Dear Auntie Agni,
I hope you are well. I am seeking your advice regarding a situation that has been troubling me for some time. I like someone very much — she is my cousin — and at one point, it seemed we shared mutual feelings. However, she suddenly blocked me without giving any explanation. This abrupt ending has left me with unresolved emotions and I find myself repeatedly wondering where I went wrong.
I am pursuing my MPhil at a very young age and I am the first student from my community to achieve this milestone. I am also preparing for competitive exams, including the Central Superior Services (CSS). I have worked hard to move on and focus on my personal growth. Yet, despite my best efforts, I feel a natural inclination towards her, as if a part of me still holds on. As Ahmed Faraz beautifully said: ‘Qurbat bhi nahin, dil se utar bhi nahin jata’ — I am neither close nor able to completely let go.
I consider myself a highly dedicated, committed and consistent person. I have tried everything to free myself from this lingering attachment, but I am unsure how to reconcile my feelings with the need to fully move forward. I would really appreciate any advice you can give me on this.Warms regards,
Unresolved Feelings
‘I Can’t Let Go Of Someone Who Left Without Explanation’
Dear Unresolved Feelings,
When someone disappears from our lives without explanation, the mind fills in the blanks. You think about conversations and your own behaviour for something that might explain what happened. But not all endings come with reasons, and not all silences have answers. Someone blocking you is not about your worth but a boundary the other person chose to put between you. Let it be.
You are driven and self-aware. You are an MPhil who is preparing for CSS… these are not small achievements. But emotional intelligence does not mean you are not emotional. People who are committed usually struggle with unfinished stories, because they are not used to leaving things unresolved.
The verse you quoted from Ahmed Faraz is painfully apt. Some attachments do not require closeness to survive. This does not mean you are weak or stuck. It means you allowed yourself to feel.
Closure is not something another person gives you. It is something you decide to stop seeking. Your cousin’s silence is also a form of communication. It says she chose to keep a distance. The reason behind it — whether it is fear or family pressure — is, in the end, less important than the choice itself.
You are not failing at moving on because a part of you still feels drawn to her. You are already doing the hard part by continuing your work even when your heart is not in it.
You have to learn to allow the memory of this girl to exist without feeding it. Do not argue with your feelings, but do not obey them either. With time, the feelings will lose intensity. One day you will realise that what you were holding on to was not the person herself, but the version of her that you imagined.
Stay focused and be kind to yourself. What is meant for you will not require you to shrink your self-worth.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately.
Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com
Published in Dawn, EOS, January 25th, 2026