjad Iqbal
Feb 01, 2013 06:05am
This is why this film will not be shown in Pakistan.
A Rehman
Feb 01, 2013 06:05am
Bravo, something positive from NFP after so many decades.
Dr Khan
Jan 31, 2013 08:31am
Excellent piece of satire. It is said that truth is bitter but you always tell the truth in a sweet way.
G.A.
Jan 31, 2013 01:30pm
Late Edward Said called it 'Orientalism'. This is how Europeas always depicted East - a exotic land of fairy tales, magic, Ali Baba and Arabian Nights. But that was when they were illiterate and living in poverty. Despite multi-culturalism, the East hasn't changed much for the Americans.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 08:51pm
What does the Govt of Islamic Republic of Pakistan has to say about the truth? Was or was not OBL in that house that was raided by the SEALS or what was the identity of the people who were killed, or who were left alive. Did the Media investigate the truth? Did the Justice department seek answers for this question. Why are you looking for answers from others when things happened inside your own home.
Alam
Jan 31, 2013 02:29pm
That fits for us.we are a country who goes to war, loses lives, loses respect, flies to Washington, pays our PM's dinner bills , and then declares it as a great victory... what we do in war, they do in movies...(exaggeration !!!!)
BRR
Feb 01, 2013 12:16am
Interesting, and funny.
Trent
Feb 01, 2013 12:12pm
Care to bet? Post your phone number and I can have all my Pakistani brothers give you a call tonight to prove it. Your comment says that no one from Oklahoma would say spot on. HOW DO YOU KNOW? Do you live here? LOL. Wow we just found a similar case of stereotyping that the author of this article is pointing out. Seems to me you like so many other people love to complain when one side does you wrong, but you totally fail to see yourself when you do the same thing back. Get an education buddy it would serve you much better than the thought process you have now.
bluescreen
Feb 01, 2013 12:32pm
From pakistan with love (to OBL)
curiousforeverr
Feb 01, 2013 12:33pm
Well said Abbas..but you can't deny the fact that so many Americans ( don't know how it is in Canada) are so ignorant about Pak and what really goes on in the country and all their knowledge is based on what media is feeding them,like NFP also pointed out how Pak is depicted in this particular movie,that doesn't really help either...!
HNY2013
Feb 01, 2013 12:33pm
It happened in your country, right next to your capital. You are the one who should know the truth and go about debunking the lies. But sadly all i hear is you all saying what US did was not true and it was just a cover up. Arey bhai why doesnt ur government, ur media, or you go and find the truth? If they are lying then you are a party to it too. So admit that.
HNY2013
Feb 01, 2013 12:21pm
Why the fixation with Bollywood? Hollywood made a movie like Charlie Wilson’s War" and will keep on making more, cus it is their choice, their public pays to watch these kind of movies. And isnt it because of the $ that you have and still are in foreign shores and not working in your homeland.
curiousforeverr
Feb 01, 2013 12:14pm
okay,disclaimer people : my last comment for some reason wasn't showing up so i wrote it again AND again n the next thing i know ALL of them are popped up...lol..so ignore any two of them ...! ta ;)
Karthik
Feb 01, 2013 12:32pm
awesome funny!!! This is really hilarious. I think you have portrayed realistic perceptions.
Trent
Feb 01, 2013 12:19pm
I just did and again why do your stereotype Americans and come on here and get offended when some Hollywood producer does it to you. I post a message of peace and hope and you want me to take a hike. There will never be peace in this world as long as there are people like you that never want to see positive changes. I will admit that here in Oklahoma I have a lot of work to do to educate my fellow people. My state is full of gun toting rednecks that could careless about the countries that border us let alone a country on the other side of the Earth. This world is full of uninformed ignorant people, and it's going to take real education to overcome that. Not listening to the person with the loudest mouth. Instead of ripping me and trying to look tough, try to be positive for our earth and for our children.
Zack
Jan 31, 2013 09:25pm
In addition, I know a Pakistani who just opened a new restaurant name "Alladin" northwest of Chicago.
IndiaUSA
Feb 01, 2013 09:10am
I think the Pakistani Ones... lol
observer
Feb 01, 2013 03:25am
Caption of this piece is great.
observer
Feb 01, 2013 03:43am
I am sure Dawn will not publish my comment (Dawn loves India like rest of new Pakistanis have a tendency of trusting India). But most of the damage to Pakistani reputation was done by intelligent young, professional Indians living everywhere. Indians consider their moral duty to malign Pakistan on every forum possible in all sorts of ways including the most subtle ones. I am not saying Pakistan is a piece of heaven but Pakistan is unfortunate to have two most influential lobbies against it: Israeli and Indian. Then is it surprising that Pakistan is depicted worse in the media than it actually is? I am not promoting hatred towards India here but I want Pakistanis to not trust India and keep their country in mind all the time. It is perfectly okay to normalize relations with India and defuse the threat of war and resolve pending disputes. But don't let that sense of positive competition go or ambitious Indians will be all over Pakistan. I sincerely hope my message is not misunderstood. (I can bet that scores of Indian software developement companies will hunt for Trent and offer his company better cooperation from India if Trent's company abandones Islamabad-based partner company in favor of some Indian company).
observer
Feb 01, 2013 03:48am
Friends with India? Jamal think about what you are saying. Do you really believe India can be a friend of Pakistan? At best India and Pakistan can be two untrusting neighbors (I hope not two nuclear war parties). However, if Pakistanis keep condemning Pakistan as Indians want them to do, fairly soon Pakistan would be a subservient state to India and then you know what.
BRB
Feb 01, 2013 03:50am
but its a movie!! and the americans have zero responsibility to e 100% accurate on lame shit like a few words of arabic spoken or head gear or whatever. the priority of the movie is this womans struggle to this goal... not the correct depiction of pakistan. the movie is not made for pakistanis. its made for americans and we all know that they dont even know anything about canada and they are arrogantly ignorant. so whats the point of getting every pakistani detail correct when it is more than enough to make a chor protest give an idea and feel of protest to white people to move the story forward. its a cinema. not a national geographic documentary on pakistan. in fact in the movie pakistan doesnt have a real role to play other than historic accuracy with its name, its just a prop in the movie. I nfact im pretty sure the house that osama was hiding in wasnt really the house he was hiding in. I dont see you complaining about that detail or the structure of the house or whatever whatever. I am indian and I 100% know all the things that were depicted wrong in the movie. but its ok to do that. all you have to do is when someone says is that what pakistan is like or.. you say no and point out the inaccuracies. simple. dont waste your time feeling offended and as people .. we need to stop relying on movies to get our information. you cant not rely on any media.. but lets just take movies with a pinch of salt. meet people, spend some time with them and THEN judge them and be racist.
Bacha Khan
Feb 01, 2013 03:50am
Pathetic...just can't face the reality ..right??
Adi Venkata
Feb 01, 2013 06:29pm
EPIC Article. I would love you to a Pak-Bollywood pience
moazzam sheikh
Feb 01, 2013 03:57am
hilarious!
abbastoronto
Feb 01, 2013 04:01am
OOPS. I meant Hollywood. Many Thanks. Apologies.
