Dear Auntie,

I am a teenager from Lahore, who suffers from severe anxiety and panic attacks. I have been having panic attacks for a few months now, but when I try to tell my mother about it she puts it off and ignores me. She says I am doing ‘dramay’ and I am fine. I feel so lonely as I have nobody else to turn to. I asked my friend who takes anti-anxiety pills for some. I have not taken them as yet but I think I may start taking them. Please help me in this desperate time as I have tried to have a talk with my mother explaining my problem to her, but she says it is not a big deal. I feel I’m sinking into depression knowing that she is not helping me. That gives me more panic attacks. I am unable to control them, they happen randomly. There is no particular reason for one to start. I hope you can help me with my situation. Thank you.

Anxious

Dear Girl,

Please do not take any medication without a prescription! I cannot stress this enough. This is for anyone reading this.

Unfortunately, it is difficult for families to understand mental health issues, especially if they have not experienced them. What you are going through is quite common. You might think your mother’s reaction is negligent and hurtful, but she really doesn’t understand your condition. You may want to look for support elsewhere, perhaps from another trusted adult, such as a khala or a phuppo or a family friend who may be more understanding and who your mother might listen to. They might encourage your mom to take you to a doctor for a proper diagnosis. I hope you also realise that you have not been diagnosed yet with anxiety.

‘I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, but my mother doesn’t understand’

Try not to be angry at your mother. People who don’t have anxiety and panic attacks themselves, or those who don’t have depression, really don’t get what ‘the fuss’ is all about unfortunately.

Instead, while you explore different options to get through to your mother, Auntie would encourage you to take a few steps yourself to cope with your anxiety in a safe way. Start by taking good care of your health. Try and get some exercise every day. Go for brisk walks and even try running every day. The happy hormones that are released when you exercise might help lift your mood. Also try to get some yoga moves into your routine as often as you can. If you are lucky, there might be a good yoga class near your house where you can enrol yourself. However, if that is not a possibility, try Googling ‘Yoga for Anxiety’ which should throw up a bunch of useful YouTube videos which you can follow in your room.

You should also take out the time to journal. People who have mental health issues have had amazing results with journaling. In fact, writer and artist Julia Cameron suggests you should start your day by journaling three pages every single day. Write down everything. Just let out your innermost thoughts without censoring yourself. If you are not comfortable with anyone finding your papers, decide whether you want to keep the pages or destroy them. But this is an exercise that comes highly recommended.

Also, try to eat healthy and try to load up on fresh fruit and veggies. And make a real effort to keep yourself hydrated. Drink a lot of water. I know you are a teenager and I probably sound like a nagging mom or auntie here, but there is a lot of benefit in adopting and sticking to healthy habits.

These tips may not help rid you off your problem, but they will probably help make things better if you stick to them.

Auntie, really hopes you get through to your parents and are able to get the medical attention you require.

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Published in Dawn, EOS, May 20th, 2018