The caller was new in town, so it took time for him to understand that in the capital, grades matter in the graveyard as well. The secretaries falling in 21 and 22 grades in Islamabad are given a plot at a pricier place than the civil bureaucracy who can only reach up to grade 20 in this lifetime. Federal secretaries, chairpersons and director generals have a sector allocated all to themselves here, even after death.

“Match making is not an easy task, in the circle I move,” says Amna Anis who runs a marriage bureau in Lahore. In her efforts to connect families of boys and girls with their 'preferences' or so called 'requirements', the list of both the prospective parties have to be matched. “You will be surprised to know that the area and locality you live in is also a very important preference,” she adds for my knowledge. “It matters a lot, especially to the boy's family where they go to see the girl.”

Even if Anis is confident that the girl's family is by no means less affluent than the boy's, going to an area which is not considered 'posh' in the city becomes an issue. “Even before seeing the girl, they want to know where she lives. It has to be Defence, Gulberg or Cantt. The boys don't cooperate. They simply refuse to go to an area which is not considered posh according to their parameters. 'Why should we be the sacrificial goat? What will the people say...? Anarkali se larki lai hain...' is their standard answer.

In the late '90s, when we moved to Islamabad from Karachi, the search for a house meeting our 'requirements' took a long time. For me, the preferences included a small garden, a good view, quality construction and a quiet street. But when my property dealer asked the sector preference, I did not have an answer ready for him. “Any sector that fulfils my requirements,” was my reply. “No Madam, it has to be E or F, depending on how far you can stretch your budget.” And then to my surprise, he shared a joke. “In our language we say, E is for Elite, F is for Fair, G is for General Public and I is for those Idiots who believe they are living in Islamabad but they are actually in Rawalpindi.”

Asghar Bhatti, running a property business says, “People are very choosy when it comes to selecting the sector even within Islamabad. I find these people very artificial. If they cannot afford to buy a house in F sector they will rent one there rather than buy one in another sector. They would never move from F sector to G sector because it will be degrading for them. I have known many families who have moved to better localities when it comes to their children's marriages.” Amongst the clients he deals with, Bhatti believes “men are somehow more accommodating and not so choosy; it's the women who are more particular and status conscious.”

“When you talk about breakfast, children coming from the Defence area will write cereal, peanut butter, croissants. In the branch at the other end of town they will think of eggs, double roti, rusk and paratha. I don't want to sound a snob, but the area and the location of the school does determine the level and academic standard of children enrolled,” says Mrs Rehman, a kindergarten teacher working for a popular chain of schools in Karachi.

Recently moved from a so called posh locality school to a comparatively less posh area, she says, “even though the teachers have no biases, the children develop complexes and it's strange to see how this is registered in their sub-conscious.”

“This has nothing to do with westernisation or modernisation. It's all about affordability,” says Usama Bin Murad, an architect working in the capital. Vast differences in socioeconomic status are evident everywhere. “Everyone in Islamabad dreams of living in F-6 or F-7. If they can't afford it they come down to reality. They may buy a small plot and then come to the architect who can try to make the most of it. The poor and the wealthy live side by side in urban and rural areas. Even when not so obvious, distinctions of class are found in almost every settlement in our country.”