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Irony, tiramisu and pounds

February 23, 2011


Illustration by Faraz Aamer Khan/

Introductions are in order here so let’s say it is safe to remember me as Bisma from Brooklyn. I am at that age where your dreams no longer matter because you must get married or suffer at the hands of all Pakistani aunties in the whole wide world.

My family and friends, with only good intentions, are constantly setting me up with rishtas and blind dates. All the chai time and dinners have been, to say the least, an interesting experience and a few stand out for many different reasons.

Taimur * has got to be one of the most memorable person I have ever dated just because it was the ‘almost perfect date.’

People meet people everyday. Have you ever met a great person and then you find out something about them that you might not like? ‘If they weren’t like that or had…’

It’s just a darn shame.

Well, Taimur stuck out for many reasons because he actually caught my fancy and we ended up on a third date (if you haven’t been reading – that’s actually a BIG deal for me).

He had a great sense of humour, intelligent, and didn’t make it all so serious – I felt like I was meeting a friend I hadn’t seen in years.

We had been out for dinner once, and the second time we had gone out to a play, way off Broadway – just the place where I like my plays (exceptions were made for Rent’s last show on Broadway).

Taimur had been following this comedian who was in town and wanted to see his show. It was fine with me, I am always up for a good laugh. After the show we had planned some dessert and coffee at this quaint little Italian place (I melt here).

After the show, we made our way to the Italian place and found this private little spot in the corner. It wasn’t a fancy place (fancy is just not my thing) but there was this comfort about it that I wont forget.

Since we had dinner at the comedy show, we ended up having coffee and Italian desserts – he ordered a cannoli and I ordered the tiramisu.

We were talking randomly; one subject leading to another but not really connected in any way. He asked me what I did in my spare time and I told him I was a complete bookworm and a total news junkie. He said that he liked to work out – he worked out about 5-6 hours a day, five days a week.

I told him that was great and wished I had his kind of dedication to take care of myself. I told him the most I do is watch what I eat – like no fast food (for the last six years and proud of it). I had not found an exercise regimen that appealed to me, yet.

Then the conversation went something like this:

Taimur: Maybe you shouldn’t eat the tiramisu then? Me: (laughing embarrassed) What!?? Very funny – but I barely ever have dessert. Taimur: Well you know, Bisma, it couldn’t hurt to lose a few. Me: Yeah, I know it doesn’t hurt to – I guess I just need to get motivated and honestly I am petrified of gyms and would rather workout outside or something. Gyms are claustrophobic. (My effort to change the direction of the conversation) Taimur: Honest – though you would be perfect if you lost like 10 pounds or something…seriously you would be hot!!! Me: Whoa – Taimur if you are trying to tell me you don’t find me attractive and want to be friends there is a polite way to do it (still joking). Taimur: No Bisma, you got me all wrong. When are you going to admit it though you could lose weight? Me: You know everyone can afford to keep tabs on their weight – there is nothing wrong with watching your weight with a healthy exercise and diet routine. But you aren’t doing that…you’re insulting me now… Taimur: You are making this too personal. Me: Of course it's personal! You are talking about my body and this is our third date – we do not know each other that way. You could have invited me to a workout session with you instead you tell me that I am almost good-looking and could lose 10 pounds. Thanks – if I wasn’t self-conscious before – I totally am now. Taimur: Look I think your pretty and just made a suggestion – I don’t think it was a big deal. Me: Wow, thanks – that makes me feel a whole better. So excited that you think I am pretty – can’t wait to tell everyone – Taimur kinda accepts me (sarcastic). Don’t bother…excuse me waiter, I would like this tiramisu to go… Taimur: You are going?!?!? Me: Yup, and with my dessert…

So that was the end of Taimur but the upside was that – that was best tiramisu I ever had…

Until the next one,

Bisma from Brooklyn

P.S. I would like to take this opportunity to invite the reader, men and women, to share your story. Please take the following advice into consideration:

Please refrain from using disrespectful language, ranting on women or men, and using real names and/or places out of respect for others.

Other than that, I wish you “happy sharing.”

(*) Names and background information have been changed/withheld to respect person(s) involved.

The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.