When you make a mistake, be quick to admit it

Admitting that you’ve made a mistake can be a hit to your ego. But arguing with or blaming others (or trying to dodge by saying something vague like “Mistakes were made...”) will only make things worse. It’s much better to take responsibility for the situation so that you can clear the air and move on. Swallow your pride and simply say “I was wrong,” offering a brief explanation without making excuses. If your error had a negative effect on others, acknowledge it. Really listen to their reactions, don’t get defensive or interrupt. Then explain what you’re doing to remedy the mistake, including its substantive impacts (money, time, processes) and relational impacts (feelings, reputation, trust). Be open to feedback about what you’re doing. And tell those affected by your error what you’ve learned about yourself (“I realise I sometimes ignore people I don’t see eye-to-eye with”) and what you’re going to do differently in the future.

(Adapted from What to Do When You Realize You’ve Made a Mistake by Deborah Grayson Riegel.)

If a work friendship becomes draining, protect your time and energy

Having friends at work can make you happier and more productive. But those friendships can become draining if they take up too much of your time and energy. What do you do if that happens? Don’t abruptly cut the person off. Instead, make small changes to shift the relationship’s dynamic. Try to tone down the intensity of your interactions and spend less time together. If you usually talk in person, switch to phone calls; if you chat on the phone, switch to email. And emphasise your professional relationship by keeping the conversation focused on work whenever possible. If you can’t draw such a hard line, set some boundaries while thinking about which aspects of the friendship you’d like to preserve. For example, if you regularly give your friend advice, pick one or two issues you’re willing to help with, and let them handle the rest on their own. It will take time to find a balance. Stay strong and stick to your boundaries.

(Adapted from What to Do When a Work Friendship Becomes Emotionally Draining by Amy Gallo.)

Managers, how do you open up to your team without over-sharing?

It’s generally a good thing when employees feel a personal connection to their boss. But when leaders share too much of their thoughts and feelings, they can undermine their authority. (Imagine a manager saying, “I’m scared, and don’t know what to do.”) A good rule of thumb is to open up when you think it will be helpful to others. Evaluate a personal comment by considering how you’d feel if your boss said it to you. If you would be thankful to hear it, chances are your team will feel the same. If not, err on the side of caution. For example, telling employees you’re in a bad mood because you’re having a lousy day is probably fine; telling them you’re in a bad mood because you disagree with a decision by senior management probably isn’t. Opening up is also useful when it helps your team feel less isolated: if you sense people are anxious about a project, acknowledge that you’re feeling the same stress, and thank them for their hard work.

(Adapted from How Leaders Can Open Up to Their Teams Without Oversharing by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy.)

Should you consider your boss’ counteroffer?

When you’ve been offered a job at another company, should you consider a counteroffer from your current employer? It depends why you’re thinking about leaving. If the change is purely about compensation, consider whether taking the counteroffer could hurt your reputation. It could lead executives to question your loyalty, or colleagues to resent you for what they perceive as special treatment. On the other hand, if leaving would be a strategic move for your career, staying might not be the best choice. A higher salary won’t change a job you are dissatisfied with or have outgrown, after all. But if the counteroffer includes a new role that excites you and would let you keep growing, weigh the pros and cons. And think about the long term: if you accept the counteroffer, how likely is

it that you’ll want to leave in a year or two? If you’re still unsure what to do, discuss it with a mentor or trusted colleague.

(Adapted from If You’re About to Take a New Job, Should You Consider Your Boss’s Counteroffer by Kelly O. Kay and Michael Cullen.)

Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, March 18th, 2019