Ahmed
Feb 01, 2013 04:04am
Interesting !! But you, once again based on your bias, have given more weight to the stereotyping in Pakistan for US than in US for Pakistan. At least, in Pakistan, the young generation knows a lot about US, hollywood, their movies and wish to go for higher studies there...Your middleclass, upper class and educated class too. !! but what about US ? They only take us as insects, terrorists and third class human beings.
scherie
Feb 01, 2013 04:14am
So goes for Sex and the City
ubaid ibne shah
Feb 01, 2013 04:26am
This film was for those ill people who get health when they see any bit of hatred for pakistan and its people.
Jamal
Feb 01, 2013 04:27am
Haroon, you are right on the spot. I live in the United States. Did you see this article about agent orange? Mr Alan should definitely read it. http://cnnphotos.blogs.cnn.com/2013/01/30/effects-of-agent-orange-ongoing-silently-in-children/?hpt=hp_c3
Agha Ata (USA)
Feb 01, 2013 04:29am
NFP. Are you still there?
Akhtar S. Chughtai
Feb 01, 2013 04:31am
Insanity par excellence. Is this really a Hollywood production? They need to go back to school.
hifsa mahmud
Feb 01, 2013 05:13am
lol...too gud...n as always rite on the mark!
chumpie
Feb 01, 2013 05:16am
lol, he did take advise from an Indian for sure.
Shubs
Feb 01, 2013 05:19am
And no American will identify himself as a 'white American' without any context...:-) Take a hike, "Trent"!
F Siddiqui
Feb 01, 2013 05:22am
HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Spot on.
Zahida Raza
Feb 01, 2013 05:32am
Interesting review...
PakistaniAmerican
Feb 01, 2013 05:46am
I am an American ( with Pakistani heritage). Trust me most intellectual Americans are not very proud of our 1/3 stupid population but every country has a fair share of stupids and it creates diversity. If everyone in America was intelligent then they did not need any foreigners who practically represent 50% of American intellectual capital. However, I do not agree with NFP's assessment about director and producer being stupid. No, Kathryn Bigelow is not a stupid person. Contrarily she is very intelligent director. So, why did Kathryn totally lost the script when it comes to presenting the correct picture of Pakistanis. There are several reasons but few important reasons. 1) The target audience of this movie is redneck White guy. These are the people who assume Pakistani is a Middle Eastern country with Arabic speaking people who are very backward. Trust me majority of Americans are not this way only 1/3. 2) In Hollywood, no Middle Eastern movie is completed without showing medieval looking people, camels and sound bites of Arabic language. 3) Pakistani is a Muslim country and some forces in American media deliberately trying to show Muslim culture in negative lights. The movie offers perfect opportunity since it will be watched by a huge western population. 4) If Pakistani people were shown as real, it would be highly boring. It would be just India not Pakistan (assumed). I think you got my point. I hope NFP next time you would offer a better critical analysis.
Omair Mahmood
Feb 01, 2013 04:42pm
Guys, you must read my blog post on similar topic. http://newsexcuse.blogspot.com/2013/01/what-zero-hot-thirty-tells-about-cia.html
Gujesh
Feb 01, 2013 05:53am
Good. But some of the Pakistanis might be tempted to think that at last NFP has fallen in line.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 08:39pm
Wikipedia says: As of January 28, 2013, Zero Dark Thirty has grossed $69,904,000 in the U.S. and Canada, along with $7,700,000 in other countries, for a worldwide total of $77,604,000 and thus becoming the top-grossing film of its wide release premiere weekend.
Shumaila
Feb 01, 2013 06:55pm
This is totally, media driven, foolish controversy propaganda.... i wonder anyone sensible would believe it?? no way, i know foreigner living in Pakistan over twenty years and they even do not want go back to their countries. How stupid the media licensing system is whoever passed these movies... I am really wondering on the qualification of the people who work there. To know the real picture you can just open any Pakistani Channel for five minutes... I can just laugh on this childish unprofessional mock over any foreign culture. I pity the country who has professionals with this kind of approach towards Work.
Aamir
Jan 31, 2013 11:02am
Movie makers arent dumb. They do this to keep their public misinformed just as we do to our masses. Loved the piece, NFP. In the movie Vertical Limits, a pakistani general tells the white guy that we fought 3 wars with India yet we love Indian tea.. Pakistanis love african teas. 70% of our cup has Kenyan/African teas and the rest of 30% is made up with teas from various countries, including India. So, this is not because the makers of movies are misinformed. Its about keeping their people misinformed.
ranganath
Jan 31, 2013 10:48am
You are not an admirer of NFP if you have not understood this plain and simple satire. This article is his signature.
raw is war
Jan 31, 2013 03:51pm
lol. last cartoon was really the master piece.
Nariman ansari
Jan 31, 2013 07:52pm
Brilliant!! :P LOL
Shubs
Jan 31, 2013 10:43am
Nadeem, welcome to the club. After half a century of elephants and snake charmers, now Hollywood-India has graduated to call centers. And oh, the elephants are snake-charmers are still on the roads just outside the call-centers...:-) And did you notice the Chinese with the notoriously bad teeth, or the effeminate English, or the scheming cowardly French, not to mention the brawny but dumb-as-rocks Russians? Where would Hollywood be without its stereotypes?
Khan
Jan 31, 2013 04:03pm
@uroos and what makes you believe the stories told about osama being actually in Pakistan and then killed? any proof given until now?
Atif Zubair
Jan 31, 2013 07:46pm
This not the only example, in Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol, in Dubai just underneath Burj Khalifa all the ladies were in veil and streets were of 18th century and in the same movies all the futuristic cars were shown in India, along with the ultra modern car park. Bhai Jaan yeh sub Yahoodi saazish hay! deliberate.
Pakistan.Voice
Jan 31, 2013 11:46am
I follow your work on dawn a lot.. not because i agree with what you say.. its because i wanna see the world from anothers perspective.. though this is the first time ever that i cant find a single point from where i could disagree from you. loved this piece from you, sir!
Akbar
Jan 31, 2013 10:02am
Yallaaa gooodi articalaaa habibii ..... Agreed - why in the earth didnt the movie maker hire some one to help them know about Paki culture? ...if this movie gets an award -Yallaa Oscaraaa ridiculousaaaaaa .....
maha
Jan 31, 2013 09:57am
Excellent .... a great piece about the mindsets of Americans -
IndiaUSA
Jan 31, 2013 09:44am
Ironic...but most of the pictures are rather true
IndiaUSA
Jan 31, 2013 09:46am
I have been in the US for around 5 years now, and they don't think of India as just poverty any more, they think of us as people who are stealing there jobs.
murali
Jan 31, 2013 09:52am
Hollywood has faltered on many occasions but as much as this. NFP is 100% correct here. had the movie been allowed to be shot in Paksitan, the results would have been closer but no one would risk their money to shoot at a place with such grave security concerns.
Hasan
Jan 31, 2013 09:55am
Love the depictions. I have some American friends and still they could not understand that I am a Pakistani then why i cannot speak Arabic and also why I always tell them that we grow our own vegetation and food despite Pakistan is a desert as a whole with no water and only camels.!!!
Gulbaz Mushtaq
Jan 31, 2013 02:42pm
Why are you so genious ??? GREAT!!!!!!
karenmcfly
Jan 31, 2013 09:35am
Epic
Rabia
Jan 31, 2013 09:34am
For heavens sake, amar, this is SATIRE!! It's supposed to be exaggerated. This is typical NFP: Taking absurdities of reality and commenting on them with absurdest satire. Relax.
