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'Our husbands are our culture': Twitterati take on Sadaf Kanwal's thoughts on marriage and feminism

'Our husbands are our culture': Twitterati take on Sadaf Kanwal's thoughts on marriage and feminism

Women are getting abused, raped and murdered, and she thinks feminism is about not babysitting husbands, users posted.
Updated 31 Jul, 2021

Model Sadaf Kanwal's latest ruminations on feminism and a woman's role in a marriage have left the internet scratching its collective head. She said some strange things, the strangest being "our husbands are our culture" and people are rightfully puzzled.

In her interview to ARY, Kanwal claimed women are not oppressed. "They're very strong, I think I am very strong, and I'm sure you are too," she told the interviewer.

"Our husbands are our culture. I have married, I have to pick up his shoes, I will iron his clothes, which I don’t do, I do very little, but I know where Sherry’s clothes are. But I know where each thing of Sherry’s is. And I should know when Sherry has to eat, and what he is eating, because I am his wife," she said.

"Because I am a woman. Sherry doesn’t have to know [this] about me. He should know, but I should know more. I believe this, because I’ve grown up seeing this," Kanwal added.

"So I think this feminism that has arrived, these people are liberals. These days a lot of liberals have arrived. My thinking is that feminism [is] me taking care of a man, my husband and respecting him and doing whatever I can, whatever I have been taught."

People didn't really understand what she meant by likening culture to husbands.

Some users questioned whether men wanted maids or marriages.

Or perhaps babysitters.

Some users had different definitions of marriage.

There were some people who felt sorry for the model.

While others felt her comments were degrading towards men.

Many users felt she was showing how deeply and systematically embedded misogyny is.

Some users spelt out what feminism is for Kanwal.

Another called her out for using feminism to benefit herself.

There were quite a few jokes about "baby Sherry".

And while not everyone took issue with what she said, there were parts even her supporters found confusing.

At the end of the day, someone needs to tell Sadaf Kanwal that being a feminist doesn't mean you can't take care of your spouse. No one is saying you can't iron your husband's shirts if you want to. Feminism means women aren't forced to do these things and are given a choice. At a time when violence against women is on the rise and people across the country are calling out for rights and protection for women, these comments are unnecessary, to say the least.

