Life goes on, and we move on with it. But a part of us changes every day, mainly because of the lessons time teaches us — lessons that are priceless and not taught in schools or colleges, for they are the ones that only people and circumstances can teach. We all have different stories, characters, climaxes and plots in our lives. With every experience, we grow a little wiser, a little stronger. And in the end, it’s these lessons that shape how we see the world and ourselves.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learnt throughout my life’s journey is to learn to say, ‘no’. Yes, this is perhaps one of the most valuable lessons one should learn and act upon while moving forward. Trust me when I say it brings peace to your life. It adds an element of contentment to your life’s story.

When you set boundaries, it means you love yourself enough to take care of your own needs. Loving yourself is the key that unlocks much of your potential. The people around you will respect you only when you respect yourself — and that happens when you know you deserve it. You deserve peace, a life full of joy, and a life where you can make your own choices and try your hand at new adventures, without handing the remote control to others.

When you gain mastery over self-love, you automatically start saying ‘no’ to the things that make you uneasy, doubtful, or cause you to question yourself. Saying yes to everything and everyone is equivalent to silencing your inner voice. You have a right to live your own life and design it your own way.

As we get older, things start getting complicated; a sea of thoughts stretches before our eyes every day. Therefore, a way to make life simpler and more peaceful is to say no. You must recognise the tasks that bring you no peace and no ease. You may have heard that intelligent people know what they want; however, wise people know what they don’t want.

It all comes down to the fact that we all want to become better versions of ourselves, yet only a few of us take the steps to do so. We have to climb the stairs of self-love and self-care, recognise our boundaries and be honest with ourselves. The result of all this is simple — we ultimately learn to say no.

Paulo Coelho once said, “When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself!”

Published in Dawn, Young World, November 15th, 2025