Dear Auntie,

I am a 19-year-old boy helping my dad in our family gold business. I was 15 when I joined him. I couldn’t continue my studies because I had Type 1 diabetes as a kid. I used to get really sick at school (almost every day) so my father thought it best to get me out of school and brought me to work with him so he can keep an eye on me. To be honest, I wasn’t a high-flier in my class, but I do wish sometimes that I could have at least finished my O-levels as I lack communication skills and self-confidence. I have to take a backseat while dealing with customers at work. I am also confused as to what I’m supposed to do at my shop. I don’t know if it is management I should pursue, or whether I should become a salesperson or just go into designing jewellery. I like all three but every department requires a certain skill set that I lack. I work very hard to fit into any of the three departments, but I fail every time. Please guide me. I don’t want to be the guy who is not clear on his goals even at the age of 30.

Stressed

Dear Hassled,

The one thing that really strikes me is an idea that seems to be running through your story, which is that you and your family give up at the first sign of a hurdle. When you got diabetes, your parents should have learnt to manage the disease and supported you in continuing your education.

‘I regret leaving school due to illness’

Let’s try to look at things differently. Let’s remove the word ‘fail’ from your vocabulary and look at the things that don’t seem to be working a little differently. When hurdles appear in your work in the three departments that you are working in, can you look at them as learning experiences? For instance, if a jewellery design you create isn’t so great, or someone else is doing a better job, you could try and improve your designing with his help. You could take jewellery designing courses, or learn from those who have been designing for a long time. You could learn from seeing others’ designs. If your sales skills need brushing up, learn from someone who ends up selling a lot. Read up or watch videos on increasing sales or on management. Whichever field you are working in, try and learn from others and the available resources. You needn’t spend a lot on this. We are blessed to be living in a time where there are so many free resources out there. Use them to improve your skills. No one is born knowing everything about everything. Life is a learning process and you are lucky that you have a family business which can be your learning ground. Just persist in your endeavour to learn more.

People with diabetes and other chronic diseases continue to forge ahead in life and pursue their dreams. Cricketer Wasim Akram and actor Fawad Khan are just two examples of people who are living with diabetes and excelling in their fields despite the disease. Success is a mindset.

If you are better able to manage your diabetes now, consider getting private tuitions to complete your education. People with diabetes and other chronic diseases continue to forge ahead in life and pursue their dreams. Cricketer Wasim Akram and actor Fawad Khan are just two examples of people who are living with diabetes and excelling in their fields despite the disease. Success is a mindset.

There is no person on this planet who doesn’t have hurdles in his or her life. Even people with seemingly perfect lives have hurdles. The whole point is to overcome whatever is standing in your way — more often than not, it is just your fears — and persist in pursuing your dreams.

 Auntie will not reply privately to any query. Please send concise queries to: auntieagni@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, December 15th, 2019