Tariq
Jan 31, 2013 02:52pm
Hilarious article, though hardly surprising hollywood depicts Albakistan as it does, if the navy seals were able to dupe our whole security apparatus and launch an attack next door to our elite army barracks then uncle Sam's citizens will have carte blanch to portray that country how they wish?
Khalid
Feb 01, 2013 03:08pm
this time leave the India trip and look for a doctor.. lol offcourse...
Mr Singh
Jan 31, 2013 04:07pm
hahahahahahaha. paji you have shown why you are champion of satire.
San
Jan 31, 2013 03:36pm
Good One, Ya Habibi :-P
amar
Jan 31, 2013 10:24am
Rabia, I know it's a SATIRE and SATIRE is certainly not absurd , but the use of sarcasm, ridicule, in exposing, denouncing. What I found in PAKISTAN in the eyes of AMERICAN perfectly true, but not AMERICA in the eyes of PAKISTANI. That's why told for self introspection. Certainly not a NFP standard piece.
Iftekhar Mahmood
Jan 31, 2013 10:21am
Hilarious... NFP, in your second part, you didn't show the tree on which dollars grow in the US for easy pickings...
Guru
Jan 31, 2013 10:22am
Morons are universal. NFP found some in the western side. Hilarious :-)
pakistani
Jan 31, 2013 04:08pm
first we should make Pakistan jugular veing to Pakistan that our Quid-e-Azam said, *Kashmir is the jugular vein of Pakistan* only then thinking of becoming something in southAsia.
pakistani
Jan 31, 2013 04:10pm
well said. second to your thought.
hassam khan
Jan 31, 2013 10:18am
very simple argument to be placed.... pakistanis are a third world nation with rampant illiteracy and masses that doesn't have the access to information or even water to clean shit. ..... but when a first world country produces film like this ... there is only one reason behind it ... that is propaganda ... i would like you to comment on the international implications and perceptions of this film
Aamir
Jan 31, 2013 03:38pm
hilarious and true for both Pakistanis and Americans
IndiaUSA
Feb 01, 2013 09:09am
and Pakistan
Samresh
Feb 01, 2013 12:48pm
I bet most of the Pakistanis love being mistaken for Arabs. They would like Pakistan to be how you have depicted.
syed
Feb 01, 2013 12:56pm
Living in NYC i can relate to what is written in the article about the American's perception of Pakistan. Things that i have come across are; - Pakistan is in the middle east - Do you have cars in Pakistan? - Is there really a McDonalds in Pakistan? - It must be really hot living in a desert. - How come you know how to speak English so well and on and on Nice comeback about the amreekans NFP.
ahmad butt
Feb 01, 2013 05:13pm
The West are not entirely ignorant, they just portray ignorance as a sign to show their arrogance and as if they really dont care to know about others. They also think the non-west are not worthy of understanding, and pretend to be total idiots at times, this is where the cream of highly educated people from third world countries have to compromise and live with the fear of being racially slurred, better than having life threat.
Irfan Butt
Feb 01, 2013 01:01pm
Wow, Nadeem F Parach. If memory serves me, this is the first time you have criticized anything "western" in favor of Pakistan. Why the sudden change of heart buddy?
saba
Feb 01, 2013 01:35am
pakistani officials gave the US the information a year before the incident... it was a re-election tactic for obama.
sir
Jan 31, 2013 08:19pm
Americans won't be offended by that stereotyping really....they'll acknowledge it....
Imran
Feb 01, 2013 06:46pm
Alan, what do the Americans think about the fact that no WMD were ever found in Iraq but still they went ahead with their invasion which has cost more than a million lives? I think America leads the world in false propaganda.
Olivia Mukhopadhyay
Jan 31, 2013 10:14am
Just because "majority" holds a perception doesnot mean its true.India had the same problem with SLUMDOG millionaire ,India has some very poor slums ,yes but the entire country is not Dharavi.And NFP did a great job,what are you on about?
rajiv
Jan 31, 2013 10:14am
I am sorry to see NFP miss the point that Americans dont want to learn any culture except their own.. they are happy with it and know the whole world follows it... They intentially used arabic language and guys with that kind of headgear and surrounding to give more intensity to the movie.. even though its based on facts, its still an movie and need some story building and thrill to succeed...
abbastoronto
Feb 01, 2013 02:38pm
Yep. Paisa wasool. "If Pak were shown as real it would be highly boring" - lol, no LOL. The yawn factor of Pakistan is pretty below ground. But I get your point.
AM
Jan 31, 2013 03:41pm
Actually I disagree about the depiction of Pakistan. I didn't think much of the movie itself. However, after the US invasion of Afghanistan, many al-Qaeda operatives (Arabic and Afghan) fled into Pakistan. These operatives were captured by the CIA and by the ISI and were in fact Arabic. These are the people shown in the movie speaking Arabic. As for the head garb, maybe you haven't noticed the change in the inner cities and in KP, growing number of religious groups are donning taliban-style turbans. It's not uncommon to go into Peshawar now and see large groups of people wearing these. Overall, the movie was well-made and well-researched. Where the movie faltered was in showing just this one side of Pakistan (the bad side of it). But then again, Americans have their typical blinders on and only see one side of it.
Olivia Mukhopadhyay
Jan 31, 2013 10:11am
@Maha: And Pakistanis?
citizen
Jan 31, 2013 10:11am
It is common in Hollywood movies to depict other parts of the world with such reduction to the prevalent stereotypes. I just wonder if the people who make these movies are genuinely that stupid or they just simply don't care about the rest of the world and there sensibilities.
Tyagi
Jan 31, 2013 07:43pm
May be because of their ignorance, they just depict whatever less/more they see. But you on the other hand show your ignorant attitude more than them out of frustration and a sense of inferiority. Of course they might be using sarcasm in movie or in the news, but your response on the other hand becomes the lower of the lowest intellectually. You start using kids and Jews for your counter defense. In the end, you turn out be a looser as they do not give damn about you and your articles, but certainly you do a lot to their. They are not lining up in front of Pakistani Embassy and begging for the VISA to migrate to their country. It’s you who does it. Whether you like it not or publish it or not, the reality is harsh you know it, I know it, and the entire world knows it. And you will make sure that it will turn worst.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:53pm
Abasyn bhai, you are the voice of Pakistan you always speak the truth ....YOU tell us about the facts ....we are all ears. Do not let them fool us. YOU tell us abt OBL, his hunt, his whereabouts, is he alive or dead?
Khizar
Jan 31, 2013 12:50pm
So this movie is made by a citizen of a country where their own teams play american-football (the sissy version of rugby) against each other and the winner becomes world champion. Though it would be good if the implications of such propaganda are commented on. The article itself is a piece of art and very nicely thought out. I agree with every aspect of it.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:48pm
So isnt the movie banned in Pakistan, so why bother. Or is this the way to increase the interest in the movie?
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:46pm
Hahaha: To answer your question who makes this movies? Well people who know they can get rich after making such movies. And guess what they r happily smiling to their banks now.
Sonu
Jan 31, 2013 12:47pm
I would love to shake your hand sir.... someday..... and perhaps smoke a sneaky wacky backy ciggie with you
Tahir Ali
Jan 31, 2013 12:47pm
LOL! Loved it. Both parts: How Hollywood sees us and how us Pakistanis see America. You're a special kind of crazy, NFP - someone unique to both India and Pakistan. Even though I also love your serious articles, but your satire pieces are wonderful.
