With the second wave of the corona virus making even the most enlightened non-maskers re-think their lockdown strategy, the government of Cliftonia has come up with a novel plan to entertain a populace forced to stay at home.

The government has launched a revolutionary nationwide art campaign called “Spirit of Cliftonia Biennale 2021 (SoCBi2021)” which is designed to keep its citizens (virtually) occupied as they settle into the New Year.

The novel campaign comprises a wide variety of artwork done by eminent Cliftonians, some of whom even describe themselves as artists. The featured works, which can only be accessed online, serve as comments on the various aspects of Cliftonia’s unique culture and heritage. 

Eos reviews two outstanding installations currently on display at ‘SoCBi2021’.

Work Title: The Investment Banker As A Site-Specific Found Object 
Artist: Rebecca de Chandio
Location: Chandio Manzil, Aitchisonia-upon-Chenab

This work is a veritable treasure trove of objects found in an ordinary Cliftonian home, depicting an ordinary Cliftonian life: the way people in the republic live, dream, love and exfoliate on weekends.

This site-specific installation is the 14-bedroom home of Billie Jaan and the artist Rebecca de Chandio. Humdrum items such as a Hermes Himalaya Birkin and a pair of Stuart Weitzman stilettos are placed casually on a 110-year-old Persian rug. On the coffee table lie a couple of half-filled glasses of Rooh Afza, indicating that both Mr Jaan and the artist enjoy the latest Cliftonian trend of imbibing undiluted Rooh Afza shots to get (an intense sugar) high. On the wall there are works by prominent Aitchisonian, Grammarian and Martial artists. 

The government of Cliftonia has launched a revolutionary nationwide art campaign to entertain a populace forced to stay at home

Across the room, sprawled on the 8,000 US dollars Old Hickory Tannery chaise lounge, is Mr Jaan himself, the main focus of the installation. Mr Jaan is a 61-year-old former investment banker who fancies himself as a political analyst.

He wears a maroon HBS sweatshirt that is a size too small for his ample girth. Mr Jaan gives a rundown of his resume to every visitor who comes to see the installation: “As someone from the finance industry, I detest corruption. I retired two months ago from a multinational bank that was recently in the news for having paid a 4.7 billion US dollars fine in the Far East for money laundering, misappropriation of funds and other such irrelevant irregularities. Prior to that, I was head of mergers and acquisition at a prominent European bank that was fined 1.2 billion US dollars for tax evasion and money laundering six years ago. And before that, I worked on Wall Street for one of America’s oldest and most respected banks which paid 850 million US dollars in fines for money laundering and auditing irregularities the year I joined,” says Mr Jaan.

“Unlike these corrupt politicians, Billie Jaan has made his money the honest way. He can’t stand corruption and people who break the law just to make an extra buck,” explained Ms de Chandio. “That is why he is the main focus of my piece. I feel so blessed to have found him as an object in my life,” she said.

Work Title: A Parliamentary Affair To Remember 
Artist: Jimmy Jirga
Location: National Parliament Building, Aitchisonia-upon-Chenab

What artist Jimmy Jirga has done has never been attempted before. This daring work has re-written the rules for governance, democracy, human rights and the movement for justice.

Jirga takes us into the heart of the republic’s National Assembly and lays bare the dynamics of the newly adopted governing paradigm. Every member of the National Assembly sports the label of his sponsor on his or her person.

For instance, the honorable member in charge of the Ministry of Aviation walks around with the logo of Air Cliftonia embroidered on the back of his jacket … underneath the logo is ascribed the caption: “This member has been paid for by Air Cliftonia.”

A look at the greenback jacket of the Minister of Finance reveals that he has been sponsored by The First Bank of Cliftonia. Similarly, the prime minister, whenever he deigns to appear in parliament, wears a jacket that has the logo of the Cliftonia Ordnance Factory emblazoned on the back, with the caption: “We selected you. We paid for you. We own you. #SamePage.”

“My work is about doing away with sham democracy. I want to show how we can bring transparency into real democracy, where everything is apparent and visible and can be seen clearly from as far away as the Ministry of Agriculture. I truly believe that together we can make this new system work for the benefit of every single Cliftonian billionaire who has faced hardship while travelling with an American passport during these difficult pandemic times. With this system, I am confident that we can exact the best revenge from democracy,” explained Mr Jirga.

Farid Alvie was born. He currently lives. He tweets @faridalvie

Published in Dawn, EOS, January 17th, 2021