Parents lay the foundation of education. Unfortunately a majority of parents in Pakistan are unaware of the educational needs of their children as most mothers are illiterate and most fathers are too busy to attend to their children. A mass scale education of parents on their role in the education of their children can be best imparted through the electronic media. Furthermore schools can give them training through workshops and talks on how to bring up children before and after entering school and regarding their role in the continuing formal education of their children. Such training should be made mandatory for parents whose children seek admission in those schools.

Parents’ responsibility

Parents are obliged to lay in their children the foundation of good behaviour, manners, obedience, respect and love for elders and teachers, honesty, truthfulness, cleanliness and caring attitude for others. And they can achieve all these things by giving love, respect and tender care to their children.

Children when young are highly impressionable and curious by nature. It is the joint duty of parents and teachers to fully exploit these two qualities of children for character building, personality development and promotion of intellectual abilities of questioning, reasoning, thinking and creativity. Parents should encourage children to ask questions and make an effort to answer their questions and give detailed explanations in order to satisfy their curiosity and remove their ignorance.

However, instead of spoon feeding them all the time, the parents should also encourage and guide children to think and use various resources to answer their own questions and resolve their own problems. Such training is essential to make them self-learners, self-assertive, self-confident and research-minded.

Tactfulness

Parents must make sure to demonstrate to their children what is good and should not do anything in front of them that they do not wish the young ones to pick up. Children highly resent being ordered not to do this or that and insist on doing what is prohibited. There are only four ways to prevent them from doing wrong things.

Firstly, one should divert their attention from doing something wrong towards doing something right. Second, one should convince the children through polite reasoning why not to do something that may be wrong. Third, it is important to quickly reward children both for not doing a wrong thing as well as for doing something right. And fourth, the least effective and unpleasant, is being firm although using tact rather than using force, which may also have to be resorted to if absolutely unavoidable on some occasions provided it is absolutely free of violence.

Corporal punishment should have no place in the upbringing of children. Much can be done for children by understanding their behaviour and when our responses are adjusted to their understanding rather than by using firmness and force. It must not be forgotten that the force of reason is stronger and more effective than brute physical force. Suppressing children in the name of discipline can also seriously damage their self-esteem and confidence that will in turn create in them an inferiority complex, damaging their mental development and adversely affecting their performance in academics and social life.

Role models

It must be realised that parents are the first role models whom the children are most impressed with. Therefore parents are duty bound to set a high standard of conduct for their children to follow.

Lack of proper upbringing of children by parents at home is the main reason for the indiscipline, rowdiness, immoral and unethical practices and violence encountered in the students’ community today. Good parents devote time to their children when they are at home, give them company in sports and other venues of entertainment. They also encourage them to pursue and organise hobbies, social functions, and visits and even write diaries, reflections on their achievements and failures and write reports on events of their interest. They should read and discuss written reports with their children for useful feedback.

Humanity begins at home

While teachers will do everything to win the hearts of their students, parents must play their role to convince their children, especially the older ones, that teachers are their mentors in whom they must place their trust and confidence and listen to what they say. In fact, there are only two categories of people who will never be jealous of students, will always seek their betterment and will feel proud of their performance and achievements. These are their parents and the teachers.

Parents must realise that the basis of physical, mental, social and spiritual development of the children is laid and fortified at home with the joint effort of both parents, supplemented by brothers and sisters and the rest of the family. Humanity begins at home.

It is the parents’ responsibility to present the world with healthy, civilised, cultured, disciplined, honourable, courageous, responsible, loving and caring individuals. The overall strength and performance of a nation depends on the collective effort of the entire family headed by the two parents that is carried forward by the teachers. Children are like flower buds; if properly nurtured at home they can unfold into beautiful and fragrant flowers. The seeds of excellence, righteousness, compassion, harmony and success are sown at home.

The writer is professor emeritus at Khyber Medical University, Peshawar.