Comments

Ibrahim S Jul 31, 2021 03:45pm
Our basic structure of society preaches man as a bread earner and women as a breeding machine and a cook . She has many roles , all directed by her husband .
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Texas Ranger Jul 31, 2021 03:53pm
@Ibrahim S There is nothing wrong with that. Its a choice people practice. Even if you go in the west, majority of families still live this way. Its a personal choice. If any woman prefers that, who are we to question?
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Engr Nasir Jul 31, 2021 03:55pm
It's non the business of coom9n Pakistani people So people like sarmad. Chania. Sherry are earning their bread by selling cheap ideas.
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tenben Jul 31, 2021 04:09pm
I agree with Kanwal. What about all these liberal women who uses their husbands as ATM machines. And ALL liberal women PLEASE DONT FORGET THAT YOU ALL HAVE BEEN GIVEN ALL THESE RIGHTS OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE NOW by men. It could be your fathers or husbands or brothers. Respect men.
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ST Jul 31, 2021 04:14pm
Husband and wife are two opposites sexes . Bodies different , emotions different , mentally different, capabilities and potentialities different.,. So when everything is different , whats the fight about? Just fulfill your roles as you are capable of and life will run smoothly. House will become home sweet home, life will be bed of roses and everyday will be more precious then the previous :)
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tenben Jul 31, 2021 04:14pm
@Ibrahim S Speak for yourself. Not all men alike. But women really need freedom then stop treating their husbands and fathers as ATM machines. Men requires respect for all they do for their families. All these liberal women who are able to speak today have used either their husbands fathers or brothers or their sugar daddies as their support system otherwise they could not survive. Open your eyes.
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Badtameez Kudi Jul 31, 2021 04:24pm
So Chuhe Kha Kar Billi Haj Ko Chali.
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Shahbaz Ahmed Tarar Jul 31, 2021 04:36pm
I wanna ask when these people urge to respect their liberalism or liberalized thinking, than why don't they respect those who love their culture??
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Sami Jul 31, 2021 04:47pm
She is definitely a good wife. Liberals like Mesha Shafi and Co need to follow her.
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Haseeb Jul 31, 2021 04:56pm
Friendship , love and mutual respect are key ingredients of a healthy relationship. However a wife or a husband chooses to take care o f ( even pamper) his/her spouse is none of any liberal or conservative’s business. Violence, abuse ridicule, bullying etc.perpetrated by anyone, be it husband, wife, in-laws, colleagues or any feminist or chauvinist is equally condemnable.
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Mariyum Jul 31, 2021 05:02pm
Making your own
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F Nawaz Jul 31, 2021 05:04pm
Is their only one approved way of living that everyone should subscribe to? The criticism is hypocritical at best. Everyone wants to impose their opinions on others... or maybe its just part of the world called Twitter.
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Jamil Soomro, New York City Jul 31, 2021 05:05pm
Sadaf Kanwal sounds like the Pakistani Movie character of 1950's and 1960's. " I will pick up his shoes and iron his clothes ' ? Are we in 2021 or am I dreaming ?
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Nadia Jul 31, 2021 05:23pm
Yes her rather hypocritical approach, iron your own husbands clothes, polish his shoes, be his slave blah blah,…but if it’s another woman’s husband go right there dancing with him half clad have an affair and make sure you break up their marriage for good. All this just to have a turn to iron his clothes, polish his shoes.. come on who are you fooling not me!
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amjad ali Jul 31, 2021 05:30pm
Why are people so much angry on her. She likes to live her own way and thats it.
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AJ Jul 31, 2021 05:31pm
I like how when a 'celebrity' talks about slight obedience to husband for a happy relationship, the 'feminist' troopers come out of the wood to obliterate any chance of a cordial marital relationship between a man and a woman. Same group of 'feminist liberals' oppose strict public punishments, like death penalty, for sex offenders and rapists.
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Ahmed Jul 31, 2021 05:48pm
She wants to do this while being sane and adult. What's the issue here? Everyone's happiness can't be what you want it to be. I wonder why feminists have a problem with this.
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M. Saeed Jul 31, 2021 05:49pm
Showbiz ladies and their often spouse changing husbands, are not at all our culture. Rather, they are the reverse of it.
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SMH Jul 31, 2021 06:58pm
@Texas Ranger Agree. This is one woman’s opinion about the relationship. You may agree or disagree but she has the right to have an opinion. If it was not for our women most families will be broken. They are the ones who carry the babies in their wombs and sacrifice a great deal to keep the family together.
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Chrís Dăn Jul 31, 2021 07:06pm
She is so right. In our culture of sub-continent,husband and sons do not even bother to mive their empty cup of tea from the table what to talk about they helping their women in home. No. Helping women is out of our culture.
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Chrís Dăn Jul 31, 2021 07:07pm
@Texas Ranger Absolutely wrong. Western men help their wives in all household chores.
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Chrís Dăn Jul 31, 2021 07:08pm
@Engr Nasir how the idea and realization that women need help in home is cheap???