Vinayak
Jan 31, 2013 12:45pm
Insteresting display of idea. It is unfortunate that Film critisicm do not always reach the mainstream domain. It it was the case, it would help in empowering the western public of the changing global scenario.
doctorsmonsters
Feb 01, 2013 07:50pm
Totally agreed! There were some other obvious things like: The US embassy is a building as modern as one can be, but in the movie its like a century old gov office. Marriot Islamabad, I was seriously offended by how bland they showed it in the movie! Oh and there was a sign that had stuff printed in devnagri script! How can they ignore that?
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:41pm
The idea of making movies is to entertain and not inform. People take movies so seriously and want information out of it. For information watch documentaries on National Geographic or BBC
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:44pm
Rajiv never said anything about American Culture. And the Aboriginal were in Australia. America had native red Indian. Pakistan is only a 66 years old, so does that mean we have no culture or did we carry it from Indian culture?
Fahad Ahmed Qureshi
Jan 31, 2013 11:19am
Doesnt matter what they want to or have depicted Pakistan as, the fact remains: Pakistan is the Golden Sparrow in today's world. It is the jugular vein of the Asian Market and it will soon be proven :) So as I say, raise your voices with me: PAKISTAN ZINDAABAAD! <3
mshaiq
Jan 31, 2013 11:18am
All I want to say is... HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:39pm
The picture with the Autorickshaw was that clicked in Pakistan?
zia bugvi
Jan 31, 2013 12:40pm
wity and hilarious; make its series as well :P
Awais
Jan 31, 2013 12:38pm
garam :D
Grammar Nazi
Jan 31, 2013 03:04pm
*Their
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:29pm
The reason is economics/ market sensibilities. They are making a movie which has to sell in the US and people in US. They are not making a documentary on National Geographic. Watch any subcontinent movie and see how we represent Americans or Africans. Honestly if they show the reality the audience would not be able to make out if its India Pakistan or Afghanistan
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 12:37pm
Golden Sparrow? Jugular Vein of ASAIN market? Please explain...............with logic and facts or were you also using satire as NFP?
Does not matter
Jan 31, 2013 11:16am
:-) As usual love what you write.
Ss
Jan 31, 2013 11:12am
Never saw the one about birds flying upside down over Pakistan cos it ain't worth a Dump!
Uroos khan
Jan 31, 2013 03:31pm
I think there IQ is brilliant ,making them get away with whatever they want ,,it's our iQ that is Zero , we didnt bother even thinking and asking if the stories we were told of Osama being in Pakistan were true ,,,?? ...what abt that .
Urooj
Jan 31, 2013 03:43pm
Yes plz ask him ,,we Pakistanis forgot to ask this very important question ??
farid
Jan 31, 2013 12:20pm
I don't agree with you. There is not thing called "American Culture". America has no culture or history . The country is hardly 500 years old. Real American culture should be native(Aboriginal) culture, the original owner of the land. Have you even heard about it?
abasyn
Jan 31, 2013 12:00pm
how could you know that events which led to the death of Osama were accurately presented. Oh! you also pitching hollywood as a consultant on Pakistan
Shahid
Feb 01, 2013 02:02pm
NFP can find humor in any thing . He knows the story of both sides. Only a few do.
Tauseef
Jan 31, 2013 11:05am
well you can always tell them that globalization has its pros and cons, compete or die!! :P (they should watch the 3 Idiots and "Koyl birds scene" :P
aku
Jan 31, 2013 12:17pm
On a more serious note, this is exactly how a propagnda movie is supposed to depict Pakistan. And for an average american, he does not care what "....istan" it stands for. For them all is part of "alif laila". That way the story becomes more interesting...
uchak
Jan 31, 2013 11:02am
hmmm....the arabic and headgear was to show the future of Pakistan. This was a futuristic movie..... a lot like star trek etc. Yhe Picture ones were superb and spot on.
Mujaahid
Jan 31, 2013 12:16pm
You are pissed! remain angry for a while, good for health.
amar
Jan 31, 2013 09:26am
NFP, I am your great admirer, however this piece of work did not seem to be your's. Question is what made others think so about your country. Here ISLAM is supreme and country is ruled by Terrorists. I don't find PAKISTAN in eyes f American as hilarious as majority of the people on this earth have similar perception about that country. However AMERICA in eyes of PAKISTAN was certainly not in a good taste at least not from the pen of NFP. Instead of criticizing others, we need to introspect to find out why others are thinking about us so and take corrective measures to correct the perception instead of depicting through vulgar pictures/statements and cartoons.
farid
Jan 31, 2013 12:13pm
Great idea. Pakistan will be Saudistan in approximately 25 years.
farid
Jan 31, 2013 12:11pm
Which planet do you live on?
Imran
Jan 31, 2013 03:01pm
err....which ones for instance?
Vikas
Jan 31, 2013 12:10pm
Yes,"poor people" stealing their jobs, IT coolies.
Astro
Jan 31, 2013 09:18am
...and now you've got me longing to see the film!
Rafi
Jan 31, 2013 02:35pm
It had to be Arabic so that the " intelligent" American audience could relate it to Muslims . They are programmed to that. If it was Urdu people would think OBL was killed in China. Remember half of America thinks Obama and Osama are distant cousins.
Uroos khan
Jan 31, 2013 03:03pm
Well these kind of movies r made to shape the thoughts of the people ,,how many of us have seen osama in real , hadnt cnn n bbc have told you that he exixsted would you know of his ezistance , ?? Ppl believe on the news channels as if they r reporting the truth ,plz wake up ,bbc ,CNN ,they all follow the agendas of their owners ,,my heart cries that no Pakistani asked for the evidence that Osama was in Pakistan ,,bcoz he was not ,,now watch the movie idiots n believe blindly ,,this is wat they want ,,just watch with a mind of a kindergartner who believes on whatever is shown to him ..
Trent
Jan 31, 2013 07:23pm
I am an American, born and raised here, everyone here knows that the Native American people were the first inhabitants here, and Europeans started coming here in the 15th century in droves. Armed with better weapons and diseases that the Native American's didn't have, it was pretty easy to take the land from them. Sad part of our history. I disagree that the US has no culture, we have many different cultures, we have Hispanic culture, European culture, Arabic culture, Native American culture and Asian culture here. The US is a melting pot of all kinds of religions, societies and history. You should probably seek to learn more about a place before you make blind comments on it. That is the problem with the world today, nobody wants to seek the truth on their own and they just believe whoever has the loudest mouth.
FizX Entertainment (@fizx)
Jan 31, 2013 07:20pm
Hahahaha this is the best depiction of the movie ! loved it .... and the pictures are AL- Crazy !
Moiz
Jan 31, 2013 07:16pm
Humorous..! Depicts the world view of the masses in this country.
Trent
Jan 31, 2013 07:16pm
I am a white American living in Oklahoma. One of my Pakistani friends (I have over 100 awesome Pakistani friends) send me this link. I find these images extremely funny, and somewhat spot on! Great job to the writer. American's and Pakistani people need to seek to find out more about each other without the influence of media. I have a company that works hand in hand with a company based in Islamabad. We do software development for US based companies, and the relationships we have built between normal hard working Pakistani's and normal hard-working American's are amazingly strong and mutually beneficial. You don't truly get to know someone unless you work with them on a daily basis, and our clients and our employees, are getting to know the true side of each culture. Armed with that knowledge and the strong friendships we now have, we can ignore 99% of false media lies. Get to know an American, find out about his/her life on your own. Don't trust what media tells you about each other. I tell my fellow American's the same thing.
rehan
Jan 31, 2013 05:02pm
bro, i hope this is sarcasm.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 07:29pm
Check ur books, read up first.
