“WHAT brings you to Toronto Mr Bates?” Mr Jameson, the branch manager at Thomas & Thomas International Bank asks the famous detective.

“A little birdie told me that you needed my help on some case,” Alfred Bates replies while inspecting the vicinity.

“Actually yes, but it’s a small matter. People using our ATM have complained that whenever they use our ATMs, they seem to be followed by certain people who either mug them when they are in a blind alley or leave them alone as if nothing happened.”

“What does it have to do with the bank?” the detective starts with the questioning. “Doesn’t your security end here at the branch?”

“Yes, it does, but last week my lawyer was mugged after using the ATM.”

“Oh. That’s sad.”

“… And he was carrying a parcel that was — I mean still is — of importance to the bank,” the manager clarifies.

“First of all, you should be truthful to me,” Alfred Bates says, as he confronts Mr Jameson. “Second, if it’s a personal matter, don’t hide it at least me from me!”

“How the …”

“It is my business to know things Mr Jameson.”

“You are right, it wasn’t my lawyer… it was the bank’s errand boy.”

“Of course it was, had it been your lawyer, it would have been in the papers and I would have known about it,” Alfred Bates explains.

“And the parcel…”

“Is in fact the birthday gift for your wife that you were sending to the courier’s for dispatch,” the detective completes the sentence before the manager.

“How did you know that?”

“The ring on your finger tells me you are a married man,” the detective begins his deduction. “The day after tomorrow on your calendar is marked, it means it’s of someone you care; since you are too young to be a father, hence I detect a wife. The courier would have delivered the package with flowers and a card on her birthday — say — in two days’ time. Right?”

“Good God sir!” The manager exclaims. “If anyone can find the parcel, it is you.”

“I already know where it is.”

“Where would that be?”

“First of all, I need you to assemble all your security guards.”

“That can be arranged. What then?”

“The one with the newest pair of shoes is the culprit.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Because if I were a serial mugger at a bank’s ATM, I would prefer to work at that bank rather than lurk outside and wait for my prey.”

“And the shoes?”

“Who would want to run away at high speed in old shoes, would you? He has the means to buy the shoes since he has mugged many.” Bates explains his theory. “And remember to place someone at the main entrance and the back exit before assembling the guards, as the robber might try to run away.”

“Mr Bates, you were right!” a happy Mr Jameson says as he enters his office after five minutes. “Not only did we apprehend the guard, we also found the parcel in his locker. But tell me, why would he not dispose it off?”

“He was a shrewd man,” Bates says as he continued his analysis. “He wanted to cash the discovery as well.”

“Wouldn’t that have given him away as the culprit?” The bank manager inquires.

“Who says he would have blackmailed you for the discovery of the parcel,” Bates replies. “He could have said that he nearly caught the guy who was carrying it.”

“Aaaaah!” A relieved branch manager says as he takes a huge sigh of relief. “How do you know such things about the criminal mind, sir?”

“It is my job to think like one,” Bates concludes. “Makes it easier to catch many.” — O.A.

Opinion

Editorial

Energy inflation
Updated 23 May, 2024

Energy inflation

The widening gap between the haves and have-nots is already tearing apart Pakistan’s social fabric.
Culture of violence
23 May, 2024

Culture of violence

WHILE political differences are part of the democratic process, there can be no justification for such disagreements...
Flooding threats
23 May, 2024

Flooding threats

WITH temperatures in GB and KP forecasted to be four to six degrees higher than normal this week, the threat of...
Bulldozed bill
Updated 22 May, 2024

Bulldozed bill

Where once the party was championing the people and their voices, it is now devising new means to silence them.
Out of the abyss
22 May, 2024

Out of the abyss

ENFORCED disappearances remain a persistent blight on fundamental human rights in the country. Recent exchanges...
Holding Israel accountable
22 May, 2024

Holding Israel accountable

ALTHOUGH the International Criminal Court’s prosecutor wants arrest warrants to be issued for Israel’s prime...