It has to rank as the ultimate betrayal: urging soldiers to fight for their country, and then refusing to acknowledge the sacrifices they make. When the motive behind both is political, it becomes unforgivable.
Last week Americans, incredibly, saw the first ever pictures of their war dead coming home. Several papers featured a shot of the inside of a cargo plane with row upon row of coffins, all draped in the distinctive red and blue of the Stars and Stripes. Others showed soldiers unloading coffins from aeroplanes.
The soldiers who went, first to Afghanistan and then to Iraq, to fight America's wars went for many reasons. Some enlisted because - with little education and a poor working class background - they had few options.
For them, the army offered their one chance of job security and a career. Others joined because they always wanted to be a soldier. Still others joined in the patriotic fervour generated by the attacks of 9/11.
People like Pat Tillman, who turned down a multi-million dollar football deal with the Arizona Cardinals to fight alongside his brother in Afghanistan. Many reasons for going but all meeting the same fate: all returned in coffins to Dover Air Force base, Delaware.
If I was a soldier killed in action, or if my brother or husband was a soldier killed in action, I would want my brother's/my husband's sacrifice to be acknowledged by my country. I would want to be honoured. I would want a proper reception when I came home. I would want leaders to - if not attend my funeral - at least acknowledge my courage, my death.
For America's dead soldiers, however, there is no such reception, let alone honour. They arrive in purdah at Dover Air Force base. From there they are quietly passed onto their families for burial.
No trumpet, no fanfare (President George Bush has not attended a single soldier's funeral): just bury them and forget about them. Contrast their reception and treatment with that of the victims of 9/11.
Almost three years on, those victims are still fresh in the mind: honoured with memorials, tributes and endless media coverage. Why are America's war dead treated so differently?
The answer from the Pentagon is simple: "We have to remember the interests of the families and their privacy and their sensitivity during these tough times." In other words, photos of their dead sons, brothers and husbands coming home would be too distressing for the families.
Sounds logical, except when one tries to see what can be distressing in a picture of a coffin, draped in the American flag, being carried off a plane by American soldiers? Surely such photos commemorate the sacrifice they made; surely such photos give the families a sense of pride even as they grieve. And surely the pictures coming out of Iraq - of destroyed, burning American jeeps and trucks, vehicles in which American soldiers were killed - are infinitely more distressing?
One also has to question the logic of the Pentagon's argument when the families themselves are criticizing government policy and asking for the return of their dead to be acknowledged. Does Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld really know better than the families themselves what is and what is not good for them? For that is the implication in the Pentagon ruling.
Or is it that the Pentagon and the Bush administration have other reasons not to publicize the arrival of coffin after coffin at Dover Air Force base? Could it be that they want to hide the fact that dozens of America's soldiers are returning home dead? Could it be they do not want the American people to see graphic proof of the consequences of their Iraq policy - over 700 US soldiers killed - and more are facing death in Iraq.
In fact, the Pentagon's 'concern' for the families is just a cover for its actual concern about domestic public opinion and, in an election year, for President Bush's chances of winning a second term.
Images of war dead, images of soldiers' coffins, stoke patriotic fervour and resolve when the numbers involved are in dozens, double figures. When they run into hundreds, however, they stoke questions and criticism: What are so many young people dying for? Who is responsible for their deaths?
For the president and his team those are infinitely uncomfortable questions. For not one of the many justifications for war presented by Bush, Rumsfeld, Cheney, Wolfowitz or Powell has stood the test of time. Each one - fighting terrorism, Iraqi WMD, ending Saddam Hussein's cruelty (is the chaos that has succeeded it really any better?), promoting peace in the Middle East and democracy in the wider Arab world - has collapsed in bitter and bloody failure.
How does the president answer the families? More important, how does he answer the wider voting American public? He doesn't: he cannot. This is what explains the Pentagon's desperate attempt to suppress photos of the war dead coming home: it wants to avert the questions for which it has no answers.
The seven hundred-plus Americans killed in Iraq paid the ultimate price - not for the security or glory of their country - but to further the anti-Saddam agenda of George Bush, the neo-conservative agenda of Rumsfeld and his cabal, and the political ambitions of an administration that saw war (rather than the hard grind of generating socio-economic development at home) as the short-cut to a second presidential term.
This is the real tragedy and the real pain in seeing the pictures of coffin after coffin returning home: the fact that they died for a totally ignoble cause. America's war dead have passed the seven hundred mark.
A huge figure, no doubt, but a fraction of the Iraqi war dead. As the American people see the first pictures of their dead coming home and ponder over what so many died for, they should spare a thought for the thousands of Iraqi victims of Bush's war. Come November, those Iraqi statistics should figure alongside the number of Stars and Stripes-draped coffins in determining the choice they make.
Post-script: The manner in which the photos were eventually released speaks volumes for the docility and quiescence of the US media. Just one person - Russ Kick, running a website dedicated to promoting freedom of information - thought to ask for the pictures.
By some miracle (or some oversight for which someone in the US Air Force is now paying the price), the Air Force upheld his Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) request (albeit on appeal) and gave him a CD with 351 images of the dead. Many more people should have pushed for those pictures many months ago.