Ahmad
Jan 31, 2013 09:14am
top quality stuff NFP. kudos.
Peace lover
Jan 31, 2013 06:48pm
And the other half thinks Obama is a muslim - ignorant masses!
Trent
Jan 31, 2013 07:37pm
Parts of what you say are true. People in the USA have short attention spans and the producers of a movie need to maximize the two hours they have to keep our attention, because we are bombarded everyday with advertisements, music, movies, television. We live in a land of instant gratification, if someone can't produce something quickly, then the average American has lost interest. So Hollywood producers must quickly hit on the most stereotypical pieces they can about other cultures, so American's don't have to think too deeply on it. Again, they don't want to lose our interest. Your comment about how American's don't want to learn many cultures except our own, probably has a lot of truth to it. Like I posted earlier, American is a melting pot of all kinds of different religions, societies and races. You can take any city in America and easily draw the lines of where different people live. Mexicans tend to all stay together in a certain part of a city. Black people tend to stay together. Everyone wants to associate with their own kind so they feel accepted. Most people in America live in areas of like minded people. So when we see so many different people in our own country, we tend to get enough education on other parts of the world right here at home. This makes people less likely to branch out and learn about another country. I strongly believe that American's should study the world more than they do, but with all the entertainment and distractions we have here, it's tough to find time in the day to do so. This is a problem with my society.
Olivia Mukhopadhyay
Jan 31, 2013 09:13am
ha ha ha ROFL okay NFP you have atleast turned one english movie fan away from seeing this movie.Really can mediocrity never be beaten?HOLLYWOD has constantly disappointing since 2010.
Zain
Jan 31, 2013 08:57am
Top Quality Satire and pretty much paints the real picture!!!!!
Gautam
Jan 31, 2013 09:09am
Welcome to the US, Agressive Brown Man, Your Place or Mine....bhahahahahahAHA. When Katy Perry said, 'Baby, You're a firework', she probably meant a Suicide bomber. I almost chucked-up my dinner from laughing. Freaking awesome NFP.
saud
Jan 31, 2013 09:12am
"Even a squirrel these days has to run around for a permit to enter and climb trees in that particular area". Lol well said!
athar
Jan 31, 2013 08:06am
Brilliant!!
mahesh
Jan 31, 2013 08:07am
they always show India and pakistan as poor, overcrowded, malnourished and irrational people. NFP as always right on the money.
Fahad
Jan 31, 2013 03:10pm
i think you are missing the point bro...
AHA
Jan 31, 2013 12:55pm
Beliefs like your have put Pakistan in the sorry state that it is today. Optimism without any closeness to realism is a sure recipe for disaster.
Tariq
Jan 31, 2013 04:52pm
@Indiausa. U2 have been exposed to uncle Sam's culture for too long, it's about time you were acclimatised, pay a visit to your homeland!
Zain
Jan 31, 2013 05:01pm
Amazing work Nadeem! It was truly hilarious.
NASAH (USA)
Jan 31, 2013 05:01pm
Zero Dark Thirty is a torturous trash. I am glad it did not receive more than 5 nominations -- not worth even one.
Rabia
Jan 31, 2013 08:48am
Agreed. I think Shuaib only went through the first part of the piece.
yo yo yohoney singh
Jan 31, 2013 01:31pm
tharki
Dr Khan
Jan 31, 2013 08:40am
what do you mean by transformed? NFP is a critic, he will criticize everything against the norm.
Jaffer Janjua
Jan 31, 2013 02:30pm
I'll have whatever he is drinking, I too will be a Golden Sparrow.
Rahilla Imtiaz Paracha
Jan 31, 2013 02:31pm
hilarious!
Akhlaq ahmed
Jan 31, 2013 06:46pm
irrespective of what hav they presented as Pakistan....they still got advantage that people around the world believe in sensation of terrorism, arabic language, turbans, long beards, rocket launchers in children's hands and they associate it with muslim countries, especially with Pakistan. they in fact believe in amazing power of media which, very unfortunately, we need to work on in order to spread the truth....alas our media should have a mission but they are busy in making themselves more secular to become friends of india....but believe me this is not the way to progress...we can only have a 'say' when we will progress in media and other fields...not only in the field of changing ideologies every next day...
Kamran Niazi
Jan 31, 2013 08:14pm
Groovy !
Assad
Jan 31, 2013 02:22pm
There is no such a thing as "Red" Indian. This is a term that desis coined for the native Americans to distinguish them from the sub continental Indians. In the US, nobody understands what a "Red Indian" is.
Alan
Feb 01, 2013 12:12am
can you really blame them? No one ever gave a satisfactory answer to why Bin Laden was resting a mile away from Pak military.
Alan
Feb 01, 2013 12:14am
What are Americans to think of Pakistan when no one is willing to talk about what Bin Laden was doing resting a mile away from Pakistani military institute? Has the government or the media in Pakistan tried to give any explanations to the Americans - what are they to think?
abbastoronto
Jan 31, 2013 11:51pm
manomoni: Greetings from Dearborn MI Oh even nostalgia is not what it used to be, let alone Capitalism. In fact for the last 20 years I have pitched tent mostly in North Africa, Middle East, Malaysia/Singapore, and American West coast. And in the meantime sometimes making 6 trips to Pakistan in a year. My generation weaned on Iqbal (sara jahan hamara) never felt that we were "leaving" Pakistan when we went abroad. I would have thought that now with 10,000,000 of us outside Pakistan, Iqbal's universality among them would have sprouted like wild oats, but from your comment it seems otherwise, unless, or course, if you are from India, then I understand you fully. You see, India belongs to Indians, but the whole universe belongs to us Muslims. Inshallah one day we shall obliterate borders made by men. Best wishes
abbastoronto
Jan 31, 2013 10:51pm
G.A. Orientalism was patent European, and largely Anglo-French, never Russian or German who went the other way in adopting Hindu swastika as their own. NFP satire aside, American opinion about Pakistan (and Pak opinion about America) is pretty sanguine. Whereas Euro-Asian relationship was master-slave, to be fair Americans have been pretty collegial (although few Pakistanis would agree with me). And for us here in America, "Orient" is the Exotic Far East - China, Japan, Korea et al, never the Levant. Best wishes
Dr Khan
Jan 31, 2013 10:48pm
Pakistani media promoting secularism, you must be joking.
sk
Feb 01, 2013 06:59pm
Your name tells how hung-up you are with "USA". Working with many H1B, and how they live in this country I know where you are coming from !!
abbastoronto
Jan 31, 2013 02:19pm
Zero Dark Thirty is America’s last hurrah. In 1904 Asian Japan beat European Russia. In 1905 did an encore. That was the beginning of India's freedom. It dawned on the other Asians that Europe could be beaten. Soon after in 1914-45 Europe committed suicide. General Western debacle followed. Korean stalemate, Dien-Bien Phu, the Viet-Nam rout. Looking back no more East Asia will be safe from the Colonialist West for the next 500 years. Now it is West Asia’s turn. Just as 1904-1905 led to European suicide, the 9/11 led to Western suicide. Stalemate in Israel. Quagmire in Iraq. Rout in Af-Pak. Debt, depression, financial meltdown, bankruptcy, civil strife, despair, lose of hope. Europe has given up on adventurism. America already plans leaving the field in 2014, and despite its stated promises to stay on, it will not. Pockets are empty. Now West Asia will be safe from the Capitalist West for the next 500 years. With rearguard safe, time to move forward.