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Ahsen Jul 31, 2021 07:11pm
A bunch of Karens, this Images team...
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Chrís Dăn Jul 31, 2021 07:11pm
@AJ why to obey a man whether he is a husband or big bro? Women are equal in human rights and women are not less intelligent than men.
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Nidz Jul 31, 2021 07:37pm
Idk whats wrong with that?? Thats her perspective let her live with that... everybody has a choice they wqnt to make so just mind your own business
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Zak Jul 31, 2021 07:45pm
How come feminists never talk about women's smoking, drug use, multiple sex partners, abortions of unwanted children etc.
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Sameer Jul 31, 2021 07:55pm
But that is exactly how Islam codifies the relationship between man and woman.
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Sajjad Jul 31, 2021 08:38pm
Pakistani funda, if you dont get something, call it liberal.
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Hassan Jul 31, 2021 08:38pm
I agree that saba kanwal have taken it a little to far. But I am surprised by the fact that how the top 1% of Pakistani which have become the flag bearer of western culture have subtly disrespected the housewives and the overall culture of our region. These so called spokes person of women right should start with providing equal job opportunities to women in their companies.
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Sajjad Jul 31, 2021 08:39pm
@Zak - you are better off bashing the great Modi ji, this is not your expertise :)
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Pak Patriot Jul 31, 2021 08:44pm
You are grown up and educated, you are your " own person ".
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Chrís Dăn Jul 31, 2021 09:28pm
@Sameer no. Islam gives equal human rights for woman and man.
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Provocative Jul 31, 2021 10:05pm
Don't understand why sadaf was Even choosen for this interview or for this question in particular. She has no idea what feminism is, what spousal relationship is like. That girl is not known for her grey cells. On the other hand, reemas body language was very unprofessional. More like she was ready to taunt the couple's low iq opinions
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Texas Ranger Jul 31, 2021 10:40pm
@Chrís Dăn Did I say they do not help?
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Parsa Aug 01, 2021 01:22am
What kind of white washed name is Sherry for a man. Drop the colonial baggage and trying to Anglicize names. I can’t take these people seriously, she suffers from an identity crisis.
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Pakistani Aug 01, 2021 04:33am
@Chrís Dăn absolutely not. Western society is a selfish society. Everyone is doing their own job and not helping anyone. If the husband or wife doesn’t do their job they are shown the door immediately. Family system is on the brink of collapse because of this selfish attitude. Having said that doesn’t mean that a man should help and support her wife in all aspects of household chores.
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Ahmad Aug 01, 2021 06:32am
It’s her opinion, you don’t have to agree but please respect her opinion for her husband .. May they love and care each other more and May Almighty bless every lawful couple with more love... Ameen
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ABCD Aug 01, 2021 07:32am
Why many are castigating her. Almost all are either doing what she says or will be doing after marriage. That is the culture of subcontinent. Don’t just follow west blindly. Our culture is also not that bad.
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Gabraat Nahi Aug 01, 2021 07:38am
Only economic upliftment of women can bring respect for married woman. To achieve economic independance education is must.
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Waqas Ahmad Aug 01, 2021 08:09am
Um sure he is equally caring and committed to her. Its team work. Why do u all wish to enforce ur own beliefs upon her.
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Truth be told Aug 01, 2021 09:04am
She is correct provided the husband reciprocates 'almost' similarly. It will be ideal.
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Truth be told Aug 01, 2021 09:06am
@Jamil Soomro, New York City its quite unfortunate to learn that you have to commit to more duties in NY and your household is controlled by Westernized mentality. We feel your pain.
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Truth be told Aug 01, 2021 09:09am
@Sameer No, cultural expectations usually prevail but Islam definitely has guidelines that promote taking care of each other, in fact husband has more responsibilities overall but wives are to respect them and be obedient. A win win situation.
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Today Aug 01, 2021 10:19am
You seem very devoted to your husband n his needs. Yet you had to steal him from somebody to become his wife. Doesn't that teach u anything?
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Pakistani Aug 01, 2021 10:54am
People have no precise thoughts. Ask them in depth about the issues and they will bring you down to a point where their illogical arguments will be their only defense. Bandwagoning is common in Pakistan, no critical thinking at all. Same is the case with their knowledge of their culture and nascent topic of feminism.
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Naseer Aug 01, 2021 11:03am
Women role in our society is taken out of context by many by calling her servant or caretaker of her husband, everyone has a role in our society which is assigned as generally and not compulsory, man is responsible for earning and bearing whatever hardship comes his way to find living for his family, he deserves some care when he returns home tired from his wife who spends all day in house doing nothing other than chitchat with neighbors and watching TV, this is something which is very common and general and both men and women are happy with it, yes there are women who call themselve educated and professionals and are busy with their work and projects, and their case is different, but they have no right to talk call other women who do not live like them servants of their husbands and stuff like that.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:26pm
