“Have you ever felt birth pangs?” Babboo asked.
“Bauhat hi fuzool sawal kiya hai aap ne!”

“By birth I do not only mean the birth of a child. It could be birth of an idea, birth of a sher (verse), or birth of an uncontrollable urge to love or to hate.”

“Why should you call it 'birth pang' then? Only women suffer birth pangs - particularly before they make their contribution to the population explosion!” I said.

“You have this wrong notion that birth pangs can only be felt by a woman - that would culminate in one more addition to the human race. Anyone, man or woman, could experience birth pangs, and going through the pain of giving birth to a child has nothing to do with it. Even countries felt birth pangs.” Babboo said.

“What nonsense.”

“Take Russia and Ukraine, for instance.They are having these pangs on the question of the birth of the great 19th century satirist Nikolai Gogol. The two countries are bickering over Gogol's birth - two hundred years after he was born.”

“But 19th century Ukraine was not an independent country. It was a part of Russia itself.”
“Yes, But even at that time, Gogol produced stinging satirical masterpieces about Russian society while writing lovingly about Ukrainian customs.” He said.

“I suppose it was an isolated case of a disputed place of birth.”
“It was not an isolated case. In our part of the world too, Sialkot and Lahore have been constantly suffering from birth pangs and bicker over Iqbal's and Faiz's births.” Babboo went on.

It looked as if he himself was having birth pangs and was about to deliver something - some great dissertation, if not something more spry.

“Both cities are in Pakistan, why can't the Sialkotees and the Lahorees be satisfied with the fact that these two great poets were in any case Pakistani?” I said.

“Just like you cannot have two real mothers, you cannot have two birth places either, can you? Only one could be your biological mother and only at one place would she deliver you. Once a mother has delivered her child, she fiercely protects her baby, even though it is as slow-witted as you.”

“But sometimes a mother might also disown her child who was somewhat rickety - like your good self!” I said.
“Must you always hit back?” Babboo said.

“I am sorry. But while on the subject of disowning, it reminds me that Poland, for instance, did not own Joseph Conrad. You might know that his real name was Konrad Korzeniowski, and despite being Polish he did not write in his mother language which was Polish. He wrote in English. What was interesting, the English too disowned him, because in his novel 'Heart of Darkness' he had described river Thames as the river leading to the 'heart of immense darkness.' Conrad's voyage to Congo had convinced him of Englishman's greed for ivory.”  

“I am really impressed with your knowledge of Joseph Conrad. Where did you hear all this?”
“I did not hear it. I read it.” I corrected Babboo.

“What more do you know about Joseph Conrad?” He tried to challenge me.

“I think that is enough for you for the day. But I would like to tell you that the English have continued with their greediness through centuries and this avarice has not stopped to this day. Then it was ivory, now it is oil.”

“Yaar, you have completely 'Conrad' (cornered) me! But we were talking about birth pangs, and it was I who raised this issue.” He said.

“What issue - the issue of birth or the issue of pang?”  

“Please don't try to confuse me. Stick to the topic. I think you will agree that Pakistan and India too have occasional birth pangs and bicker over the ownership of Asadullah Khan Ghalib, Saadat Hasan Manto and Qurratulain Haider.”  

I was getting tired of this senseless discussion (kajj bahsi), but an argument is an argument - and for the sake of it - I said “Haven't you noticed that there is one poor child about whose birth this country has not suffered from any pangs.”

“Who is he?”
“He is the Nobel laureate Professor Abdus Salam. Do you know the reason why the Motherland does not own him?” 

“A religious issue?”
“Your guess is correct. But there is one more reason for ignoring him.”

“What is it?”
“Because he discovered the weak nuclear force.”

“By accident?”
“I don't know, but his birth in Jhang, Pakistan, was probably not  very fortunate, was it?”