Haris Chaudhry
Jan 31, 2013 07:54am
Looks like you put this all in a hurry NFP ... I have seen better work from you..
Shameema
Jan 31, 2013 02:12pm
There are no Discos and Nightclubs in Kuwait either.Period!
pathanoo
Jan 31, 2013 04:44pm
Dear NFP, The article while true does not represent your IQ. You are a lot better than this. This is too light weight for you. This is from an admirer.
jay
Jan 31, 2013 02:11pm
no offences . Its my office in DLF cybercity Gudgaon :-D , lot of nice infra around that place and rapid metro is coming up. Please dont kill me ,pleaseeeee. :-P
Rafi
Jan 31, 2013 06:23pm
And the funny headgears... Well Alladin wears one, so do all Pakistanis. That's the American point of view.
suleman
Jan 31, 2013 07:51am
Hahaha, hilarious..
kgaipal
Jan 31, 2013 04:56pm
bwahha... realy spot on ... and seriously we need satirical writers like you in India newspapers .. :|
Tahir
Jan 31, 2013 09:20am
Yes but both India and Pakistan are poor, overcrowded, malnourished, irrational people living in squalor. Do you need more to prove it!
Vigilant
Jan 31, 2013 08:00am
:D
Shameema
Jan 31, 2013 02:09pm
Thanks NFP, for pointing out the errors. It was bothering me so much, I wanted to scream!
Faraz
Jan 31, 2013 01:59pm
Not too mention the hindi written road signs they forgot to conceal during shoots in India
hasan
Jan 31, 2013 02:00pm
Fun read, I would be pleased if you had added the depiction of Peshawar in the movie, as it was shot in india, none of them looked like Pakistanis or to be precise, people of Peshawar, it was an epic fail for me there
tanveer
Feb 01, 2013 02:32pm
come and see the Pakistan ,, i promise you will never ever saw such a beautiful country, though some bad people are spoiling the name of Pakistan but don't look at the dark side of the pictures,
Fahad Mirza
Jan 31, 2013 08:25am
LMAO, great job!
Imran
Jan 31, 2013 03:00pm
We Pakistanis dont need any further insight into our own mindsets. This is a Pakistani writer writing in a Pakistani paper for Pakistanis. Thats why Maha is amused over American mindsets.
shuaib
Jan 31, 2013 08:17am
A big thanks to the producer of "ZERO....", which has transformed NFP
Syed
Jan 31, 2013 08:15am
Hilarious., especially 'Pakistan accordin to Hollywood'
Ahmed
Jan 31, 2013 01:51pm
Very entertaining and thought provoking critical analysis ! Just wondering how can we expose Western World to these conspicuous facts in a polite manner. The point is to make them realise of their inconceivable and ridiculous ideologies about us and our religion. Not abuse them and kill the conversation before it starts !
HNY2013
Feb 01, 2013 02:20pm
Abbas Sir, only 'one' thank you will do. Lol just kidding!
a
Jan 31, 2013 01:39pm
i live in us for past 2 decades and what you have above is pretty close to what many Americans think of Pakistan.
abbastoronto
Jan 31, 2013 01:35pm
NFP graduates to bi-cultural wit. Bravo. Bollywood succeeds admirably at providing superb entertainment making no qualms about fantasy - “ .. star-crossed lovers and angry parents, love triangles, family ties, sacrifice, corrupt politicians, kidnappers, conniving villains, courtesans with hearts of gold, long-lost relatives and siblings separated by fate, dramatic reversals of fortune, and convenient coincidences ..” Hollywood goes the extra mile at pretending to be realistic, and fails miserably. What strikes a non-American coming to live in America is how seriously they take Hollywood. On my first assignment in America 8 years ago in an aerospace company in San Diego the first act of business in the morning was exchanging notes on the movie seen the night before. I am talking of Engineers making in 6 figures per annum (US$, not PKR). In Pakistan, 5 prayers a day hopefully keep the devil away, in America a movie a night keeps, they hope, ignorance at bay (or at least the alienation of a godless life). Silver screen is reality in America, the street is simply a dull copy. Many if not most people here think 9/11 was staged. Bollywood feeds Western invincibility, but that can be deadly. The 007, Superman, Batman, Spiderman, all were caught napping on 9/11 when a kidney-sick madman sitting in remote mountains with a $200,000 budget (of which $60,000 actually spent – talk about Islam’s frugality) made a monkey of CIA, FBI, NSA, MI5, CSIS, Mossad, all put together, busting the 1826 Monroe Doctrine, and for the first time in last 500 years replacing the principal emotion in Corporate Capitalist West from hope to fear. Department of Homeland Security is now the largest Department in every Western country, and growing. At the height of the Soviet Union, half of the population worked for its “DHS” watching the other half. The stated goal of Al-Quaeda is to reduce the Capitalist West to a carbon copy of the Soviet Union, and then beat them with their experience. What I have heard of Dark Hour Thirty looks like a proof how much Al-Quaeda has succeeded so far. Lament for a civilization. Says so factually the West’s Prophet of Doom Samuel Huntington: " .. The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion, but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact, non-Westerners never do ..” —— The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order, p. 51. .. Someone ought to tell these Capitalists led by America that the Civilized do not clash, but cooperate (as lobbied Khatami of Iran). When asked about the Western Civilization venerable Mao deadpanned – “it will be a good idea”. After the WWII it was said in Capitals of Europe, in London, Paris, Berlin, that Europe could survive on the refuse of America, and Asia could live on what Europe throws out. North America had 90% of world production, and monopoly on capital and technology. 70 years later Asia sits on a pile of cash, geriatric Europe buys an extension on its existence by not having children, and we in North America are mired in debt to our necks. 100 years ago not a square inch of globe breathed without the permission of the West. Today, the world is saying to the West – whatever you have been doing, stop it now to stop further hemorrhage. Do not commit suicide. The old-timers like us who have seen its gradual decline over the last 50 years from “Arsh to Farsh” and the rise of Asia are seriously planning to come back to war-torn Pakistan. Pak will solve its problems sooner or later, but with Hollywood feeding these 330 millions Zero Dark Thirty, will America ever rise again? It is a land with immense potential. We wish our closest friends well indeed.
HNY2013
Feb 01, 2013 02:16pm
Stereotyping is required for characterization in a drama, serial or a movie. Have you ever watched how Hindus are shown in Pakistani movies/serials/drama? or how Bollywood shows Pakistani's. Well, as already said this movie was made for US public and is a top grosser now. The producers or directors had no obligations to stick to authenticity. I am sure if the showed authentically the American public can NOT make out the difference between a pakistani/hindustani/afganistani. And ask any South East Asian in US or Canada, and they will tell you they are most commonly mistaken for being Mexicans!
M.Kamran
Feb 01, 2013 07:51pm
Does this get into these American Heads that their media is destroying their culture and psyche?Thumbs Down to such a freedom of expression.Auteurs like Bigelow,Boal and Annpurna Films should be made illegal and must be banned.They are a cult who want fame and recognition.I think they have reached their Point Break!.
Zahid
Jan 31, 2013 05:20pm
IQ is a 'meyyar' of parathas one eats daily - Rehman Malik PhD
JR
Jan 31, 2013 05:36pm
Nadeem randomly talks sense.
