“I FELT that my future was already ruined, the future of the children would also be ruined.” These are the words of a Frenchwoman named Sylvie Yasmina who was rescued along with her five children from a dilapidated dwelling in Bara, Khyber Pakhtunkhwa. When police got to the house, they found Sylvie and her children living in an unfinished, broken-down house with bruises all over their bodies. The rescue took place because Sylvie’s eldest son had somehow managed to escape and go to the authorities. There he explained to police that he was French and that his mother and siblings were being held captive.
After the rescue, Sylvie told the police that she and her husband, who is from KP, had married in 2003. At the time, both had been living in Australia, where her husband had been working illegally. They had two children there, where they lived until 2012. They moved to KP after that and had no contact with the outside world since 2014. News videos showed the family living in a derelict home, with the youngest of the five children in ragged clothes. After the rescue, Sylvie was taken to a women’s police station where authorities saw that she had been beaten. The French embassy was contacted and proceedings begun to verify their identities. Once these are completed, Sylvie is expected to return to France with her children.
The story of Sylvie’s ordeal is extremely disturbing. From the condition of the home and the children, it is evident that the family was living in an abusive situation. In interviews, Sylvie said that her husband would beat them at the slightest pretext. She said she was not allowed to meet anyone. The older two children had missed their schooling and the younger two had never been enrolled in school and were illiterate. Sylvie conveyed this in a mix of Pashto and English.
Sylvie and her children managed to escape because she is French and the French government will help her leave and make a life for herself again. However, millions of women in Pakistan are trapped in similar situations with nowhere to go. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about Gulaan Bharo in Sindh, who was also being abused by her husband. She too ran to a women’s police station for help. Before she could reach safety, her family convinced her to return for the sake of their ‘honour’. Once she returned, she was killed by her husband with the collusion of her own family. She had no foreign country to escape to.
A patriarchal society teaches women to hate themselves.
Thirty-four per cent of ever-married Pakistani women have experienced spousal physical, sexual or emotional violence, according to the UN. This is an extraordinarily high figure, which reveals just how acceptable violence against women is. As one 2023 study by researchers Fizza Raza and Heili Pals reveals, the problem isn’t just the number of men who believe such violence is permissible but also the number of women who, having grown up in a patriarchal household and society, think it is acceptable.
According to the study, 35pc of women and 25pc of men think it is justifiable for a husband to beat his wife if she goes out without asking his permission. Nearly 22pc of men and 37pc of women think it is justifiable to beat a wife if she argues with him. Similarly, 38pc of men and 47pc of women justified wife-beating for these reasons as well as refusing sex or neglecting children.
When the researchers looked at these findings, they were puzzled by the high percentages among women. They therefore separated the results between women interviewed alone and those interviewed in the presence of a family member or others. They found that the discrepancy was greatly reduced when women were interviewed privately. Women felt great pressure to express acceptance of wife-beating when they felt they were being overheard.
This reveals just how much pressure women in Pakistan face to accede to the norms of a patriarchal system even when it goes against their own interests. Women who could speak confidentially were much more likely to disagree that it is acceptable for a husband to beat his wife. Even so, many still agreed with the premise. This shows how a patriarchal society teaches women to hate themselves.
Many men in Pakistan think it is acceptable to beat their wives. The 2023 study found that the passage of time has not really reduced these numbers even as awareness of domestic abuse has increased. When cases like the unfortunate Frenchwoman’s come to light, it becomes evident just how pervasive and isolating domestic violence is. One can only wish that the millions of victims of abuse in Pakistan surviving in silence also had a way out.
The writer is an attorney teaching constitutional law and political philosophy.
Published in Dawn, July 4th, 2026