Picture this: It is your result day at school. The day that makes your pulse race and you lose sleep, rest, appetite and are scared of what is to come. But somehow deep down in your heart you are sure that things will go smooth and you will get that first position you feel you deserve since your prelims went very well.
The results are announced but, in utter shock and disbelief, you hear your name being called out as the second position holder while your friend bags the first position. As much as you hate to admit it, you can’t help feel a pang of envy because your friend got what you wanted. Wondering whoever in the world gets envious of their friends? Well, believe it or not, but the shocking truth is that envy can spring up even between the very best of friends.
The most common and disturbing of all the human emotions is envy. Since times immemorial, envy has existed and everyone has experienced it some time or the other. It is a very negative emotion, so much so that it leaves a person stressed out, frustrated, disappointed and gloomy. And if allowed to grow inside us and not curbed at the bud, it can affect our health and well-being.
Moreover, the consequences of envy can ruin relationships and cause wars — history is full of examples of various rulers who initiated wars and killed their own brothers out of envy. It is interesting to note that this emotion is not just restricted to humans only, but found even in animals such as chimpanzees and elephants.
According to psychologists, humans are envious by nature, however, the good news is that it is possible to curb this negative emotion and we must learn to do so at an early age for a healthy and successful life in later years. And as it is said, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” so here are a few things you can do to avoid this negative emotion from gripping you.
Don’t compare: Quit comparing yourself with others. Comparison might develop inferiority or superiority complex and other negative emotions in you. Just remember that each one of us has our own talents and that we are made all unique in our own way.
Be positive: Feel great about yourself everyday by being confident. Think positive, know and count your attributes and be happy about them. This will give you renewed confidence and inner strength. Be grateful about whatever you have and who you are.
It is said, “If you wait for happy moments, you wait forever, but if you start believing that you are happy, you will be happy forever”. So be grateful and happy. Think nice about others and help them achieve their targets and when a person achieves them, be happy and satisfied with what you have.
Talk to elders: Talk to your elder brothers or sisters, your parents or any elder you can trust. They will guide and motivate you about the right thing to do with the help of their knowledge and experience.
Write down your feelings: Another good and positive way to deal with this negative feeling is to write in a journal your true feelings and talk to yourself as how to avoid and tackle it and practise the ways that come to your mind. In no time you will see that this is an effective strategy in tackling negative emotions.
However, for this or any other method to succeed, you must truly want to overcome the envy you are feeling.
Be motivated: Instead of being envious of someone and feeling gloomy over not having what you want, you can concentrate your energy towards how you can achieve what you want and turn your negative emotions into positive ones by getting motivated to achieve your target.
Be patient: If you want anything in life, work hard to achieve it, do your best and wait patiently till your efforts bear fruits instead of envying the person who has what you want. Trust me, your turn will also come.
Keep in mind that time and health are too precious to be wasted over a miserable feeling like envy. Once you realise this fact you will find yourself on the road to a happy, successful and healthy life.