Pramod
Jan 31, 2013 05:50pm
A mistake is a mistake. Director should had taken some guidance from Pakistan or at least some Indian guy.
manomoni
Jan 31, 2013 06:03pm
Dont know why Mr.abbas is still sitting in capitalistic Canada? He can come to west asia or pakisthan to enjoy the bounty and peace and away from capitalism!
Karachi Wala
Jan 31, 2013 06:05pm
"Though sharp in its production and direction and largely accurate in depicting the events that led to the death of Osama Bin Laden" I have not watched the movie but have watched few older movies where they show Arab muslims, dumb, rigid and stupid. unfortunately the Arabs and now most of the Muslim world has not done much to prove otherwise. Could this be an attempt from the producer and director to show todays muslim masses in Pakistan and their mindset that blindly follows Osama, Mullah Umar and ect.....?
Abhs
Feb 01, 2013 01:43am
I do agree that some parts of the movie could have been less sloppy e.g the use of Arabic but otherwise the movie was fine. They couldnt depict Islamabad as it is because the movie wasn't shot here and the bazaars shown were those in Rawalpindi and Peshawer which are kinda like that. Apart from that how life in Pakistan was showed well I imagine any CIA agent working in Pakistan would feel like he is in hell heck we Pakistanis feel scared all the time and let's face it Pakistan is rampant with terrorism and there is no sugarcoating it!
Haroon
Feb 01, 2013 01:36am
I suggest you read the article at least before commenting. The writer's focus is on the lack of basic knowledge of Pakistani life. Not the politics behind OBL. By the way, what exactly are Pakistanis to make of the nation that blew up over 90 children through drone attacks without a blink of an eye, yet (rightly) mourned the deaths of 22 of their own. All life is equal... yeah right, BS.
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 09:17pm
Well Uroos please dont cry ....there are two aspects to this. Are there not videos circulating around inciting people for jihad with footage of OBL touting a gun and giving sermons/lectures. So you think "those" clips did not influence people in to believing his existence or people just went crazy and believed that, all those fighter did not follow CNN or BBC. Now you will counter me by saying "So who made this OBL so famous" Well I would say a person is made famous by his followers and not his enemies. And please refrain from calling others idiots and kindergarteners, even if you are the only genius person roaming the earth: People watch movies for entertainment, to get away from the mundane problems of their lives.
Nasir
Feb 01, 2013 01:50am
Really!!! a little criticism with a hint of sarcasm can't be that bad.
Umar Ali
Feb 01, 2013 01:59am
This is Hilarious :D
Zaka
Jan 31, 2013 11:57pm
LOL!!!! Yes this is quite funny, Havent watched this movie, but can imagine that the stereotypes cast in the movie. The director actually came up with an excellent first movie before this. When shooting a "real-life" situation they should ve been more authentic in their depiction of the content. It was actually shot in India for starters. i guess thats the problem when it comes to stereotype but an oscar nominated movie should be better. But then ask Marlon Brando about how good and true the oscar awards are!!!!
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 09:05pm
Yeah Fahad I am missing the point. At one instance they say that the movie is not good for public viewing as it may lead to violence (me missing the point here too) then we discuss the movie and its fallacies. Well to me it seems a good way to entice people in to thinking ....hey lets watch this movie after all. Just for the laughs. And there you go. The best way to popularize anything is to BAN it. Curiosity got the cat!
Joe
Feb 01, 2013 02:09am
Another sparkling, refreshing tonic from NFP. We laugh while having to take it seriously. There's irony though, when finally sitting back and thinking about it. Write a funny spoof about America, and most Americans (not everyone, but most) will laugh along with you. Write the same kind of spoof about Taliban, and you'll get death threats: not just to you, but to others also in your profession. .
AJ Kabul
Feb 01, 2013 02:16am
Dude, you ain't an American from Oklahoma! No one in Oklahma says 'spot on'. You're a 'chor'!!
lubna khan
Feb 01, 2013 02:41am
hahahahah, the best article ever! and perfect description of pak/us stereotypical misconcepts about each other in the minds of some. loved it!
cinemapakistan
Feb 01, 2013 02:47am
LOL, always a riot Mr. Paracha. Here's a more serious, more comprehensive breakdown of the poor depiction, with movie stills and everything. It adds to your post nicely. http://cinemapakistan.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/zero-dark-dirty/
HNY2013
Jan 31, 2013 08:58pm
Bollywood feeds Western invincibility, but that can be deadly. Did you mean Hollywood sir?
abbastoronto
Jan 31, 2013 11:57pm
Hollywood is 10 times "paisa wasool" than Bollywood. Taking advice from Pakistanis would have hurt the bottom line. Remember "Charlie Wilson's War" was even further from reality. But hey, did you not know that our god is the almighty Dollar.
Rao
Feb 01, 2013 02:54am
NFP has written about ignorance in both the countries....what Americans have depicted in the movie and what Pakistanis think about america
Alan
Feb 01, 2013 12:10am
Last cartoon is a masterpiece for ages to come.
Ramesh
Feb 01, 2013 03:05am
LOL!!! Sir, wish we had such journalists in India!! Great wit and satire.
rajiv
Jan 31, 2013 09:39pm
America my dear do have a culture, 90% of the world listens to their songs and copies their music, tries to wear cloths that they wear... buy same gadgets they use... culture does not have to be some poor people singing and dancing in a language that 90% of the world does not understand... anyways my point was simple... They make movies only for american people... they know if americans like it.. whole world would watch.. that should tell you something... and if the movie is so bad like you guys think... it will fail in rest of the world... have you checked how much money its making..
Wasif
Jan 31, 2013 08:30pm
Awesome article. But what our media shows about us to the world, the world will have only that much understanding of Pakistan.
Abida
Feb 01, 2013 05:28am
Hahahahahah! I love your depiction!. Well said - The movie didn't not even hint at the impact of terrorism in Pakistan - besides the 2008 marriot bombing, the movie didn't highlight any other death or bombing!
Rafi
Feb 01, 2013 01:16pm
@ Abbastoronto : agree with most of what u wrote BUT as a general rule a comment can't be longer than the article itself.
Chaman
Feb 01, 2013 01:25pm
No words could have illustrated the misgivings about each other better. Hilarious and brilliant. Need more of this stuff.
Chaman
Feb 01, 2013 01:28pm
Where is your sense of humor bro. Laugh it off and stop balancing the books all the time. It only shows a possible complex. Get over it and you will be salvaged out of shallow thinking.
Hasan
Feb 01, 2013 08:40pm
I ran away from Pakistan and never want to come back..but thanks for trying.
meow
Feb 01, 2013 08:55pm
what is Pakistan then?
Akram
Feb 01, 2013 09:01pm
When journalists in India give up their jehadi mentality, they will be able to write like NFP.
Akram
Feb 01, 2013 09:08pm
Thats nothing. A million Iraqis are dead and the world was told that US is going in to find weapons of mass destruction. Found any yet?
Raj
Feb 01, 2013 09:18pm
Too Funny, yet ironically true
Hyderabadi
Feb 01, 2013 09:43pm
Exactly like how muslims think their deen is superior to everything else. While they keep saying "there's no compulsion in religion", they actually mean "islam is the best, rest are man made flawed paths". Isn't that arrogance ?
