Yes, you really can do that thing you’re scared of
It’s normal to feel powerless when you’re in a new situation. But most people are far more adaptable than they give themselves credit for. To prepare yourself to do something that scares you, think back to things you’ve already done that took guts — maybe it was switching jobs, or moving to a new city. If you’re nervous about going to a networking event, think about all the people you already interact with. Do you speak to your boss the same way you do your colleagues? Do your interactions with your in-laws take the same form as those with your friends from college? Probably not. That means you can adapt to new situations. Focusing on the strengths you already have can give you the courage to do new things.
(Adapted from You’re More Resilient Than You Give Yourself Credit For, by Andy Molinsky)
Do you seek conflict, or avoid it?
When it comes to conflict, there are two types of people: those who avoid it and those who seek it out. Avoiders tend to shy away from disagreements. They prize harmony and relationships with their co-workers. Seekers are eager to engage in conflict. They tend to care most about directness and honesty. Neither style is better, and your default depends on a lot of things: your past experiences with conflict, organisational context and even gender norms. Knowing which style you gravitate toward will help you make a conscious choice about how to address a disagreement. If you’re an avoider, for example, your instinct may be to ignore the situation. But knowing that it’s your natural tendency can help you overcome your resistance to addressing the issue.
(Adapted from the HBR Guide to Dealing With Conflict, by Amy Gallo)
Stop comparing your company to your favourite sports team
Too many leaders use sports analogies to try to motivate their employees. The fact is, sports are a terrible metaphor for business. Why? First, what makes football or basketball so exhilarating is that each game and each season has only one winner. In business virtually every industry has room for plenty of winners. The most successful companies worry less about crushing the competition than about delighting their customers. Second, teamwork in most sports happens among players whose careers are short and whose loyalties last for the duration of their contracts. Companies should be focused on the long term — on attracting the best people in their fields and on creating an environment where great people do their best work year after year.
(Adapted from Why Sports Are a Terrible Metaphor for Business, by Bill Taylor)
Balance your emotional intelligence skills
Having emotional intelligence, or EI, is an important part of being a stronger, more effective leader. But too many people assume that it’s all about being sweet and chipper. Sure, some EI competencies are related to sociability and sensitivity, but others are connected to leadership skills like achievement, influence and conflict management. The key is to have a balance. If you’re strong in some of the softer, emotional skills, then focus on honing skills like giving unpleasant feedback. For example, rather than using your EI to smooth over interactions with a co-worker who is abrasive, work on bringing up the issue to your colleague directly, drawing on conflict management to give direct feedback.
(Adapted from Emotional Intelligence Has 12 Elements. Which Do You Need to Work On? by Daniel Goleman and Richard E. Boyatzis)
Simple ways to read (a lot) more books
How can you fit reading into your already hectic schedule? Start by publicly committing to reading more. Research shows that telling others you’re going to do something makes you more likely to follow through. So open a Goodreads or Reco account, and update your profile every time you finish a book. Don’t make yourself slog through a book if you aren’t getting something out of it. Think of quitting a book as a way to make room for that gem you’re going to read next. Most important, keep a book with you at all times. Instead of checking Facebook when you’re standing in the grocery line, read a few pages here and there. They’ll add up.
(Adapted from 8 Ways to Read (a Lot) More Books This Year, by Neil Pasricha)
Published in Dawn, The Business and Finance Weekly, June 12th, 2017
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