Hi Auntie,
I am writing to express my feelings regarding my parents’ behaviour. They are celebrating my cousin’s achievement and not acknowledging my achievement of graduation. They often mention that I did not pass a specific school exam in my childhood that my cousin passed. Whenever I share my good results with them, they respond by saying, “I don’t understand this stuff.”

I shared these concerns with my aunt, and she labelled me as a jealous person, which I found very distressing.

I sincerely await your response.
An Advice Seeker

‘My Family Does Not Acknowledge My Achievements’

Dear Advice Seeker,
Being overlooked by your own parents can truly hurt, especially at those times when you are feeling proud of yourself. Your graduation is a big achievement. Just think about it. You put in many years of effort and hard work to graduate. This not only deserves to be acknowledged, it needs to be celebrated! 

When parents constantly compare children, based on something that happened during childhood, it can literally take you back to a version of yourself that you should have outgrown a long time ago. A school exam from many years ago in which you didn’t perform that well cannot and should not be any part of the person that you are today.

Over time, people grow, they acquire new skills and their confidence increases. Yet sometimes others, and unfortunately in your case your parents, continue to hold on to an old story and keep repeating it, without realising how much damage it is causing. It can almost feel like your achievements are being dismissed and trivialised.

And when they say, “I don’t understand this stuff,” it can feel like they are minimising your success. Still, your parents’ limitation in understanding your achievement does not make it any less. It also seems that your parents may lack exposure and might be uncomfortable with your accomplishments. 

Also, being called jealous must hurt because your achievements not being seen or acknowledged is not about jealousy. It is coming from the very human need to be recognised, especially by your parents. Your desire for appreciation is not a character defect.

Unfortunately, some parents never learn how to validate and recognise their children. They will do what is needed: they will provide for you and they will also worry and care for you. But they don’t know how to say, “I’m proud of you.”

I suggest that you avoid waiting for the acknowledgment that may never come. And don’t hold it against your parents because it seems they truly don’t know any better. Instead, you should start to give yourself the acknowledgment that you didn’t receive.

I am not suggesting that you become disrespectful towards your parents. I am simply asking you to readjust your expectations from them. Share your successes with people who understand them, such as your friends, teachers and relatives who will wish you well. 

You are not the person who failed one exam in childhood. You are the person who graduated successfully. It is an achievement. Do not minimise it to fit someone else’s limited view of you.

Be proud of yourself. Sometimes, recognising your own achievements is the beginning of real confidence.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.

Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, February 15th, 2026