‘Office politics haunts me’

Dear Auntie,

I worked in the private sector where I was very frightened of my boss and supervisor. I don’t know why they teased me so much. All my colleagues got promotions and increments, except me. I thought one colleague was close to me but, behind my back, she always tried to destroy my reputation with my boss. She took advantage of me being a passionate person who shows anger instantly. I don’t understand why she did that because I was her sincere friend. She blocked my advancement and I was not promoted according to my skills and grades. Fed up with the politics there, I resigned.

Two years have passed since but I still can’t forget the rubbish politics there. I suffered depression and I also have nightmares about it. I am preparing for competitive exams, but I still can’t forgive all those people. What should I do?

Depressed-Since-Two-Years

Dear Depressed-Since-Two-Years,

You became the victim of office politics and you should learn your lessons from it. The mistake you made (and which many people who become victims of office politics make) is that they become too relaxed in the office environment.

You became relaxed and made a ‘friend’ who later stabbed you in the back. You let go of the professional veneer and lost your cool. Those are the moments that leave you the most vulnerable, and which enable others to attack and strike at you. It sounds terrible, but that is the reality of many offices around the world.

You are preparing for your competitive exams, so it is inevitable that, sooner or later, you will land up in an office again where there will be plenty of politics to deal with. You absolutely always have to maintain a professional veneer when you are in an office. So, avoid looking like you have nothing to do. Always look busy and say that you are swamped with work.

Avoid posting pics on social media from your workplace which send the message that you have nothing to do, or get too busy with organising ‘non work’ activities like the office cricket match, unless it is part of your job description. Getting too involved in side activities sends the message that you don’t have enough work to do.

Also remember that informal events at work are not informal, even if the management says they are. It’s ‘Family Day’? Take members of your family and sacrifice your Sunday for it. Do not let your guard down while there. Never ever complain about the work environment. If you don’t like it, discreetly look for another job.

There will be office gossip and you will hear it. Let the gossip stop at you. Do not further it and absolutely don’t get involved. And never ever start the gossip. Always looks busy, even if you aren’t and it would be even better if you looked too busy to listen to the gossip.

Think about your own career goals and work on them, alongside your office work. There are so many online courses that can help you improve your skills. You can do them quietly in the office during downtime. The upside of this is that you will always look busy, so it’s a win- win.

Do not expect people to support you if you stand up against the CEO or the management. Do not expect anyone to have your back. In the workplace, it is everybody for themselves. You would need genuine support (and the ability to recognise it) if you are about to put yourself out there. Just don’t get too comfortable at work.

Disclaimer: If you or someone you know is in crisis and/or feeling suicidal, please go to your nearest emergency room and seek medical help immediately. Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, April 10th, 2022