Don't wait for Mother's Day. Go hug your mom  and grandma. They are your heroines. And by the way, it's okay for men to cry. Go ahead and cry when your tears well up.

Do men cry? Hours before he fought the presidential election, news of his grandmother's death came. He was at a campaign rally. Barack Obama spoke of her death from cancer.

His photos show a teardrop streaking down his face. Calling it a “bittersweet time” in his life, there was dignified sadness in his voice and face. The crowd in Charlotte, North Carolina, understood his pain. It did its best to pull him along, shouting words of support as he took the crowd on a brief journey of Madelyn Dunham's life. It was a poignant moment the woman who helped raise him passing away just hours before he was elected president.

“No matter what happens tomorrow (Nov 4), I'm going to feel good about how it has turned out because all of you have created this remarkable campaign. She is gone home. And she died peacefully in her sleep, with my sister at her side. And so, there is great joy as well as tears. I'm not going to talk about it too long because it is hard, a little, to talk about,” he told the rally.

“I want everybody to know though a little bit about her,” he began. “She was somebody who was a very humble person, a very plainspoken person. She is one of those quiet heroes we have all across America, who are not famous, their names are not in the newspapers, but each and every day they work hard. They look after their families. They sacrifice for their children, and their grandchildren. They aren't seeking the limelight. All they try to do is do the right thing. And in this crowd, there are a lot of quiet heroes like that, people like that, mothers and fathers and grandparents who have worked hard and sacrificed all their lives and the satisfaction that they get is in seeing their children or maybe their grandchildren or their great-grandchildren live a better life than they did. That is what America is about. That is what we are fighting for.”

My male readers may shrug off this column as an old-fashioned story. No, it isn't. It's about the new US president and the kind of home environment he got when growing up. Would you not want to stop and think what ingredients went into making this black — half and half — waif into the most powerful man in the world today? It was his white grandma, dear male readers. We tend to put grannies on the backburner. That's where these sweet old things belong, we argue, and we move on to more sexy stuff.

Moms too, especially the 'over-the-hill' types, get the same treatment of being passé and therefore mummified for family archives. How short- sighted? The macho in Pakistani men never lets them acknowledge in public that whatever success they achieve in life is because of their mothers and the sacrifices they made. Why are Pakistani men so boorish about praising their mothers in public? Rarely have I heard any guy who has made it to the top, stand up and say 'Thank You' to his mother before a crowd. American men are a different. They get all teary-eyed, maudlin and touchy-feely when they say that it's their moms who are responsible for putting them where they stand on life's pedestal today. Bravo!

Obama euphoria has sadly bypassed the woman who deserves to be celebrated most. She made it possible for her grandson to become president of the United States of America. She worked like a slave to run her frugal life and that of her two grandchildren abandoned by their mother while young. Read a book called Half and Half and you will get the full picture of what indignities Obama must have faced as a biracial. Think of how this white woman must have waited at the door to hug this mix of American identity, each time someone broke her grandson's heart and called him “Mulatto.”

A mulatto is a person having one white and one black parent. Obama's mother was white; his father black.

Take your mind to the times when in a small family home in Hawaii, Obama's grandma must have suffered her neighbours' indifference. White people don't like mixing with blacks. Madelyn was white as was her husband, but their grandson was black. Still the grandparents doted on him. Think of those long hot summer evenings when Obama must have sat on his desk slogging away to earn a full scholarship to Harvard Law School. Not much is known of his lonely journey while growing up; nor have any schoolmates or any high school teachers stepped forward to claim their acquaintance with the president-elect. Obama was a loner, a private person.

Obama's victory speech that night in Chicago stirred feelings that had lain dormant in many. There was something about the man that juxtaposed struggle, perseverance and courage of immigrants who left their shores to make America their dream. I sent an email to someone in the US who represents the best of an immigrant story. “America is a fantastic country and we are really proud of it after watching history being made today,” I wrote. “Almost all the people I know in Pakistan wanted Obama to win. In many ways Obama's success reminds me your long struggle. And while I am very happy that your parents knew early on about the success you were headed towards, it saddens me that your mother never lived long enough to see her son break the racial barrier and reach the top. That's why I cried when I heard Obama's grandma passing hours before her grandson whom she raised become president of the US. His grandma's story will haunt me. I wish I could know more about this remarkable woman.”

Don't wait for Mother's Day. Go hug your mom and grandma. They are your heroines. And by the way, it's okay for men to cry. Go ahead and cry when your tears well up.