With the much-awaited election looming large, one question on everyone’s mind is: Will there just be one holiday or more? Any excuse not to work is enthusiastically grabbed with both hands by people of the land founded by Mohammed Ali Jinnah who stressed on the importance of work, work and more work. 

“I insist you to strive. Work, work and only work for satisfaction with patience, humbleness and serve thy nation.”

It has to be said that the ones taking the cake and the bakery, too, are the trolls unleashed on social media and on the streets, dealing in alternative facts and abusing royally. While all parties have their own troll army, undoubtedly PTI is the most deserving of the award for the best cannon fodder.   

While former premier Nawaz Sharif and his daughter are in jail on corruption charges — because all such criminals are being prosecuted diligently by the courts for skimming off the nation’s wealth, cough, cough — the most significant takeaway for PTI trolls is Maryam’s designer handbag and sandals en route to Pakistan. Her calmness at the press conference in London was the cause of much hilarity as was her donning a designer scarf. Not to be outdone by domestic trolls, the PTI fanboys in London hurled abuses and shopping trolleys at the Sharif family with élan. Disappointed when no complaints were made to the police, they reserved their choicest cuss words for the grandsons who fought back. It ended with the fan-boys running to the bemused London police with expressionless faces. Oh well, at least the grandsons were arrested, which made PTI supporters ecstatic.  

All that hard work did not go to waste, just as Mr Jinnah had instructed.

Meanwhile, Mr Khan, as we all know, is a man who is easily bored. He has moved on from deriding the wet pantaloons of the Sharif brothers to graphic descriptions of the crowds in Lahore and Karachi who are supporting his opponents. Karachiites have been branded as corpses while Lahore is apparently full of donkeys.  It has to be said in all fairness to PTI that Mr Khan is a great democrat, but the caveat is that you have to agree with him. Likewise with his supporters who hang on to his every syllable to follow to the ‘t’, because why bother to think when you have someone to do that arduous task for you? Mr Khan is akin to the mother making a puree for her toddler, because anything solid is indigestible for the wee mite. The Pied Piper and what he did to the children of Hamlyn because he did not get his due comes to mind.

It has to be said that the ones taking the cake and the bakery, too, are the trolls unleashed on social media and on the streets, dealing in alternative facts and abusing royally.

Hence, once Nawaz Sharif supporters who trekked to the airport to welcome him back were classified as donkeys by the Leader, how could the fans be far behind? If a PML-N supporter equals a donkey, what does a donkey equal? A PML-N supporter! Answer lock kar dain. Thus, a donkey was whipped, crushed and run over by a car by PTI fans unable to believe their luck at being able to beat up a rival party’s supporter. The icing on the cake was when they scrawled “Nawaz” in bold letters across the donkey’s heaving fractured body.                                     

Which begs the question: how does it matter if the donkeys and corpses do not support the Khan as long as he has the Taliban’s vote? The Taliban consider him “sadiq and ameen” (honest and sagacious) which is why they nominated him as their representative. After all, there is more that unites them than divides them.

Not to be outdone, KP’s dour faced ex chief minister Pervaiz Khattak, best known for shaking a leg at Khan’s happening dharnas/concerts, has characterised PPP workers as children of prostitutes, because he is obviously familiar with people from that industry. Recall, he used to be a part of PPP before joining PTI, ahem.

Hence, once Nawaz Sharif supporters who trekked to the airport to welcome him back were classified as donkeys by the Leader, how could the fans be far behind?

Meanwhile, one cannot put up a status on Facebook regarding the political situation and escape unscathed as a friend found out recently. Her comments on PTI attracted the ire of a school friend because grey is passé now since everything is in black and white.   

After all, Quaid-i-Azam’s self-appointed successor, Imran Khan, firmly believes he has been handed the baton and the Jinnah cap. Never mind that the erudite Quaid-i-Azam famously said: “I do not believe in working up mob hysteria. Politics is a gentleman’s game.”

Too clichéd to say Mr Jinnah would be turning in his grave, because by now he should be sitting up, his head in his hands.

Visions of Macbeth’s three witches stirring their bubbling cauldron while throwing in squirming reptiles and chanting:

“Fair is foul

And foul is fair….”

Indeed.

The columnist is a freelance writer.
She tweets @MaheenUsmani
Email: maheenusmani25@gmail.com

Published in Dawn, EOS, July 22nd, 2018