With Ramazan fast approaching, the country is again facing its usual challenge. Will we be able to spot the moon this year? This is not as straight forward a task as would at first appear. It involves at least three major questions.
First, what do we mean by 'spot'? You see it is not enough that the moon should be above the horizon according to astronomical calculations. That can be done by scientific (which is to say dastardly western), calculations, years in advance. These are obviously not to be relied upon, after all they could turn out to be a hoax, just like that alleged landing on the moon in 1969. Of course, not all western inventions are equally false or dastardly, loudspeakers, for example, are an important exception, but on really important questions, its best not to rely too much on them. We don't want to find out years later that the astrologers had borrowed their calculators from the ministry of finance and we have been fasting when we shouldn't have been.
This rings us to the second question, whom do we mean by 'we' in 'Will we be able to ...' Obviously, it can't be just anyone. Over the years, the consensus has been that the people best qualified to spot the moon are religious leaders. This is because the most essential quality required for moon spotting, is not excellent eyesight, but a pious character. Without piousness, it is very easy to mistake allow flying plane or a high jumping buffalo or the fast approaching WTO for the moon and conversely, not see the actual moon at all even if it pinches your cheeks. Since not everyone is equally pious, depending on their threshold, some people can see the moon before others can. In fact some people are so pious that they spot the moon up to a day before others, as our brothers to the north manage to do nearly every year.
All this is to come to an end in the new and efficient ISO 2001 certified Pakistan. There is to be a new committee for moon spotting. If the rest of the country is an indication, the new committee will be headed by retired army general who will be so pious that he will spot the moon years in advance and also very short tempered so that if any lazy civilian can't seen the moon when he is supposed to, he will deliver a sound thump on the head so that both stars and moon will become visible.
In yet another suspicious twist, the Frontier assembly has unanimously resolved that this new committee should be formed. This probably makes it certain that the PPPP (I hope I have the right number of Ps or this will come out wrong) will oppose the move, and request that Zardari be released before anything else. And it must be admitted that they have a case, why should Benazir be the only one who can't see her 'chanda.'In case some of you are keeping track, the third question is what is the 'moon' anyway? It has been years since I saw it through all the smoke and dust.
Speaking of the new Pakistan, one of its features is to be the rule of law. Some signs of this area already visible. After some laxity over the years, the dress code in the Punjab Club is now being very strictly enforced. At a recent function with much bright lights, police presence, and flag staff cars the place was awash with suits and sherwanis. The strict dress code is a hangover from Victorian times when laxity in dressing was meant to be a sign of a moral and ethical laxity. To their credit, the Victorians were actually genuinely concerned about the latter. Presumably, this is not on the Punjab Club's agenda. In any case, the old Pakistan continues to coexist with the new and a few feet from the bright lights were a row of Pakistanis wearing only half their national dress and relieving themselves against the wall of the same club. I am not sure but they might also have been expressing their opinion about dress codes in general.