Come rain, shine, inflation or seasonal sale, you are ready to be carried on a million-customer wave in the quest for kurtas, footwear, bath and kitchen taps and laptops.

During the past sale seasons, we saw determined women willing to be crushed in swarms by stampeding shopaholics as they broke down the door at Agha Noor and tumbled around shop floors engaged in cat fights over Sapphire kurtas.

Why point fingers though? We have all been in that bad space where the words ‘Sale’ followed by ‘Up to 70 off’ appeared without warning and sucked us in. The grand seduction begins with coy inner resistance. Your bank account cannot take too much activity and your credit history is dicey on a good day, and with your mother-in-law’s birthday coming up next week, you really can’t afford to part with your hard-earned cash. Not on spanking new sportswear, just because Nike has a ‘40 percent off’ sale. Also the last time you exercised was in Kindergarten.

The wallet might not agree but the heart wants what it wants and when it wants it

Of course the only rational course of action, especially when your children’s school fee is also due in the next two days, is to forget Nike and instead dart into the new kid on the kurta block. They’ve also got a sale and you know that you will only browse, not buy. In that meditative state of mind, you breathe deeply, readjust your course and enter prêt heaven.

Twenty minutes in and you have managed to stick to your resolution. You pat yourself because you’re doing pretty good. Nothing looks right. Nothing is in your size. The sale is on all the rubbish which no one will touch. Just as you are heading out of the shop wondering whether all the cool looking kurtas have died and gone to rot in a mass grave somewhere in Central Asia, The Kurta winks at you. You would have missed it if you had blinked, only you didn’t. And you find yourself drawn inexplicably towards it.

Okay so one kurta won’t hurt.

Yes it will! You promised you wouldn’t.

But it’s only for 2,800 rupees!

You spot an ambitious hottie headed straight for your kurta and that puts an end to your dilemma. You now have to rush and grab it, before she can sink her painted claws into it. Kurta in hand and done for the day, you head to the counter to pay. Next you head for the parking lot, determined not to be sidetracked. But just as you get on to the escalator to go down, you spot a 30 percent off on your favourite cosmetics. You’ve been waiting for months to buy Colour Crush in Red Hot Raspberry at Body Shop. Is this a sign from God?

You find yourself getting back on the escalator, this time to go up and make straight for your favourite lip colour in your favourite shade and stand in line to pay, only to find that your favourite pales in comparison to the one the woman in front of you is holding.

You lean in to take a closer look — it’s called Berry in Love. Not only are you now in love with Berry in Love, you also know that BIL is worthy of a black eye and a public brawl on the shop floor, and at 2,000 rupees apiece it is also well under 2,500 rupees. You buy both, because these sales don’t happen every day, you know.

Going past Gul Ahmed, you happen to spot a sign announcing 50 percent off on bed sheets. You bought a couple last month, but surely it won’t kill you to check out what else is on offer. And then you see it: the king-size displayed on the bed, which is exactly the same shade as your curtains. In that moment you realise that bed sheet and your curtains are a match made in heaven.

You look closer and realise that your bed sheet is not on sale. You ask the shop attendant to locate it for you on the shelf and while you wait, you see a set of blingy cushions, table runner and table cloth which would make the perfect present for the mother-in-law. Remember her birthday is coming up?

On second thought, why get it for her, when you can get it for yourself? Just as you ask another shop attendant to help you make a set of blingy goodies for your living room, the hunger pangs set in. You remember the Burger King deal for Standard Chartered customers. Or should you avail the 20 percent off at Gloria Jean’s on your HBL card?

En route to the food court, you spot another sale. This time at Sapphire. That’s already cheap. Imagine what the sale prices will be like! Sapphire doesn’t disappoint as you find a pair of must-have white pants right away and then head deep into kurta forest trying to find an off-white shirt to go with it. You try to recall where it was that you read about clothing in neutral colours being an investment.

It’s not all easy. You do wince a bit when you picture your cupboard at home overflowing with stuff you never wore. Stuff that makes you cringe and say ‘What was I thinking?’ And there is that credit card bill that you have been avoiding looking at since your last binge. But you comfort yourself with the thought that you will sell your (many) mistakes online as soon as you get home.

It occurs to you that you could raise substantial cash that way. You’ll upload the pictures on to all the online shopping groups that you belong to. Yes you will. You have surprised yourself with your inherent entrepreneurial spirit. Of course everyone will love your discards. You love yourself for having that thought … and the right thought deserves the right reward, right?

That shirt with the Chinese men on it? You saw something similar at Ethnic for 3,500 rupees. And these guys are selling it for 2,800 rupees. Now that’s a bargain!

Published in Dawn, Sunday Magazine, December 4th, 2016