Hyderabadi
Feb 01, 2013 09:45pm
You are right...the more one gets deeper into islam, the more one feels and believes that arabs are the chosen people and others are inferior. That kinda sets the "i wish i were an arab" psyche for them.
John
Feb 01, 2013 10:06pm
When you act as Arabian barbarians, the world will mistake you as Arabs.
Dark Cloud
Feb 01, 2013 10:55pm
Al Quada around bin Laden was composed mostly of Arabs, and speaking Arabic might have been handy. Eh? Ergo, the headgear. Maybe? Suspicious people with guns, headphones, and cameras waiting all day on the street across from criminals talking and gesturing loudly outside their safe house with open windows with other people and naked women speaking loudly is an idiocy of all American TV cop shows and movies, because the Mob would never find that suspicious nor drug cartels nor anyone. Get with it, Pakistan. Get hip.
sk
Feb 01, 2013 11:01pm
Alan, because small group of primitive thinking people called" al-keda" made your CIA spent $500M to locate OBL.This was "sheer American stupidity" on a colossal scale.The problem is that America tries to wash off every unprovoked aggressions with money and propaganda and as may know by now it has never worked and it never will. Hollywood (war) movies of the fifties and sixties made German army and its people look stupid. So nobody can blame why American are so ignorant, arrogant and plain stupid when it comes to other cultures and people. It is your Hollywood that teaches you all this. So garbage in, garbage out my friend.
abbastoronto
Feb 01, 2013 11:10pm
curiousforeverr: Greetings from Dearborn MI LOL. Pakistan, a half way around the globe? Most Americans know diddly squat about Canada, their erstwhile neighbour. The fundamental question of Existence is Survival, Growth, and Evolution. Necessity is the mother of invention. People will seek knowledge only if it aids in their SGE. Have you ever seen a truly beautiful girl or a truly handsome man at any university anywhere in the world? Such do not need to go to school, as they can do god’s work with their natural endowments alone. America is a blessed land, can feed 10 times its population with current technology with borders shut (the only Western country to be able to do so). Therefore, Americans do not need to know about others. This is the way it is, and we should not take it as their failing, but a sign of the gift from Allah to their land.
omarr
Feb 01, 2013 11:17pm
I haven't seen it but my dad has..he told me that the number plate of terrorists car was 0786...
Jahanzeb Punjwani
Feb 01, 2013 11:20pm
NFP its time you make a film, a hilarious film full of sarcasm blowing all the myths abt Pakistan!!!
Akhlaq ahmed
Feb 01, 2013 11:20pm
No no i didn't mean that....to become India's friend does not mean to lose our own identity....we can be good friends without adapting each others' ideologies.....i believe in good neighborhood
ghjg
Feb 01, 2013 11:21pm
You are missing the point. The movie is thoroughly unwatchable for multiple reasons. Yet, it shows the liberties that people will take with societies that they do not know or do not care enough to know. The film-makers did not need in depth research on the ground to know that Arabic is not the language of everyday chit-chat in Pakistan or Abbottabad is not exactly a 45-minute drive from Islamabad. Basic Google search would have unravelled the mystery. It is patronising and insulting when people make grossly inaccurate, generalised observations about a group and perpetuate those myths arrogantly.
Ahmed
Feb 01, 2013 11:24pm
i didn't mean that at all....we can be good friends without leaving our ideology based identities....and yes media is playing part into efforts of converting the country into secular state
omarr
Feb 01, 2013 11:27pm
This was made by hollywood so such misinformation was expected. But has anyone ever seen Agent Vinod.. I mean seriously, there is a totally waxed lady in shortest clothes possible trapped inside a sack just waiting to be discovered by the hero. Talibans hate such women, right? Why didn't they execute her? ha ha ha! then secondly everybody in Karachi was greeting Adaab Adaab to each other? When was the last time did you hear anyone greeting in such a way in Pakistan?
abbastoronto
Feb 01, 2013 11:37pm
Shubs: Glad you had a laugh. Best wishes
Suleyman
Feb 01, 2013 11:53pm
This piece reminds me of Edward Said's Orientalism. Its all about how the other is percieved and I think this article does a good job in showing that.
chumpie
Feb 02, 2013 12:29am
Trent,we have 'rednecks' in Pakistan as well..Bare with it.
chumpie
Feb 02, 2013 12:44am
I didn't believe it untill Taliban confirmed it. And I'm a conspiracy theorist.
Sandra Necchi
Feb 02, 2013 12:48am
nice article except that you're WRONG about Zero Dark Thirty providing an "accurate" depiction of the hunt for bin Laden. Very far from it. You should read the many critical articles written about just how wrong it is.
dumb_chump
Feb 02, 2013 01:00am
since we ain't got discos and bars and malls and cinemas, we read dawn.com all the time.
dumb_chump
Feb 02, 2013 01:07am
White ppl driving cabs... actually they steal our jobs too..
Joe
Feb 02, 2013 02:15am
You don't get it. You don't "ban" them, for the fundamentally democratic reason: the person who bans those whom you don't like, can grow higher and supreme in Ayatollah-like authority to ban other expression (including yours) someday. Rather than governmental "banning", a more effective force is public ridicule. Poor work like "zero dark 30" may titillate for its moment, then go down as a stupid failure in history. The judgement of history, through the experience of democracy, is what humanity grows on. NFP got it hilariously right. Read it again and laugh. .
imran khalid
Feb 02, 2013 03:19am
NFP is finding his true value of his country in the world. My friend does'nt matter how ultra modern you try to portray yourself, the truth remains how the majority of ppl in Pakistan behave and what their thinking is. Just try walking the streets and ask a shia or a hindu ( if you find one) what he thinks about his security in the land of pure.
Balachandran Nair V
Feb 02, 2013 04:29am
Though satire many of those said above are having some realities too
farid
Feb 02, 2013 05:00am
Yes Pakistan and India are one and the same place and they have the same culture. . people of these countries have lived together for thousands of years. The hatred between muslims and hindus was the invention of devious British mind and the sorrow fact that two egocentric leaders had dislike for each other. Also go and check the meaning of word Aboriginal in dictionary. Also read a little about social psychology and understand the meaning of word"Culture" and you will realize that the "American Idol" based society is far away from culture. American culture can be easily defined with wild west mentality,gun and violence.
farid
Feb 02, 2013 05:13am
You are hundred percent right, American businesses will do any thing for money. Also remember it is a country where slavery was practised until 200 years ago. The word Negro is the invention of American culture.
farid
Feb 02, 2013 07:35am
It seems Quaid e Azam was a surgeon.
uh547242242
Feb 02, 2013 08:08am
We see the world the way we like to .. and this film is no different. I was some times amazed to learn that some of the free world people never believed that ppl in Pak could converse in their language. Biased, prejudiced.
Talat Ali Hamdany
Feb 02, 2013 08:56am
It's typical of Americans not to do research on a topic but to go in straight with stereo types on a subject or as for that matter on foreign policy too. Iraq and Afghanistan come to mind as does Viet Nam. Blunders if you want to call a ten year war a blunder which would be a misnomer in all the cases. Killing innocent people in American language is just collateral damage. Killing people thousand miles away from the secure homeland is 'suspected' taliban when you blow up a wedding party. Nice.
Brijesh
Feb 02, 2013 09:48am
Another American propaganda about how wrong the world is and how right the Americans are... In the final analysis - the propaganda wins simply because Osama was found on Pakistani soil, a few kilometers away from a Military base
Rafia
Feb 02, 2013 10:50am
love it!