SHILLONG (India): It’s not that Rosanna Lyngdoh Mawphlang isn’t grateful that under her Khasi tribe’s matrilineal system she, rather than her brothers, will inherit the family’s sprawling 21-roomed home.
It’s just that she’s not sure she wants all the responsibility that goes with it.
“I know this is a privilege that the youngest daughter enjoys but I have my own life to lead,” said Mawphlang, at 34 already carving a name for herself as a rights activist in India’s remote northeastern state of Meghalaya.
“I can’t be responsible for everything. The system should change,” she told AFP in the cosy sitting room of the family home in a quiet suburb of the state capital Shillong — known as the Scotland of the East for its cool, drizzly climate and hilly terrain.
Under Khasi customs dating back more than 1,000 years, children carry their mother’s family name and women have the main say in the running of the household — subject however in cases of dispute to an uncontestable veto by their maternal uncles.
Aside from worship of the sun and moon, the sacrifice of roosters, the strong tradition of nurturing girl children and the liberal consumption of rice wine, the more than a million-strong tribe is known especially for its customs that the youngest daughter inherits the ancestral home.
The catch, however, is that while the property comes to her, so do all the responsibilities attached to running a large household.
“Under our system the youngest daughter is obliged to look after her parents and any other family members who may fall on hard times,” says Mawphlang’s father, 76-year-old Tarun Kumar Bhattacharjee, a retired magistrate.
He and his wife Phisimai Lyngdoh Mawphlang, 68, who was herself the youngest daughter of her family, share the home with 21 other family members, including three married daughters and their families, as well as the still-single Rosanna and an adopted daughter.
In all, nine grandchildren live in the warren-like household which over the years has been expanded by digging out new subterranean rooms.
“It’s not that I want to turn my back on tradition, but I’m not sure I want this way of life,” said Rosanna, who works for a non-governmental organisation mainly dealing with the scourge of trafficking of females in India’s northeast.
“Many of my friends who are the youngest daughters are moving out and living on their own,” said the widely-smiling activist. “Times have changed.”
Her father, the friendly ex-magistrate who says he is delighted to have all his family under one roof, agrees the matrilineal system of the Khasi, the largest tribe in Meghalaya, needs updating — especially as regards property rights.
“I support the idea that some share of the property should go to the sons,” he said, echoing a growing viewpoint among some Khasis that the matrilineal system needs to be re-examined.
Some, like Shillong businessman Keith Pariat, believe it needs a thorough overhaul.
“We feel that this system is not relevant anymore,” the 53-year-old father of two children said.
“There should be equal distribution among all the children. Why should the youngest daughter get everything?”
So strongly does he feel that he formed a lobby group in in 1990 — known as Syngkhong Rympei Thymmai (roughly meaning placing a wedge under a lopsided table so it is balanced).
The group has attracted only around 2,000 members, of them about 50 women — but not Pariat’s own wife who disagrees with his views.
“There is a tug-of-war between my wife and myself,” admits the quietly-spoken Pariat.
“I as a father have no say over my own children,” he complained. “I am not even allowed to go to my wife’s clan meetings. Her uncle has more say over my children than I do.
“I am out of place and lose that feeling of being a man. There is definitely disempowerment which leads to frustration,” he said.
As a result of the system which disempowers and absolves males of much responsibility, he said, many Khasi boys were turning to drink and to drugs. They were being viewed by Khasi girls as irresponsible and having “sunk too low to marry”.
The concern of his group, he added, was the “preservation of the Khasi tribe — we don’t want it to become extinct.”
Many men shared his view, he said, but were not strong enough to stand up to their wives and join his group.—AFP