@Truth be told obedient?
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:32pm
@Pakistani without a personal experience of an effective& 24/7/31/365 days personal connection with western families you or anyone can't comment neutrally. A socially integerated family in West knows that partners share responsibilities equally & both have equal human rights. Pakistani men canNOT imagine about giving such equal rights to poor Pakistani women. In West women are not child producing machine and not a free servant for 24/7 available to husbands demands unconditionally.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:33pm
@Parsa it is not colonial baggage. It is about human rights for women ,she is asking for.Any objection?
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:37pm
@M. Saeed showbiz ladies are also women with feelings. Why you dont respect every woman unconditionally? Do Pakistani men have psychological problems in respecting all women unconditionally as a human being with equal rights?
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:41pm
@tenben not all!!! Do not forget that millions of Pakistani men also use their wives as child- producing machines. These men are more in number in Pakistan than gold digger women . Men have no mercy on their many under-nourished new born kids,do not bother about quality education & health of these many many under-fed kids with weak bones neither these men care for health of their personal child producing machines aka home slaves namely wives.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:43pm
@Provocative she has shown more grey cells than Hercule Poirot in dealing with this specific question/social issue.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 12:44pm
@Haseeb A wonderful view about relationship. Cheers:)
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A. ALI Aug 01, 2021 01:26pm
@Jamil Soomro, New York City whats wrong with Sadaf statement?....
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A. ALI Aug 01, 2021 01:31pm
Pakistan is only society where men are disrespected for nothing. Some women are out trying to level men for their personal short comings or bad experience with their men. Let's have a poll in the country who supports my body my will mantra and otherwise.
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Jamil Soomro, New York City Aug 01, 2021 03:02pm
@Truth be told What an illogical comment. The real beauty of Education is to correct what is incorrect. We are in 2021 you are stuck in the past. I feel sorry for your wife that she has to remove your shoes when you come home and has to iron your clothes because she is the woman from the East and not " Westernized " ? I can feel your wife's pain.
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Jamil Soomro, New York City Aug 01, 2021 03:14pm
@A. ALI Sadaf Kanwal is stuck in the past. This is 2021 she should come out of her house and breathe some fresh air.
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Truth be told Aug 01, 2021 03:15pm
@Chrís Dăn yes, just like a vice captain is not in charge but is bound to abide although can offer all sorts of proposals for all matters that need redress.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 05:57pm
@Jamil Soomro, New York City me too.
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 05:59pm
@Truth be told relationship consists of two equal partners. Relationships are not matches.
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Anon. Aug 01, 2021 06:48pm
What they're both trying to do is make up for their poor public image in the aftermath of the Syra Shehroze divorce..they are both so aloof to what feminism really is, it is laughable.
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Rami Aug 01, 2021 07:34pm
To liberals what happened to freedom of speech and choice , it is her choice, liberals do not go in poor areas all over Pakistan, first food, shelter,then education,after this the humans can thinks about intellectual philosophy!
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Chrís Dăn Aug 01, 2021 11:36pm
@Rami thinking and feeling about being equally respectable in a relationship does not need any intellectual streak of mind. It is .inevitable for all classes.
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mukul Aug 02, 2021 01:11am
@AJ slight or not .no human needs to obey another We are humans not dogs in training
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Gp65 Aug 02, 2021 02:08am
@Texas Ranger “ Even if you go in the west, majority of families still live this way. Its a personal choice. If any woman prefers that, who are we to question?” I do not question her personal choice. She can live how she wants to. But she is also making generic comments about how women should be. People can question that. Secondly - majority of women in the west pick up their husbands shoes? Really? Maybe only in families of your friends who share your ethnic background.
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kabeelakhan Aug 02, 2021 05:23pm
@Jamil Soomro, New York City You are dreaming.
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Jamil Soomro, New York City Aug 02, 2021 10:47pm
@kabeelakhan Thank you for reminding me.
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Sane Mind1st Aug 02, 2021 11:43pm
i agree. Husband is Pakistani's wife's culture. It's ingrained. Period.
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Babar Aug 03, 2021 11:49am
Sometimes best to ignore these celebs, they deliberately post thought provoking opinions to self-promote. Remember they live in a bubble completely detached from the day to day reality in Pakistan.
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Mrs Aziz Aug 04, 2021 12:10pm
These comments are hilarious... people commenting don’t even know what feminism is.
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