Significance of marriage
By Khwaja Sayeed Shahabuddin
LET us share with readers, some thoughts regarding the manner in which Aqd-e-nikah is performed by the Qazi in our country. There may be exceptions, but as we generally see, it is the practice of these gentlemen to merely recite certain verses from the Holy Quran and sayings of Prophet Muhammad, (peace on upon him) and then perform the Nikah.
Since it is most unfortunate that the vast majority of those present to witness the ceremony, do not understand Arabic, such recitations become a mere ritual, and the object is lost, of explaining to the bride and the bridegroom, and those present, important aspects of matrimony, as was the practice of the Prophet by delivering a sermon or Khutba-e-Nikah.
To the best of my knowledge and understanding, the performance of Nikah — which can be conducted by any member of the family, or a friend, and not necessarily by the Qazi or a Moulvi, as is the custom should be done in the manner which would be in keeping with the excellent example set by the Prophet. The recitation of verses from the Holy Quran should be followed by translations in Urdu, English or any other language generally understood by the majority of those present. As a matter of convenience, in the proceedings below, I shall be using translations in English as rendered by Muhammad Asad:
In the name of God, Most Gracious, the Dispenser of Grace. All praise is due to God alone, the Sustainer of all the worlds, the Most Gracious, the Dispenser of Grace, Lord of the Day of Judgment! Thee alone do we worship; and unto Thee alone that we turn for aid. Guide us the straight way the way of those upon whom Thou hast bestowed Thy blessings, not of those who have been condemned [by Thee], nor of those who go astray! (Surah Al- Fatiha. 1: 1 to 7)
Ladies and Gentlemen!
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuhu! On behalf of the parents (name them) of the bride/bridegroom, it gives me great pleasure to welcome you, and to thank you for your presence to witness the Aqd-e-Nikah of the persons concerned and give them your blessings.
It was the tradition of the Holy Prophet, (on whom be peace) to draw the attention of all present to certain verses of the Holy Quran, before delivering the sermon Khutab-e-Nikah. I am taking the liberty to quote two verses, as follows: O Mankind! Be conscious of your Sustainer, who has created you out of one living entity, and out of it created its mate, and out of the two spread abroad a multitude of men and women. And remain conscious of God, in whose name you demand [your rights] from one another, and of these ties of kinship. Verily, God is ever watchful over you. (Surah An-Nisa 4: 1)
O you who have attained to faith! Remain conscious of God, and [always] speak with a will to bring out [only] what is just and true [whereupon] He will cause your deeds to be virtuous , and will forgive you your sins. And [know that] whoever pays heed unto God and His Apostle has already attained to a mighty triumph. (Surah Al-Ahzab. 33: 70-71)
The institution of marriage is, in fact, the basic principle of human civilisation. The Arabic word for marriage is nikah which originally means “aqd” or uniting. Marriage in Islam is a sacred contract which Muslims enter into. The institution of marriage is also responsible to a very great extent for the development of those feelings of love and service which are the pride of humanity.
The mutual love of husband and wife a love based not on momentary passion but life-long relationship and the consequent parental love for offspring, leads to a very high development of the feeling of love. This love is described as a sign of God, in the Holy Quran: And among His wonders is this: He creates for you mates out of your own kind, so that you might incline towards them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you: in this, behold, there are messages indeed for people who think! (Surah Ar-Rum 30: 21)
The mutual relation of husband and wife has thus been described in the Holy Quran as one of a single soul in two bodies. Islam is a practical religion and it does not shut its eyes to the hard realities of life. It describes the home as a unit in the greater organization of a nation as a whole, and just as in the vast national organization there is somebody to exercise the final authority in certain cases, so the smaller organization of the home cannot be maintained without a similar arrangement. Hence the husband is first spoken of as being a ruler over the people of the house and the wife is then described as a ruler over the house of her husband and his children.
The home is thus a kingdom in miniature, where authority is exercised by both the husband and the wife. But unless one of them is given a higher authority, there would be chaos in the kingdom. The reason for giving the higher authority to the male parent is stated in the Holy Quran as follows: Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. And the righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has [ordained to be] guarded. (Surah An-Nisa 4: 34).
From a material as well as a spiritual point of view, Islam recognizes the position of woman to be the same as that of a man. Good works bring the same reward, whether the doer is a male or a female: I shall not lose sight of the labour of any of you who labours [in My way], be it a man or woman: each of you is an issue of the other. (Surah Al Imran 3: 195)
By entering the married state, woman does not lose any of the rights which she possesses as an individual member of society. She is still free to carry on any work she likes, to make any contract she desires, to dispose of her property as she wishes; nor is her individuality merged in that of her husband. But she is at the same time recognized as undertaking new responsibilities of life, which carry with them new rights.
The functions of the husband and the wife are quite distinct, and each is entrusted with the functions which are best suited for his or her nature. The division of work is only the general rule; it does not mean that women have entirely been excluded from other kinds of activity.
According to scholars, a study of the Hadith literature shows that, notwithstanding her rightful position in the home, as the upbringer of children and manager of the household, women took interest in all the national activities of the Muslim community, as we can see from the following authentic traditions recorded by Bukhari, according to a well-known scholar:
The care of the children did not prevent her from repairing to the mosque to join the congregational prayers (Bu. 10: 102, 104), nor was this care an obstacle in her way to join the soldiers in the field of battle, to perform a large number of duties, such as the carrying of provisions (Bu. 56: 66) taking care of the sick and the wounded (Bu. 56: 67), removing the wounded and the slain from the battle-field (Bu.56: 68), or taking part in actual fighting when necessary (Bu. 62, 63, 65).
Women also helped their husbands in the labour of the field (Bu. 67: 108), served the male guests at a feast (67: 78) and carried on business (Bu.11: 40); they could sell to and purchase from men, and men could sell to and purchase from them ( Bu. 34: 67). The family concern must be kept going by husband and wife in mutual co-operation. The Holy Qur’an lays the greatest possible stress on kindly and good treatment towards the wife. Keep them in good fellowship and treat them kindly is the oft recurring advice of the Holy Quran (2: 229, 231; 4: 19, etc.)
The Holy Prophet, (on whom be peace) laid equally great stress upon good treatment of a wife. The most excellent of you he is reported to have said, is he who is best in treatment of his wife (MM. 13: 11-ii). In his famous address at the Farewell Pilgrimage, he again laid particular stress on the good treatment of women: O my people! You have certain rights over your wives and so have your wives over you. They are the trust of Allah in your hands. So you must treat them with all kindness. (M. 15: 19). May the grace and mercy of Allah and His blessings be upon all those who are present here, and all members of their respective families. May God bless the bride and the bridegroom who are entering into the contract of marriage today, to love and honour each other as they express their respective consent to accept this new relationship.
Now, in the presence of all present, it is my pleasant duty to perform the nikah. (After performing the Nikah all present are invited to join in and pray for the newly wedded couple). According to verse 56 of Surah al-Ahzaab (Chapter 33): God and His Angels send blessings on the Prophet: O you who have attained to faith, send ye blessings on him, and salute him with all respect.
After repeating the Arabic text of this verse, all present raise their hands, and after asking the Lord Almighty to send His blessings on the Prophet and his family, pray for the health and happiness of the newly wedded couple.

